Foreigners imitate the Monkey King's jokes.

The Monkey King was crushed by the Tathagata Buddha at the foot of Wuxing Mountain after a big fight in the Heavenly Palace. "Biwu", 500 years have passed. ...

Guanyin: Wukong!

Wukong: Shit! You again? You've been here once a week for 500 years. Do you know you are bored?

Guanyin: This is your fault. I came here today to tell you a good thing!

Wukong: If you don't let me out, it's impossible. I have my hands full right now. WWF invited me to be the image spokesperson, and Special Olympics invited Arnold. I just earned some pocket money.

Guanyin: But you are trapped at the foot of the mountain now?

Wukong: Dashan? If I hadn't given the Tathagata a little face, I would have turned into a fly and flew away. I just need to pay for living in other places. The scenery here is beautiful. When Guanyin MM comes to see me, I have to go to work during the day and come back to sleep at night?

Guanyin: Then why didn't you go to work today?

Wukong: Shit! Weekend, understand?

Guanyin: Of course!

Wukong: Then what did you come to tell me today?

Guanyin: Listen. (While speaking, he takes out a small notebook from his pocket) ... the Monkey King, male, was crushed under the Five Elements Mountain for making a scene in the Heavenly Palace 500 years ago. Now the aunts of the street management committee in Tianzhu area have raised their hands and voted to assign this person to a monk in the Tang Dynasty as an apprentice. If you don't listen, you will insert ~ ~ ~ his old wood, splash ~ ~ ~ his sulfuric acid, step on his little ass, and cancel his China BBS login authority …

Wukong: What?

Guanyin: Shh ~ ~ ~ ~

Wukong: Shh, shh?

Guanyin: Shit! Shh, your mother! I told you not to talk, that monk is coming! I want to go first!

Wukong: Huh? Is this the monk?

Tang Priest: According to the map, it should be here, right?

Wukong: Ah! You stepped on my hand!

Tang Priest: Oh, sorry, I didn't notice you, turtle.

Wukong: Tortoise?

Tang Priest: Really? But I really haven't seen a turtle like you with a big shell and an old monkey face.

Wukong: It seems that Guanyin is right. With your IQ, none of you can reach Tianzhu. ...

Tang Priest: Oh? You also know Guanyin? She must be the hottest MM in the local area. I wonder if you know there is a monkey named the Monkey King here?

Wukong: Here is my business card.

Tang Priest: Oh? Your name is the Monkey King, too? What a coincidence! Then you must know someone with the same name nearby?

Wukong: * * *! Think about it with your heel. You should think that I am the monkey you are looking for, right? I'm trapped under the mountain!

Tang Priest: Really? Don't lie to me. Do you think I'm a fool?

Wukong: Fool? Are you a fool? Are you praising yourself or calling a fool? How can you be such a stupid fool?

Tang Priest: Did you see this too? If I'm not stupid, who wants to come out and do this job?

Wukong: OK, OK, now you go to the top of the mountain, take off the seal on it, and I can go with you to learn the scriptures.

Tang Priest: OK, you wait.

Wukong: Hey ~ ~ ~ ~ Did you find it ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tang Priest: I found it ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ but I don't know which one ~ ~ ~ ~

Wukong: Shit! How many notes were posted on it?

Tang Priest: Many! "Plant all kinds of trees if you want to be rich", "Plant only one good tree", "Stephen Chow Community is neither white nor white", "There is no silver here for 320" and "It is forbidden to take pictures here, and offenders will be fined". ...

Wukong: Yes, yes, that's the photo.

Tang Priest: All right! I already took it off!

Wukong: OK! Go away!

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

Wukong: A little further. ...

Hit, hook ...

Wukong: A little further. ...

Hit, hook ...

Wukong: A little further. ...

Tang Priest: Shit! It's far from India ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Wukong: I'm coming out!

Tang Priest: Huh? The mountain didn't fall, so why did you come out?

Wukong: You climbed out of the cave and got a mountain?

Tang Priest: Did you climb out? Seals?

Wukong: it's just a formality ... in fact, the shelf life of the seal has long passed, and no one has come to replace it. The after-sales service is really ~ ~ ~ poor! Let's leave now.

Tang Priest: You are naked, aren't you?

Wukong: What's wrong with me?

Tang Priest: What happened to Mao? If I hadn't become a monk, I would have more hair than you! Here, put this on.

Wukong: Master, it's far from the Western Heaven. If you keep doing this, I'm afraid you won't get there.

Tang Priest: What's wrong?

Wukong: I'm really naked, but it won't help if you put this hoop on my head.

