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My son and grandmother often buy toys and don't listen to them several times. What should I do?
Why is there a phenomenon of intergenerational drowning?
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In fact, the lack of sense of responsibility is an important reason for intergenerational doting.
Parents always have a high sense of responsibility when raising their children, for fear of spoiling them.
Therefore, I always remind myself not to spoil children too much.
But once we are promoted to grandparents or grandparents.
When we spoil our grandchildren, we lose this concern.
Subconsciously, we reduce our sense of responsibility.
Because children entrust their children to the elderly, the elderly are extra careful when taking care of their children.
I'm afraid the child will hit me, and I dare not hold it in my hand.
Not to mention climbing up and down, which is simply not allowed to happen.
In the past, it was normal for each family to have three or five children.
But now it's mom and dad, grandparents, grandparents.
There are seven aunts and eight aunts, and a large family revolves around a child.
The question that every child is often asked must be: Who do you like best, mom or grandma?
Adults want to hear their names from their children.
Unconsciously, I want to be nice to my children.
Just to brush the sense of existence
In life, it is often seen that many three-year-old children have lost all their teeth.
How many sweets and snacks does the child want to eat?
Old people try their best to be satisfied.
And don't brush your teeth or rinse your mouth after eating.
As the elderly grow older.
Children also have their own lives.
Old people will feel lost.
The appearance of grandchildren filled the gap in their lives.
There is nothing wrong with children being happy.
Not to mention accusing the children of being right or wrong.
A mother complained that
The children took part in the parent-child activities on Halloween and were greeted by a foreign teacher.
The child greeted the foreign teacher in English.
The foreign teacher gave the child a thumbs-up sign.
Then grandma walked all the way and said to everyone along the way
My grandson is very powerful, and foreigners say my children are very powerful.
Children are also proud of grandma's praise.
Then let grandma buy this and that.
Grandma accepted all this.
A seemingly harmonious family, my mother is extremely anxious.
Because children don't speak English that well.
She will worry that after grandma praises her grandson.
The child will be proud. What if they don't study hard in the future?
Speaking in front of grandma may affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Solving this problem is actually very simple. Here are three suggestions for everyone.
treat
Old people spoil children, and our parents should have their own standards. For example, after grandma praised her grandson, we felt that grandma was exaggerating a bit. Mom will say right away that grandma is right. Why does the baby get praise from the teacher? It is because we have to continue to refuel after two days of hard training.
This way of handling
It not only avoids the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also corrects children's learning concept.
In fact, it also educated her mother-in-law to be an elder in disguise.
seek common ground while reserving differences
When our ideas conflict.
First of all, discuss the right and wrong, not argue about right and wrong.
The most important thing is to let children understand the interests and train their discriminating ability.
For example, grandma always likes to buy some snacks for her children after school.
When I got home, the children were full, and I ate very little dinner.
In the evening, the mother can talk to the child alone and ask him.
Baby, why did you eat so little for dinner?
The child will say: because grandma bought a pack of Oreos when she picked me up.
I ate it all, so my stomach is full.
Mother continued to ask at this time.
Do you think snacks should be eaten before meals?
If the child doesn't answer, he already knows. This is not right.
But he still wants to eat.
Next, let's talk about the harm of eating snacks and check the information online together.
After reading the message, the child will say, mom, I get it. I won't eat snacks after school.
Grandma will ask the children what to eat when she picks them up in the future.
The child will say no, or he won't be able to eat dinner.
Grandma will find that the child has grown up and is sensible, and the problem will be solved.
Some people may say, what should some children do unconsciously?
Then let's collect more video materials.
For example, children playing mobile phones at gas stations lead to dangerous accidents at gas stations.
Intuitive videos have more impact on children.
He will gradually accept this information.
Willing to be a bad guy
There are some things we must unify our thinking. What should we do?
At this time, we need to be the "bad guys" in our children's minds and take the blame for our elders.
Grandma feels sorry for her children when they go to school, and wants them to sleep more.
Then let's be bad guys and set rules for our children.
Must get up on time
Sometimes, although our parents are "bad guys"
But in the child's heart, he feels that grandma loves me.
My mother is very strict with me.
Sometimes we can solve practical problems by playing different roles.
In fact, many times, the old people spoil their children out of love for them.
They want to lighten our living burden as much as possible.
First of all, I want to thank my parents for their efforts.
Communicate with each other more and be more tolerant.
Spoiling from generation to generation is no longer your problem.
Hello, I'm glad to answer the landlord's question.
When expressing our opinions with grandma, we can refer to the following points:
1. Thank grandma for her love for her grandson.
Grandma can buy toys for her grandson, which shows that she still loves her grandson and her family. When communicating with your mother-in-law, you should first thank her for her efforts and let her know that she is recognized, and then you can listen to what you say below.
Children have too many toys, which is easy to form the habit of playing casually, which is not conducive to the cultivation of children's attention. Every child is willing to play with new toys and keep buying new toys, and the experience of children playing with a toy in depth will be challenged.
In addition, when there are many toys, it is difficult to classify them. If they are littered, it will be more difficult to clean up, which is not conducive to children to develop good sorting habits.
