Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - A passage describing the plot of the main characters in the Water Margin. Want the original! ! ! Main characters: Lin Chong, Song Jiang, jy, Lu, Wu Yong. That's it for the time being.
A passage describing the plot of the main characters in the Water Margin. Want the original! ! ! Main characters: Lin Chong, Song Jiang, jy, Lu, Wu Yong. That's it for the time being.
When listening to the door, the three men went straight to the temple and pushed the door with their hands, but they were caught by the stone and could not push.
Open. . . When Lin Chong heard three people, one was ChaDial, the other was Liu and the other was Fu An. I thought to myself, "God
Poor Lin Chong! If I hadn't fallen off the thatched cottage, I would have been burned to death by these people. "Gently pushed open the stone, quite quite.
With a spear, he opened the temple gate with his left hand and shouted, "Where are the thieves going?" They were stunned when all three of them were in a hurry to leave.
I can't walk. Lin Chong raised his hand. Check the gun, dial the wrong number first. Lu Yu shouted, "Forgive me!" be frightened out of one's wits
I can't walk on my hands and feet. Fu 'an didn't walk more than ten steps, but Lin Chong caught up with him, only got one shot, and his heart fell again. hand over
When I came back, Lu Yu waited for three or four steps. Lin Chong shouted, "Good thief, where are you going!" Only a batch of breasts
Lift it up, throw it into the snow, put the gun on the ground, hold your chest with your feet, take out the knife beside you and walk to Lu Qian.
He put it on his face and shouted, "thief, I came by myself. I have no hatred with you." How could you do this to me? This is murder.
Forgive me, but it's hard to understand. "Tell liu," I won't come unless I do something small. I am sent by Qiu. " Lin chong scolded
"Traitor," he said, "I have been your friend since I was a child, and now you are hurting me. Why don't you do it? And eat my knife! " Balu
Money tore off his upper body clothes, spat a sharp knife into his heart, and blood poured out of his seven orifices and held it in his hand. afterwards
Look, the dial is rising. Lin Chong held back and shouted, "You are really a good man! Eat my knife. "
I cut off my head early and picked it on the gun. Come back and chop off Fuan and Lu Qian's heads. Insert sharp knives and put three.
Personal hair tied in one place, brought into the temple and placed on the altar in front of the mountain god. Then he wore a white shirt and tied it.
Hey, take the felt hat and eat all the cold wine in the gourd. Don't lose the gourd, raise your gun and get out.
The temple gate faces east. I can't walk three or five miles. I saw people in the nearby village holding bucket hooks to put out the fire.
When I came to the Yuanyang building, I crept upstairs, only to hear Zhang Dujian and He still talking. Three people waited anxiously, but no one came back. Hearing this, Song Wu flew into a rage. Jump, cut with one knife, and cut with another knife. Zhang Dujian hurriedly grabbed a chair and swung it to fight Song Wu. Song Wu caught him and gave him a push. Even people and chairs fell to the ground and were kicked by Song Wu. He also cut off his head, and then cut off Zhang Yong's head. He saw wine and meat on the table, drank several glasses of wine, cut a skirt on the dead body, dipped it in blood, and wrote eight big characters on the white wall: "The murderer killed the tiger Song Wu." Then, I crushed the gold and silver wine vessels and put them in my arms. I was about to go downstairs when I heard the lady downstairs say, "The police officer upstairs is drunk, go and ask for help."
Only heard the sound of the stairs, two soldiers rushed up, Song Wu stopped the way and killed one with one knife. The young lady asked downstairs, "What's the fuss about upstairs?" Song Wu ran down and cut the lady with a knife. When she cuts her hair, she can't. Look at the missing edge. Song Wu put on ju, searched again and found two or three maids, all of whom died in their rooms. They left the prison contentedly.