Tang Priest: Why so much nonsense? Put it on when I tell you to!

Wukong: Shit! If it weren't for Guanyin MM's face, I might kill you with a stick! (As he says, Wukong puts on a diamond ring)

Tang Priest: ▲※◆ ■■

Wukong:? My head!

Tang Priest: Ha ha ha! Are you scared?

Wukong: Is this a long-standing "shake your head curse" in Jianghu?

Tang Priest: Yes, once you have heard this mantra of shaking your head, you will be addicted to it immediately. If you don't listen for a day, your blood will flow backwards; If you don't listen for two days, your whole body will fester; If you don't listen for three days, you will suffer from deficiency of both qi and blood, chloasma on your face, enlarged prostate and menopausal symptoms. Even if you eat Gaizhonggai oral liquid produced by Harbin Pharmaceutical No.6 Factory, it won't save you!

Wukong: How vicious!

Tang Priest: Hehe, as the saying goes, no poison is not a husband, and a small amount is not a gentleman!

Wukong: I'll listen to you from now on ... damn it, what is the "shake your head curse"? I hate it!

Tang Priest: Not good!

Wukong: What's the matter?

Tang Priest: Tiger!

Wukong: Master, tigers are not terrible. Haven't you heard that poem?

Tang Priest: Poetry?

Wukong: Yes! As the saying goes, "12345, go up the mountain to shoot tigers, tigers don't eat, just eat big bad guys ..."

Tang Priest: Please, this is a children's song. ...

Wukong: I mean, the tiger will not die with me!

Tang Priest: Shit! I asked you to protect me, not to be an ambassador for wildlife protection organizations!

Wukong: I understand! Listen, all right!

Tang Priest: Wukong, why don't you go?

Wukong: There is a river ahead!

Tang Priest: What is a river? Why don't you just beat him to death?

Wukong: Look, this is the river.

Tang Priest: Oh, this is a river!

(While speaking, I saw a flash of white light, and Tang Priest's mount was gone. )

Tang Priest: Wukong, the horse for the teacher is missing!

Wukong: The horse is missing? Shit! What else can you do? Do you still have your underwear?

Tang Priest: (Stretching out his hand and touching it) Fortunately, I haven't lost it!

Wukong: captured by the little white dragon in the river!

Tang Priest: White Dragon? It's so exciting. I didn't expect to meet a talking monkey and a white dragon eating horses today.

Wukong: When will the big scene be seen? You wait, I'll go down and find him!

Tang Priest: What? Can you swim? It's amazing!

Wukong: pig water brain!

Soon, Wukong pulls the white dragon out of the water, and the white dragon turns into a human form and kneels in front of the Tang Priest. )

Bailong: Are you a monk from the East?

Tang Priest: Exactly.

Bailong: Master!

Tang Priest: Who? Me? Wrong person!

Bailong: Yes, that's you. Guanyin JJ told me to wait for you here.

Tang priest: Guanyin again? How did you get here?

Bailong: I was originally the third prince of the East China Sea Dragon King. I didn't expect my girl to hang a Kai Zi behind my back, and they left on my wedding night! I smashed the new house in a rage. I burned a night pearl, but I didn't expect this bead to be a gift from the Jade Emperor. The jade emperor punished me for saying tongue twisters, but I couldn't, so I was demoted here!

Wukong: Tongue twister? What do you mean?

Bailong: It means "the old monk carries the soup to the tower, and the tower slides with the soup and burns the tower".

Tang Priest: Oh? Isn't what you said quite good?

Bailong: Nonsense, I have been practicing here for more than fifty years!

Tang Priest: I see. How about I teach you a new one? "Eight hundred pacesetter run north slope, north slope artillery run side by side. The artillery did not dare to step on the pacesetter, and the pacesetter did not dare to touch the artillery gun. "

Wukong: What happened to the stopwatch? Say tongue twister again, I'm going to lose my temper!

Tang Priest: Wukong, you don't understand this. Tongue twister is a language game widely circulated among the people. Words with confusing initials, finals or tones are combined into overlapping sentences, which requires you to pronounce them quickly in one breath. When you are fast, your pronunciation is easy to make mistakes!

Wukong: Shit!

Tang Priest: Did you hit me again?

Wukong: Get to the point!

Bailong: Oh, I'm sorry, master. I ate your white horse, so let me turn into a white horse to carry it ~ ~ ~ ~ Why don't you go to learn from the scriptures?

Tang Priest: Hum! Good idea! I want a BMW!

Bailong: Famous car!

