Not cold joke 4 14

1. Not long ago, A Qiang went to a well-known private dentist's office, but when he arrived there, it turned out that the old doctor was out on business and was treated by a young doctor. A Qiang had a decayed tooth, and the young doctor solved it in a few minutes. "All right!" He said proudly.

A Qiang: "Oh! Doctor, you are really great. It doesn't hurt at all! ..... but it feels a little different! "

It turned out that the doctor not only pulled out the decayed tooth, but also pulled out a good tooth next to it!

A Qiang: "What's wrong with you! I want to complain ... "

The doctor breathed, "stop shouting! If you don't stay, people will hear you, and you have to pay for the other tooth! "

2. Doctor: "Please open your mouth."

Patient: "Thank you."

Doctor: "Why thank me?"

Patient: "My husband always tells me to shut up." □ break 32010-05-0716: 241. Last week someone bought a jar of good wine and put it in the corridor. The next day, I found that it was one fifth less, so I posted the words "No stealing wine" on the barrel. On the third day, the wine was two-fifths less. He was very angry and posted the words "heavy punishment for stealing wine" On the fourth day, the wine was still stolen, only one-fifth of it was left, and my lungs were almost mad. When his friend knew it, he said to him, "Idiot! You won't stick the word' urine bucket' on the bucket to see who steals it, will you? " He felt reasonable and did it. On the fifth day, he cried: the bucket is full ... 2. Woman: Do you have a house with two rooms and one living room? M: No, the lady stood up: I have something to do. I have to go first. Male muttered: I have a single-family villa, why should I live in a small apartment? The woman smiled back and the blind date continued. M: I started my own business and sold my apartment. Now I don't have any money. Nunu: I have a lot of things to do. I have to go first. M: Fortunately, the company went public. The woman turned and sat down, and the blind date continued ... M: But the IT industry was surging, and the stock fell below the issue price and stopped trading. W: I have nothing to do today, but I want to go. M: Fortunately, the company has been acquired, so I can cash in to support my second venture. The woman turned around and smiled: you are so bad, always teasing others ... At this moment, two doctors in white coats came over and scolded: How did you run out again? Hurry back and take your medicine! Female: ... (petrified ...) 3. The neighbor saw a little boy sitting on the steps crying. "What's the matter, dear?" She asked. "It's my dad." The child said, "He hit his finger with a hammer." "Then why are you crying?" "Because I just laughed." 4. Gastrointestinal diseases

An old man went to see a doctor and told him that there was something wrong with his stomach.

The doctor asked him, "Is your stool regular?"

"Very regular, defecate on time at eight o'clock every morning."

"Then what's your question?"

"The problem is that I don't get up until nine o'clock every morning."

Doctor: "..."

5, owe a beating

The barber shop met a buddy. After sitting down, the master asked him if he could wash his hair. He hesitated, agreed and chose shampoo. Master carefully washed his hair twice. Back in his seat, the master wiped his head and asked, "What are you doing?" This guy looked in the mirror for a long time and said, "I want to shave my head ..."

6. Before marriage:

He: Long live, finally! I can't wait!

She: May I leave?

He: No! Don't even think about it!

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Will you betray me?

He: No, why do you think so?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: Anyway!

She: Can I trust you?

Read from bottom to top after marriage!

7. This is the smell.

Once upon a time, an old man liked to drink soup cooked by his wife. As long as he doesn't drink for a day, he will feel uncomfortable all over. Later, his wife died and he couldn't drink the soup, so he was very sad and began to let his wife cook it.

But no matter how well his daughter-in-law does, he always throws it aside and says, "It's not the smell. You can cook such a terrible soup! " At first, the daughter-in-law always swallowed her words, but as the days passed, she still couldn't do it. Finally, she had a murder plan to kill her father-in-law. But she doesn't know how to do it. She thought and thought, and suddenly found a rusty pesticide in the corner.

She sprayed insecticide into the soup, and then got up the courage to give it to her father-in-law, who shouted, "That's the smell! This is the taste! "

8. Psychiatric test

A reporter interviewed the director of a mental hospital: "What method do you use to determine whether the patient is fully recovered?" The dean said, "Let's give him a test. Fill a bathtub with water, put a spoon and a big bowl next to it, and let them drain the water from the bathtub. " The reporter disagreed: "Of course it is a big bowl!" The dean looked at him and said slowly, "Normal people pull the plug ..."