At this time, the gate was closed, and Song Wu climbed over the wall, took off his shoes and socks, and crossed the moat. It's only four or three o'clock in the city. After walking for a while, it was dawn. Song Wu didn't have a rest all day and all night, and his back was hurt by a stick. He saw a small temple in a forest, so he rushed in, took off his baggage as a pillow and fell asleep. Just as he was about to close his eyes, two grappling hooks were placed outside the temple and he was caught. Four people came in and tied a rope. Four men grabbed their luggage and bowed, dragging Song Wu to the village entrance. On the way, he said, "This man is covered in blood, so he must be a thief." Four men dragged Song Wu into a room and tied him to a post. When Song Wu saw that there were two legs beside the stove, he couldn't help sighing. It seems that he was going to die in a shady way. He might as well surrender and get a hero's reputation.
Song said to Jiang, "Good sister! Stop screaming! The neighbor listened and didn't get to the point! " "You are afraid of being heard by outsiders," the old woman said piteously. "You can't do anything! I firmly accept this book! If you want to spare you, just do as I do! " Song Jiang said, "Don't say three things, even thirty things depend on you!" " "I'm afraid I can't," the old woman said piteously. Song Jiangdao: "Let's do it. Dare to ask those three things? "
Yan Poxi said: "First of all, you can return the original document to me from today, and then write a document that allows me to remarry with Zhang San, so you won't dare to argue again." Song Jiangdao: "This depends on it." "The second thing," the old woman said piteously, "although you made all the things I wear on my head, on my body and at home, I also entrusted you with a piece of paper, and you are not allowed to ask for it in the future."
Song Jiang said, "This is also the case." Yan Poxi added, "I'm afraid you can't rely on the third." Song Jiang said, "I used to rely on both of them. Why can't I rely on this? " The old woman said piteously, "Give me the one hundred and twenty gold that the classical water margin gave you, and I will spare you this' Tian Zi No.1' lawsuit and return the money in your purse!" Song Jiangdao: "Those two things are all based on it. The 120 gold was given to me, and I refused to accept it, so I taught him to take it back as before. If it is too late, I will give you my hand. " The old lady said piteously, "I know! As the saying goes, "people are greedy for money, but mosquitoes see blood." He asked someone to send you gold. Did you turn it around? This is like farting! "A public figure, don't cats eat fish?" This ghost can't appear in front of Yan Luowang again! Who are you hiding from? Then give me this one hundred and twenty gold. What's the point? When you were afraid it was stolen goods, it almost melted with me! "Song Jiangdao:" You should also know that I am an honest man and can't tell lies. If you don't believe me, give me three days, and I will sell my furniture for 120 gold, and you can return my briefcase! "The old woman sneered piteously:" You are a good black child, playing with me as a child! I returned your invitation package first, but this book asked you for gold after three days' rest. Is' the coffin came out, I want money! I'm here for cash and delivery! Send two issues quickly! Song Jiangdao: "Sure enough, there is no such gold." . ""When I went to the Ming court, you said there was no gold! " The old lady said piteously.
Song Jiang was furious at the word "public hall", but he didn't hold back. He opened his eyes and said, "Why don't you return it?
The woman said, "You are a wolf, and I will get back at you!" " ! "Song Jiangdao:" Are you sure you don't return it? " "Don't give it back to me!" The old lady said piteously. I'll give you another hundred dollars! If you want to return it, I will return it to you in Yucheng County! "Sung river to pull the old woman's quilt. The woman had this thing beside her, but she ignored it and held her hands tightly to her chest. Sung river tore open the quilt, only to find that this Luan belt was being dragged down on the woman's chest. Song Jiangdao: "So this is it!" If you don't do it, you can join hands. The old woman wouldn't put it there. Song Jiang laid down his life at the bedside, and the old woman cherished death. Song Jiang only pulled hard, but pulled out the ironing knife on the mat, and Song Jiang grabbed it in his hand. When the woman saw that Song Jiang had robbed the knife in her hand, she called "Black Saburo kills people!" Only this sound, just mentioned the idea of sung river. Belly full of gas, but when the woman called for the second sound, Song Jiang held the woman with his left hand and his right hand fell. Go to the old woman's precious son, blood will fly out and women will shout. Song Jiang was afraid that he would not die, and after another knife, his head fell on the stiff neck alone, hurriedly took the bag, took out the book and burned it under the residual lamp; Fasten the belt and come downstairs.