Tang Priest: Are you afraid?

Director: Cut!

Tang Priest: Hey! No need, right? Every episode, you come out and stop?

Director: BMW! Our funds are running out. How can we get props for you?

Tang Priest: BMW, the best is only a few hundred thousand.

Director: hundreds of thousands? No, let alone a BMW. Puma can't afford it, can it?

Tang Priest: OK, again!

……

Bailong: Oh, I'm sorry, master. I ate your white horse, so let me turn into a white horse to carry it ~ ~ ~ ~ Why don't you go to learn from the scriptures?

Tang Priest: Amitabha! (Tang Priest draws his sword from behind and points it at Tianyi)

Tang Priest: Give me strength ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I ~ ~ ~ I am a ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Wukong: Cyril?

Bailong: It's my turn!

(White Dragon Transforms)

Tang Priest: Mule!

Director: Sorry, the funds are really insufficient. We must change horses in the next episode.

Bailong: Then please change it to white. This black mule is bad for my image!

Tang Priest: Yes, who has ever seen Tang Priest go out on a mule?

Director: Ladies and gentlemen, let's make do. Dinner tonight is on me.

Bailong: OK, that's settled!

When the sun sets, Wukong carries the burden, and Tang Priest rides a mule and walks to the altar in the afterglow of the sunset ...

Giraffe said, "Little Rabbit, I hope you know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what I eat, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that kind of delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "

The little white rabbit looked at him without expression.

"Also, in summer, cold water slowly flows through my long neck, which is delicious. What a long neck! White rabbit, can you imagine? "

The white rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited?"

The magical little white rabbit

One day, a kangaroo was driving on a country road, and suddenly he saw a white rabbit in the middle of the road, with his ears and body almost on the ground, as if listening to something. ...

So .. Kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously, "What are you listening to, Little White Rabbit?"

"A big truck passed here half an hour ago ..."

"Wow .. so God! .. how do you know? .."

"He XX! That's how my neck and legs are broken .. "

Happy little white rabbit

There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest.

On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana.

The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe Giraffe, why did you do something that hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit and threw it behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits.

Later, they met an elephant who was about to take cocaine.

The white rabbit said to the elephant, "elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the white rabbit and threw the cocaine behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits and giraffes.

Later, they met a lion who was about to fight.

The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, lion, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit, threw the syringe behind him and rushed over to beat the white rabbit hard.

The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "why did you hit the white rabbit?"

It is so kind, cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "

The lion said angrily, "This bastard rabbit drags me around the forest like an idiot every time he eats ecstasy."

What happened to a rabbit in the company?

The first company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Not busy.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: I'm not busy because I can't work for the company more. What does the company want you to do?

* The second company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Very busy.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are disorganized, you will be busy all day. What does the company want you to do?

* The third company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Not bad.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are irrational, there are "yes" or "no" places. What does the company want you to do?

* The fourth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Just finished.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are so inefficient, can't you check it after you finish? What does the company want from you?

* The fifth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Some of them have finished the inspection, and now they are doing something else. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are not systematic, won't you do something together? What does the company want from you?

* The sixth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I have finished all the work and am helping others. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you don't have a plan, won't you plan what to do tomorrow? What does the company want from you?

* The seventh company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Today's work is finished, and so is tomorrow's work. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you don't consider the whole, won't you help your colleagues solve problems? What does the company want from you?

* The eighth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I have finished today's work and tomorrow's work, and now I am helping my colleagues.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are too pushy, your help is likely to cause laziness or stress in others. What does the company want from you?

* The ninth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Wait a minute, I'll think about it before I answer you.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: You are very arrogant. I keep asking you questions. Why does the company want you?

* The tenth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tu Tu: I ... I ... No, I don't know ... how to answer you.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you don't even know whether you are busy or not, what does the company want you to do?

* Eleventh Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Fuck you, I quit ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Boss: Hey! If you have personality, our company won't let you go!

White rabbits and ants

Walking in the forest, the ant suddenly met an elephant. The ant burrowed into the soil and stretched out a leg.

The little white rabbit was curious and asked, What are you doing?

The ant whispered to it:

Shh ... don't make a sound, watch me trip. ...

Rabbit's paper

One day, the rabbit was writing in front of a cave, and a wolf came up and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The wolf asked again, "What topic?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing about how rabbits eat wolves."

The wolf laughed and said he didn't believe it.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave and the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. Then another fox came over and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The fox asked, "What topic?"

The rabbit replied, "How does the rabbit eat the fox?"

The fox laughed after hearing this, expressing disbelief.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit went out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper.