Sometimes it is really a whim for children to buy toys. After playing for a while, I stopped playing, which directly led to a waste of money.
Old people take care of their children. Children usually buy toys they see on the roadside. These toys are often of poor quality, and most of them have no products. For the health of children, buy as little as possible.
3. Communicate with the elderly some ways to refuse to buy toys for children:
Sometimes old people don't want to buy toys for their children, but they can't beat them. So we can communicate with the elderly like refusing to buy toys for children. Old people try to do it, try and make mistakes, and there will always be success.
For example:
Be reasonable and make rules: don't buy some toys at home, you can get the old ones when you go home.
Distraction method: When toys are necessary, if there is something to eat next to you, you can distract yourself by buying something to eat. It may be better to go somewhere else and not see toys.
How to change: You can play with some classic toys from the age of three, such as building blocks, Legos and magnetic films. If the child is really noisy, see if there are any similar toys. You can buy them and put them with the previous ones when you get home.
Finally, mothers need to do their children's work well at the same time: they can make rules with their children: buy toys at most once a month or spend at most how much money on toys a month, and abide by them with their children's grandmothers. Although the child is three years old and still doesn't know much about it, slowly the child will have a sense of rules and things will become easier and easier.
My mother agrees with her views on education, and delaying satisfaction is very important for every family. If the baby wants to buy, he can buy whatever he wants. He is worried that if he doesn't buy it, his baby will cry and his parents will feel distressed, especially the next generation of old people. Therefore, it is necessary to give the baby a concept of delayed gratification. Give Ma Bao a way: the three-year-old baby is too early to reason, and the baby can't understand. It is suggested that the baby should be taken home when crying, and a separate room, only Ma Bao and the baby, should be closed. At this time, the baby is still crying. Ma Bao doesn't need to talk. She looked at him quietly. Don't be too cruel to the baby. Just give him a quiet environment and watch him. This will give him a warm towel to wipe his eyes. First of all, this will let the children know that mom gave you an opportunity to vent. Secondly, sending a towel means that his mother still loves you. It's no use crying several times. If you can't get what you want, you will naturally stop.
This means that grandma loves her grandson.
This is just a toy topic. I believe there must be many other topics in your life, right?
Don't go online, don't make a mountain out of a molehill, if it's your mother's behavior, it is estimated that you are not so entangled.
I often buy toys for my children. When I go out and see fun toys, I want to buy them. I always want to give them all and make them happy. And I don't think it's too much. A person's childhood is precious and short. Why can't we look at the problem from this aspect? And my children have not been spoiled by me or anything.
Spoiling a toy is not so bad. Some relatives have also told me why they bought such toys. I can't pile them up at home. I don't want to buy it anymore. I was thinking-fuck off! ! !
For children who cry without buying, talk to them and explain. Grandma wants to buy, but she doesn't buy duplicate toys. It's all small things, and how serious it seems.
Any small thing under the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will become a big thing.
Hello! The problem that my son and grandma often buy toys for him shows that grandma loves her grandson very much. You don't want grandma to buy him toys because of thrift, which is good. On this question, that is, how do you communicate with your grandmother in a positive way and explain your views? For example, if you think it's too wasteful and hope grandma won't spend money indiscriminately, then you can communicate calmly with grandma alone. First of all, you should identify with grandma. If you show that you don't want grandma to buy toys for him often, it's a waste, and it also shows your own point of view, but pay attention to your tone and attitude. I hope my answer can help your friend.
As the old saying goes, every once in a while, whose children don't hurt, whose children don't spoil! Nowadays, children are ugly and difficult to control, pampering themselves and always playing a little coquetry. The old man was distressed and readily agreed. Let me explain. Some people can't just blame the old people. Children have to, can't fight, can't scold, can't provoke.
Therefore, children's parents are their first teachers. To strengthen education, parents are the model in their children's growth!
First, affirm grandma's behavior of loving children, and don't be hostile psychologically, otherwise it will hurt not only the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also the education of children. Affirm grandma's love for Bao, and then coax her to know how to love children better. Advise the father to communicate with him. There will never be any contradiction between mother and son. Leaving the differences with her mother-in-law to her husband to solve, avoiding the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law on children, rising to family problems and even affecting the feelings of husband and wife, is the performance of a wise woman.
Grandma doesn't spend money and is stingy; Grandma spends money and is used to children; Grandma takes care of children, with old ideas and no culture; Whether grandma looks after the children or not, there are jingles in which grandma looks after the baby and grandma comes to see it.
The role of grandma can still exist in China. Let's just say Grandma China is on a par with Iron Man.
In fact, there is no serious problem for grandma to buy toys for her children. Do you think you spend too much money, or are you afraid that too many toys will cause problems?
If you are worried about spending money, you can tell your grandmother that I know you want to show your love for your children, but there are already many toys for your children, so there is no need to buy them often. It's too expensive. Keep the money and buy more nutritional supplements. Just spend more time with your children.
If you are worried that your child doesn't know how to be frugal, or doesn't cherish things, or is too distracted, on the one hand, you can tell grandma not to buy too many toys for your child, on the other hand, you can put away some toys and change them every once in a while to keep your child's toys fresh.
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