Li Kui jy asked in bed, "Who's here?" Li Kui jy saw that his mother was blind, sitting on the bed reciting Buddha. Li Kui jy said, "Mom, Tie Niu is going home!" Mother said, "My son, you have been away for a long time! Have you settled there in recent years? Your eldest brother just works in other people's parents' time, just to get something to eat. Parenting is nothing. I miss you as usual, and my tears are dry, so I am blind. How have you always been? " Li Kui jy thought, "If I said I was going to the water margin to become an outlaw, my mother wouldn't go. I just assume. " Li Kui jy replied, "Tie Niu is an official now. He got his mother on the way." Mother said, "It's good to have enough land! Just how did you come with me? " Li Kui jy said, "Tie Niu took his mother to the road ahead, but he found a car to take her." . Mother said, "You waited for your eldest brother to come, but you made an arrangement." Li Kui jy said, "What are you waiting for? I will go with you. " Just as he was about to leave, Li Da brought a can of rice. As soon as he entered the door, Li Kui jy saw him and said, "Brother, it's been years!" Li Da scolded 1, "How bad is it when you come back? Tired again! "Mom said," Tie Niu is an official now. He has come to take me home. " Li Da said, "Shit! Don't trust him. Bullshit! When he killed people, he taught me to wear shackles and suffered a lot. Now I heard that he robbed the gift with the water margin thief and made trouble in Jiangzhou. I saw a robber in water margin. The day before yesterday, Jiangzhou's official document arrived, and it fell in place to chase the body. But you want to arrest me. I also asked the rich man to represent me, saying, "His brother has been missing for ten years and has never come home. Don't people with the same name risk their lives? He also made money for me, so he didn't go to court, and the stick was limited to chasing. Look, he's not on the list today. There's a reward of 3,000 yuan for catching him. You are not dead, but you go home and talk nonsense! " Li Kui jy said, "Brother, don't worry. It's better to go up the mountain with you right away! " Li Da was furious. I wanted to fight Li Kui Jr., but he was no match for him. I left the rice cooker underground and walked all the way. Li Kui jy said, "When he goes, he will send someone to arrest me. But I can't leave. Why don't you leave early? My big brother never
Seeing this big silver, I left an ingot of five hundred and twenty pieces of silver in the stall. Brother won't come when he comes back. "Li Kui jy took off his wallet, took a big ingot of silver, put it on the bed and cried," Mom, I'll take you to rest. " Mother said, "Where are you going with me?" Li Kui jy said, "Don't ask me, you just want to have fun. I'd better carry you. At this time, Jane carried her mother behind her back, lifted Ju Er, and came out to watch the road. "。
Li Kui jy picked it up by the stream, picked up the water and took a few bites. Thinking, "How can you catch this water? Go and get it.
Have dinner with mom? "Stand up and look in all directions. I saw a buddhist nun on the top of the mountain in the distance. Li Kui jy said, "Okay. "Climb vines and take ge, to the front of the house. When I opened the door, I saw a big shrine in Sizhou. There is a stone incense burner in front of you. Li Kui jy knocked it with her hand and found it was carved with a chair. Li Kui jy pulled it once, but it can be pulled there. In an instant, even the seats stepped out of the front stone steps and knocked down the incense burner. I took it, and then I went to the stream to soak the incense burner in the water, pull up the weeds and wash it clean. Take half a censer's water and hold it with both hands. Looking for the old road, I came to the ridge. Inside the pine tree, mother disappeared from the stone. I saw the chrysanthemum inserted there. Li Kui jy asked Niang to fetch water, but there was no trace. You shouldn't have called it several times. Li Kui jy fixed his eyes and looked around, but he couldn't find his mother. I couldn't walk more than 30 steps when I saw a blood trail on the grass. Li Kui jy was even more confused when he saw him. Use blood to find the general. I found a big hole and saw two little tigers licking a human leg there. Li Kui thought, "I have come back from the water margin, and I have come to meet him for my mother. After all the