At this time, in the cave, a lion is sitting on a pile of bones and picking his teeth, while reading the rabbit's paper: the ability of an animal depends not on its strength, but on who is its boss behind the scenes!

Rabbit and drugstore owner

One day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit is gone.

The next day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss said, "I told you, no!" "

The little white rabbit is gone.

On the third day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss is anxious: "How many times have I told you? ! Don't! ! ! If you bother me again, I'll clamp your teeth with tiger pliers

Unplug them all! "

The little white rabbit was frightened and ran away.

On the fourth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have tiger pliers here?"

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit asked, "Well, do you have any carrots?"

The boss was really angry, took out the tiger pliers and pulled out all the teeth of the little white rabbit.

On the fifth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have carrot juice here?"

Three little white rabbits

In a mental hospital, one day the dean wanted to see how three mental patients were recovering, so he put a white rabbit in front of each of them. The first mental patient sat on the rabbit, grabbed the rabbit's ear and shouted "Drive". The dean shook his head. The second man turned his back on the white rabbit, patted its ass and said, "Chase it for me". The dean sighed. The third crouched there, touching the white rabbit assiduously. After reading it, the dean nodded with satisfaction, only to hear him say, "sample, let you walk 300 meters, and I will chase you after washing the car!" " Dean fell down and passed out. ...

Discussion between white rabbit and bear

The white rabbit and the big bear squatted under the tree and shit.

Bear said to the white rabbit, although you white rabbits are good-looking, you are in trouble! You can tell when it's dirty. That's disgusting!

The little white rabbit said, look at what you said! Isn't it?

Bear said, yes! Bear said as he grabbed the white rabbit and wiped his ass and walked away.

White Rabbit and Bear (2)

The little white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a jar.

An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes.

The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true.

The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true.

The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again.

The little white rabbit said, give it a bike. Its wish has come true again.

The bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches!

The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, turn this bear into a homosexual. ...

Don't annoy the rabbit.

The beginning of the matter is this:

One of my cousins had to work overtime on Sunday. Her cousin took a driver's license test that day, so she sent her 5-year-old son to my house and asked me to look after him for one day.

I was afraid of disobedience, so I went to the market and bought him a lovely little white rabbit.

Ask me what the rabbit eats, and I will tell him to eat carrots and all the green vegetables. I had a good time with the rabbit and went to read a book.

The rabbit soon finished eating the carrots, and when it was noisy, it went to the refrigerator to find vegetables. Who knows that only a part of the peppers in my refrigerator are green? If you make a scene, break the pepper and feed it to the rabbit.

The rabbit won't eat, but it will eat when it quarrels. The little white rabbit was forced to hurry and kicked his feet wildly, so he pushed the fine sand spread in his nest into his noisy eyes. I was busy rubbing it with my hands. His hands were burning, and I burst into tears.

I heard him crying badly in the study, so I rushed out and asked him what was wrong. He covered his eyes with his hand and kept crying: "The rabbit kicked me, and the rabbit kicked me."

I thought the rabbit really kicked him in the eye. I was scared to death. I thought, if there is a mistake, how should I tell his parents? Busy calling 120.

Then the doorbell rang. I opened the door and saw that it was my brother's classmate. I didn't have time to say hello to him, so I ran back to comfort him. I didn't pay attention to stepping on a piece of watermelon skin he threw around and knocked my head on the door frame and fainted.

My brother's classmates quickly dialed 120, and then remembered some first aid knowledge they learned during military training. They knelt on the ground and tried to pick me up.

At this time, my brother came back. When he saw this scene, he thought that his classmates were going to flirt with me, so he picked up one of his mother's pointed shoes and shone it on the unlucky man's head. Suddenly, blood gushed out.

When the younger brother rushed into the kitchen and took the knife, his classmates tried to explain and ran downstairs desperately.

At this time, Grandma Wang downstairs heard screams and looked out from the peephole of the security door. She saw a man running down with blood all over his face, and his brother was chasing after him with a knife. She was frightened and immediately called 1 10 to call the police.

Originally, she had a slight stroke. In this panic, her hands and feet are even more clumsy. She suddenly sat on the ground and put positive pressure on the kitten's tail.

The kitten jumped out with a sigh, knocked over a pot of soup, and flames scurried around. Grandma Wang picked up a bottle of water and poured it over, but it contained Erguotou that her wife had secretly hidden. So, while putting out the fire, the whole family called the 1 19 fire alarm.

