100,000 cold jokes suitable for students

One hundred thousand cold jokes suitable for students

Telling jokes often can not only bring happiness to yourself, but also infect others. Here I collected100000 cold jokes suitable for students. Let's have a look!

Suitable for students 1 00000 cold jokes (1)

1, I was outside the railway station when a beggar with a bowl came to beg. He asked everyone around me, but he didn't want to ask me! I was so angry that I took out my money and waved it in my hand to show it off to him. The beggar said, hey, come on, man, you want more than me! ?

2、? When the China football team wins, I will divorce you. ? He said simply.

After listening, as a stockholder, her heart is warm. She thought, there is no more lasting commitment than this, and there is nothing more comfortable than waiting for the China stock market to reach 10,000 points.

At the beginning of the year, I set myself a goal to save 50,000 yuan this year. I just calculated that there is still 70 thousand short, and there are still more than two months before the goal is achieved!

My blood pressure has been a little low recently, and I was a little groggy last night. I asked my husband to make me a cup of brown sugar water, but he went and looked for brown sugar for a long time. I said as long as it is sugar. Seeing the gum floating in the cup, I wanted him to sleep on the sofa.

The company stipulates to go to work at eight o'clock, and the boss's requirements are also very strict. One day a buddy was late, and the boss was very upset. He was angry and said, Look at the time yourself! The buddy trembled and replied: 7: 62! Seven, six, two!

On the first anniversary of meeting my boyfriend, I made an appointment with him at the place where we first met. After work, I hurried to the appointment. On the way, I noticed someone following me secretly. I immediately became wary and secretly looked back ... holy shit! It's my stupid boyfriend! He must have forgotten the place where we first met. Do you think I can't recognize it with a cap and a big mask?

7. If an airplane has enough fuel and is suspended somewhere in the air, will it travel around the world? This time it has nothing to do with inertia! I suspect that plane flying is a big scam. They don't fly at all, but float in the air until the earth turns to a certain position and then falls! Is there wood? !

Suitable for students100000 cold jokes (2)

1

People cook in the kitchen. The man came in with a smile: Honey, can I help you? The woman said happily: Good! ? The man helped the woman fasten her apron belt and went out.

2

Watching historical plays, when big people come out, there are always visions, so I asked my mother: Mom, was there anything unusual when I was born? Mom calmly replied:? Yes, when you were born, your father ran away with his mistress. ?

three

Last night, I sang Jay Chou's songs with my alumni in KTV, drinking while singing. I don't know how many songs I sang and how much wine I drank. Finally, everyone cried, on the one hand, because the idol was too excited to get married, on the other hand, he remembered his lost youth, and more importantly, he forgot to look at the price when ordering wine.

four

? Master, I am a teacher, preparing lessons, attending classes, managing classes and doing students' ideological work every day; There are also training, promotion and assessment. I am under a lot of pressure. I can't eat well, sleep well and take care of my family. I also have to face social doubts and parents' incomprehension. What should I do?

The Zen master patted his left chest with his right hand and said nothing.

It suddenly dawned on me: Do you mean not to complain, have a clear conscience and live up to your dreams?

The Zen master shook his head and said, you stay away from me. I was a teacher before I became a monk! Listen to you say this today, my heart is blocked?

five

The young man asked the Zen master: My colleague bought a car, my classmate bought a house, and even my hair is worth millions now, but I still have no money. What should I do? The Zen master took out an egg from the kitchen and handed it to him without saying a word. The young man looked at the egg in his hand. What do you mean? Look down on money? The Zen master pointed to the egg:? I mean, you have an egg. ?

six

I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. I was shocked to eat the first one? Is there anything worse in the world? I ate the second one and cried? Is there really? .

seven

A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp:? I can only give you one wish. Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. ? Person:? I want my wife's magic lamp to turn into a beauty at once, and then disdain to say: I'm starving, greedy for beauty! Pathetic! ? Then he disappeared. Man: Cake.

eight

Xiao Ming's mother stared at Xiao Ming and said kindly, son, I want to tattoo four words on your back so that you will never forget your mother's teachings. Are you afraid of pain? No, just do it. ? Then Xiao Ming took off his coat, and Xiao Ming's mother tattooed four big characters on Xiao Ming's back with tears: I'm sorry. ? Xiaoming, pawn.

nine

Someone is eating mala Tang, perhaps celebrating the decoration of the villa; Some people still use iphone4, but they bought hundreds of thousands of pianos. Don't use your values to measure the strength of others. What you think is awesome may not interest people. For example, I, an old Beijing cloth shoe, shoes for tens of dollars, add up to only 200 dollars. Do you think I have no money? Yes, you guessed it. I really have no money.

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