hardships, I carried it here, but I ate the bird with you and dragged this man's leg. Whose is it that isn't my mother's? "When the heart is on fire, red and yellow must stand up. Picked up the ju in his hand and slapped the two tigers. The bug was frightened, grinning and crawling forward. The first one was killed by Li Kui. That one looked into the hole and then got in. When Li Kui jy entered the cave, he was also killed, but he entered the big wormhole, but Li Kui jy fell into it. When I opened the door, I saw the female worm show her teeth and look into the nest. Li Kui jy said, "You ate my mother! "Put down ju, broadsword sideways. When the female arrives at the mouth of the cave, she cuts her tail into the nest first, and then takes the second half away. Li Kui jy looked at it carefully in the nest, put the knife under the female blade's tail and tried his best to lay down his life, just poking it in the middle of the female blade's dung door. Li Kui jy made the force heavy, and the knife target went straight into his abdomen. With a roar, the old bug jumped over the stream with a knife at the mouth of the cave. However, Li Kui jy picked up the giant and drove it out of the cave. The tiger rushed down from the rock in pain. Li Kui jy was about to catch up when a gust of wind rolled up from the edge of the tree and blew off the fallen trees like rain. Since ancient times, there has been a saying that clouds generate dragons and winds generate tigers. "That gust of wind rose from that place, and under the brilliance of the moon and the stars, there was a loud noise and suddenly a white-fronted tiger jumped out. Li Kui jy saw the blade one eye, but see:
There was a bang, lightning and thunder, and my eyes were full of lightning.
Shake one's head and tail to bully filial piety, and open one's teeth to spit out the emperor's food.
Blade jy pounced on Li Kui fiercely. That Li Kui jy took his time and took advantage of the power of the blade to take a knife.
Right in the middle of the blade, the blade didn't show and descended. One protects the pain, and the other hurts his trachea. The big bug didn't retreat five or seven steps, only heard a loud noise, such as falling halfway up the mountain and dying at the bottom of the rock. Then Li Kui jy killed four tigers in time, went to the tiger's nest again, took a knife and looked at it again, fearing that it had a blade again. No trace. Li Kui jy is sleepy, too. Go to Sizhou Temple and sleep till dawn. However, the next morning, Li Kui jy came to clean his mother's leg and the remaining bones, and wrapped the cloth shirt. It was not until after the Great Temple in Sizhou that the soil was dug out and buried. Li Kui jy had a good cry.
Lu said that there are two facades, two meat cabinets and three or five pieces of pork. Zheng Tu quietly sat in front of the cupboard, looking at a dozen swordsmen selling meat. Ruda went to the door and shouted, "Zheng Tu!" When Zheng Tu saw it, it was Lu Tihai. He hurried out of the closet and sang, "I'm sorry!" He asked his deputy to bring a stool. "Please sit down." Lu Da sat down and said, "I've been ordered by the master manager to cut 10 Jin of lean meat into minced meat. I don't want to see any fat on it." Zheng Tu said, "Do it-just pick one and cut ten pounds." "Don't let those salters dry," Rudy said. "You can cut it with me." Zheng Tu said, "You're right. I'll do it myself. " I picked ten catties of lean meat from the meat removal box and finely cut it into minced meat.
The bartender wrapped his head in a handkerchief and was about to come to Zheng Tu to tell him about Jin Lao, only to find Lutiha sitting by the door of the meat case, afraid to disturb him, so he had to stand under the eaves at a distance.
Zheng Tu cut it himself for half an hour, wrapped it in lotus leaves and said, "Send it over?" Lu Da said, "What? Let's live. Ten catties more is fat. I can't see anything fine on it, but cut it into pieces. " Zheng Tu said, "That's all I'm good at. I'm afraid I'll make wonton at home. What's the use of a fat girl? " Lu Da opened his eyes and said, "Who dares to ask?" Zheng Tu said, "This is a useful thing. I cut it. " He also chose ten Jin of fat meat, cut it into minced meat and wrapped it in lotus leaves. I have been working all morning, but I have to eat.
The bartender dares to come over, even the customers who are buying meat dare not approach.