When my brother's classmate ran as fast as he could, he was bumping into an emergency doctor who was walking upstairs. As both sides were in a hurry, they rolled into a ball and fell down the stairs.

At this time, my brother's classmates explained everything to him. But two doctors broke their arms.

After waking up, I called my cousin and brother-in-law. Cousin is drinking water Hearing the news, she choked in her throat and rolled her eyes at once.

Her colleague is busy typing120; When my cousin heard the news, he drove frantically to my house and ran three red lights.

At this time, two ambulances and two fire engines have gathered downstairs in my house. The fireman was about to turn on the fire hydrant when his cousin's car suddenly came and hit it. Suddenly, the water flowed like a river. He turned the steering wheel again and ran into a police car that had just arrived.

And in the back, several traffic policemen riding motorcycles are galloping, and then behind, it is the municipal facilities to repair the car.

That day, it was like a Hollywood blockbuster playing downstairs in my house. According to statistics, only five ambulances were dispatched. I called one, my brother and classmates called one, two injured doctors called one, and my cousin's colleague called one. ...

You said you were missing one? Don't worry, didn't my cousin come back from his driving school? The old coach in the car was so scared that he had another heart attack. Don't you need to order another one?

A room full of rabbits.

One night, an old friend I haven't contacted for a long time made a long-distance call from Beijing and invited me to her "love question and answer" with a smile. Seeing that she was in such high spirits, I readily agreed. She gave me something:

The house, the rabbit, the tiger and myself, let me make up a story intuitively.

I thought about it and said, "There is a tiger chasing me. I was so scared that I quickly threw the rabbit to the tiger and ran into the house to hide myself ... "

The old friend smiled and said, "Wow, you are really a conservative! To tell you the truth, the tiger represents your husband or wife, the rabbit represents your lover, and the house represents your family. It seems that you are a housewife and it is unlikely that you will have an affair in the future. "

After hearing what she said, I felt quite satisfied, so I repeatedly said, "That's it!" " The old friend suddenly said mysteriously on the phone, "Hey, ask your boyfriend this question and see what he says ..."

I think, yes, now is the time to test him. Boyfriend comes back from work. As soon as he stepped into the house, I greeted him and pulled him to the sofa and sat down. I can't wait to know his answer to this question, which is what I expect. Who knows his story became:

"In the forest, I saw a tiger chasing a rabbit. I quickly opened the door, let the rabbit run in and hide, and then drove the tiger away ... "

After listening to my boyfriend's story, I was not only disappointed, but also sad. I kept calling him heartless, but he was puzzled. After hearing my angry explanation, my boyfriend smiled. He gently pointed his finger at my forehead and said, "Oh, who told you to be a tigress?" Can't you be gentle? "Looking at my boyfriend's serious expression, I said to myself," Yes, why do you want to be a tigress! " "

The next day after work, my boyfriend smiled all the way home. I asked him what made him so happy. He laughed almost out of breath and said, "There is no happy event, but do you know how our boss made up that story?" I shook my head.

He said, I was walking on the road and saw a fierce tigress. I learned from the hero Song Wu and killed her. When I get home and open the door, wow! A room full of rabbits! "

1. One person scolds another person: "I really want to spit a bubble in your face!"

2. I remember that a buddy in our dormitory grabbed someone else's buns and said while eating: This stuff is only suitable for stuffing your ass.

3. I remember when I was a child, the primary school teacher scolded a student: "I will kick you out with a slap!" We dare not laugh if we want to.

Several of our middle school classmates once went out by bike, and one classmate kicked another fatter classmate's foot and wanted to scold him at the same time.

I put on a pig's trotter and flew a leg. ...

5. A girl in our dormitory fiddled with another mm's bangs: You see this mess, as if it had been scratched by a dog's paw?

6. Someone in the dormitory drank someone else's boiled water, jumped up and shouted: * *, it was so hot that pigs couldn't stand it. ..

7. In college, there were many people in the men's toilet after class, and everyone lined up. At this time, a classmate said "come here" to the second one behind, and b was grateful. He said quickly, I said, why does the back look familiar?

8. One of my junior high school classmates likes to touch other people's heads. One day, he touched people's heads and said, "My head is quite round." That classmate got bored and took his hand and said, "Don't pull my eggs here."

9. A classmate in my class often writes wrong words, and once wrote an article with such a sentence: I saw a pile of cow dung on the road today, ah, I was shocked. Later, the teacher commented: It doesn't matter if no one stops you from eating it all.

10. One day, one of my classmates was walking on the road. Suddenly, a mouse jumped out and scared him. He opened his mouth and cursed "* *, you scared your dad!"