Sexual Jokes Selection

1. Erdanzi went to the karaoke bar and asked a certain girl to accompany him. He asked for three hundred and gave him a thousand. The girl felt that she had met a noble person. The next night, Erdanzi asked the girl again, and the girl worked harder and got another thousand. ; Ordered again on the third night, the lady said, "I have never met such a good person like you, where are you from?" Erdanzi said: X county, X province. The lady cheered: "We are from the same country! What are you doing here? Erdanzi said: I am on a business trip, and *** asked me to give you three thousand yuan!"

2. First Prize "Meet": The man said: We'll have sex; the woman said: It's been a long time! Second prize "Treat": The man said to the woman: Let me treat you to dinner? Woman: Why bother! Let's go some other time! Third prize "Down below": The woman said to the man: Come on Let's go to my house, I'll feed it to you later! The fourth prize "Doing Business": The woman asked the man: How is my business? The man answered: Let's talk about it later! The fifth prize "Election": The village elected the village chief, and one *** angrily: I agree with whoever does it, but I just won’t let my husband do it...

3. Man: "You take off your clothes first, and I will take off my clothes after you finish taking off my clothes." Woman: "I take off my clothes more slowly, but you are the one who takes off my clothes." Take it off first." Man: "Let's do it this way! Let's take it off together to save time." Woman: "Why is this so embarrassing?" Man: "It doesn't matter, we're on our own." Woman: "Hurry up! Take it all. Put them all in, be careful! Don't make your clothes dirty!" Man: "Well...it's so much more convenient to have this dehydrator."

4. The father took his little son to bed, and the young couple next door. During the event, there was a lot of movement. The younger son asked, what is this sound? The father pondered and replied: This is Japanese. You will understand it when you grow up!

5. A group of women were waiting for a B-ultrasound examination. The nurse shouted: It’s ready. , the color B stands on the left; the black and white B stands on the right. One woman didn't understand, so she lifted up her skirt and took off her breasts, and asked the nurse: What do you think mine is? The nurse said angrily: You are a cow!!

6. Mosquitoes are very proud. She said, ten years ago, I bit her twice on the chest, and now it is so swollen. Mantis said unconvinced, "What's the point? I chopped a knife between her legs ten years ago, and it still hurts every month." Bleeding...

7. A family was blessed with a baby boy. The baby spoke right after he was born. The baby said, "Grandpa." Grandpa died with a cry. The child said again: "Grandma." Grandma died with a cry. The child said again: "Dad." His father said "ah" and saw that he was not dead. At this time, the child's old uncle said "ah" and died.

8. The kangaroo finished his work in three or two strokes, and only listened to the frog next door saying 1, 2, 3, hey! 1, 2, 3, hey all night! The kangaroo was so envious. The next day, the kangaroo said: "Wow!~~ Brother Frog, you are great!" The frog said: "Fuck, I didn't jump on the bed all night"

9. "Why is your dick growing on your back?" The camel said: "Damn it. Stay away, I won’t talk to something with a penis on its face!” Snake laughed wildly after listening to the conversation between the elephant and the camel. The elephant turned its head and said to the snake: "What a joke! You have a face on a penis, you are not qualified!

10. There was a poor scholar who studied hard and wrote couplets in front of his room. To encourage oneself, the first couplet is: "Sleeping in a thatched hut behind closed doors", the second couplet is: "Lying on one's feet and playing the flute", and the horizontal line is: "Being willing to obey destiny". One day, a Henan man passed by this place and saw this. He became curious about the couplet and read it loudly in his hometown dialect: 'Who has *** eyes', 'I told him to make it hurt'... Hey, there is also Hengpi! But this time He read the wrong words: 'We'll do it again tomorrow!'"

11. A hair accidentally came out. A student asked the teacher what it was. The female teacher ruthlessly pulled it out and said Thread!

12. The little boy had no choice but to take off his pants and say you will never have this! The girl also took off her pants and said, my mother said that as long as you have this, you can have as many of those things as you want!

13. When the leader entered the venue, the driver was stopped by the security guard. The driver said that the leader and I were in the same system. The security guard said that X and Dan were also in the same system. **** went in, can Dan go in?

14. Man: "You take off your clothes first, and I will take them off after you finish." Woman: "I take off my clothes slowly, so you should take them off first." Man: "Let's do it this way! Save It's time for us to take it off together.

"Female: "Why is this so embarrassing?" Man: "It doesn't matter, we are one of our own. "Female: "Hurry up! Just stuff everything in, be careful! Don't make your clothes dirty!" Man: "Well...it's so much more convenient to have this dehydrator. ”

15. The father took his young son to sleep, and the young couple next door were moving around, making a lot of noise. The young son asked, what is the sound? The father pondered and replied: This is Japanese. When you grow up, you will Got it!

5. A group of women were waiting for a B-ultrasound examination. The nurse shouted: It’s ready. Those with color B will stand on the left; those with black and white B will stand on the right. One woman didn’t understand and lifted up her skirt and stepped out*. **, asked the nurse: What do you think mine is? The nurse said angrily: You are a jerk!!

There is an old *** who has lived for a hundred years, and there is only one The prostitute *** of the testicles, because of her violent actions, the old prostitute returned to the west. After the police inspection was completed, she said with emotion: This is a bloody lesson, a century-old prostitute was destroyed in one egg!!

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