Zheng Tu said, "Let's take it to the general's house." Lu Da said, "If you want another ten catties of cartilage, you must finely chop it into minced meat. I didn't see meat on it. " Zheng Tu smiled and said, "But you're not here to tease me, are you?" Hearing this, Lu Da jumped up, holding two bags of shame in his hand, looking at Zheng Tu with wide eyes and saying, "Cudgel is specially for you!" After hitting two packages of steamed bread, it seemed like "meat rain" for a while. Zheng Tu flew into a rage, and two angry people rushed to the top door from your feet. My heart was full of the flame of ignorance, so I grabbed a handful of boning knife from the meat box and jumped down. Rutihah walked into the street early.
There are more than a dozen fire families in the neighborhood, so I dare to go forward and persuade them. Passers-by on both sides stood still, and the bartender was stunned.
Zheng Tu took the knife in his right hand and came to Laruda in his left; Ruled by this Luti, he put down his left hand and hurried in. He looked at his stomach and kicked it into the street. Lu da took another step, stepped on his chest, raised his fist the size of a vinegar bowl, and looked at this Zheng Tu. He said: "It is worthwhile for Zanjia to start investing in his old line and call it' the town of Kansai'! You are a butcher selling meat, a dog-like person, and also called' True Kansai'! How did you cheat Jin Cuilian? " Only one punch hit the nose, and the blood gushed, and the nose was crooked by half, but it seemed as if a sauce shop had been opened, and all the salty, sour and spicy rolled out. Zheng Tu couldn't earn money, so he threw the sharp knife aside and only shouted, "Well played!" Lu Da scolded, "Straight mother thief! Dare to answer! " When you raised your fist, you only punched your eyebrows, and your eyes cracked and black beads burst out. It seems that a colorful silk shop has been opened, and red, black and purple will burst out.
People on both sides are afraid of Rutihai. Who dares to come forward and persuade them?
Zheng Tu, of course, beg for mercy. Lu Da shouted, "Duh! You are a pauper! As long as you fight with me to the end, cudgel will spare you! Now you ask me for mercy, but cudgel won't spare you! " Just one punch, the sun is in front of us, but it seems to have made a whole amphibious Dojo, and the cymbals, cymbals and cymbals rang together. Lu Da saw Zheng Tu standing on the ground, with only breath in his mouth, but no breath, unable to move. Lu Dihai pretended: "You cheated to death, so you can fight again!" I saw the dough change gradually. Lu da thought, "I just want to give this fellow a good beating, and I don't want to kill him with three punches." Cudgel wants to go to court, and no one delivers food. It is better to spread it out early. " When he left, he turned back and pointed to Zheng Tu's body and said, "You faked your death, so take care!" A scolding, a striding away.
Neighbors and Zheng Tu burned the house. Who dares to stop him?
Rutiha returned to the lower place and hastily rolled up some clothes to make them soft as silver, but all the old clothes were discarded. I ran out of the south gate with a Qi Mei short stick and left with a cigarette in my mouth.
Wu said to Yong, "This is not far from the water margin at first glance. Come down in one continuous line. Why not play some? " Ruan Xiaoer sighed and said, "Don't talk." Wu Yong asked again, "Why does the second brother sigh?" Ruan Xiaowu replied, "Professor, I don't know. This Liangshan Lake is the rice bowl of my brothers, but now I dare not go again! " Wu Yong said, "It's such a big place to go, but it's not legal to ban fresh fish, is it? Ruan Xiaowu said, "What kind of lawsuit dares to ban fish fresh! Even the living king can't ban it! "Wu Yong said:" Since there is no lawsuit to prohibit treatment, why have you never dared to go? "Ruan Xiaowu said," The professor didn't know the origin, so he told the professor about it. " Wu Yong said, "I don't care. Ruan went on to say, "It's hard to say where the water margin is! Now there are a new group of strong people in the park, and fishing is not allowed. " Wu Yong said, "I don't know. So now there are strongmen? I have never heard of it. " Ruan Xiaoer said, "Among those strongmen; The leader is a loser named Untitled Scholar, Wang Lun; The second song is called "Touching Du Qian"; The third film is called Song Wan in the Cloud. This is the dry land where Zhu Gui suddenly lost his law. Now that Lijiadaokou runs a hotel, it doesn't matter if he is single-minded about things. Now there is a new hero, Tokyo's imperial coach, Lin Chong, a leopard head, who is very good at martial arts. -These thieves and men gathered 500 or 700 people to rob houses and rob travelers. We haven't gone fishing there for over a year. It's hard to do this now in the barn, with no food and clothing! " Wu Yong said, "I really don't know this. How can the lawsuit not catch them? "Ruan Xiaowu said," Now the lawsuit has been tampered with everywhere, which has harmed the people; But when you go to the countryside, eat all the pigs, sheep, chickens and geese raised by the people first, and then send him away! Now it is better to teach these people how to deal with thieves! How dare you come to the country! If the boss sent them to arrest people, they were frightened out of their wits, how dare they look at him! "Ruan Xiaoer said," I didn't catch a big fish, but I also saved some errands. " Wu Yong said, "When you were on the ground, was that fellow happy? Ruan Xiaowu said: "They are not afraid of anything and lawsuits. On weighing gold and silver, wearing brocade is different; Eating wine in an urn and eating meat in chunks: how unhappy? We three brothers have all the skills, so how can we learn! " Hearing this, Wu Yong secretly rejoiced and said, "This is just a trick. Ruan said: "Life is full of plants and trees!" ! "Let's make a living by fishing and learn from them for a day!" Wu Yong said: "Such a person learns what he does! What he did was not a criminal who fought fifty or seventy, but left all his strength behind! If you are caught in a lawsuit, you are guilty of doing it yourself. " Ruan Xiaoer said, "It is not clear how to deal with the lawsuit. What a mess! It's okay to commit a big crime! My brothers can't be happy. If someone is willing to take us, we will go. " Ruan Xiaowu said, "I often think that my three brothers are not worse than others. Who knows us! " Wu Yong said, "If someone knows you, how will you get there?" Ruan said to him, "If anyone knows about us, go into the water and the fire! If you can see it for one day, you will die for one day! " Wu Yong secretly pleased: "These three are interested. I slowly seduce him. " And persuaded the three of them to eat two rounds of wine. Wu Yong added, "Do you three dare to go to Liangshan Park to catch these thieves?" Ruan said, "If we catch him, where can we repay him? I also eat jokes about heroes in rivers and lakes. " Wu Yong said, "I am nearsighted. If you hate fishing, why not go there to fight for money? " Ruan Xiaoer said, "Old man, as soon as you know that my brothers have discussed it several times, you all want to join us. I heard that Untitled Scholar Wang Lun's minions said he was narrow-minded and restless. Before that, Lin Chong of Tokyo vomited on the mountain. That fellow Wang Lun refuses to provoke people, and my brother is lazy when he sees it. " Ruan said, "I only wish they were as thick as brothers and loved my brother." Ruan Xiaowu said, "If Wang Lun had been as considerate as Professor Wang Lun, we would have been there long ago, and not today. My three brothers will die for him! " Wu Yong said: "It is not enough to measure a young man. Now there are many heroes in Shandong and Hebei. " Ruan Xiaoer said, "There are all kinds of brave men, but my brother has never met them!" Wu Yong said, "I have only heard of Chao Bao Zheng in Dongxi Village, Yuncheng County. Do you know him? " Ruan Xiaowu said, "Isn't there a classic called King Tota?" Wu Yong said, "This is the man." Ruan said: "Although it is only a hundred miles away from us, our fate is shallow and we are known as strangers." Wu Yong said, "Why don't you meet such a generous and good man?" Ruan Xiaoer said, "My brother has nothing to do. He has never been there, so he can't meet him." Wu Yong said, "In recent years, I have only taught some village studies near Zheng Zhuang, Bao Chao. Now I know that he has a set of wealth to collect. Let me discuss it with you. How about we stop him on the road? " Ruan Xiaowu said, "But this one can't be used. Since he is a generous and good man, we have to ruin his way and eat the jokes of Jianghu heroes." Wu Yong said, "I only know that your brothers are not determined, so they really care about customers and are very loyal!" I'll tell you the truth. If I can help you, I'll teach you. I now live in Bao Chao, Zheng Zhuang. Bao Zheng heard your three names and specially taught me to come and talk. " Ruan Xiaoer said, "My three brothers really haven't taken any vacation! Bao Chao dares to engage in luxurious private business transactions and wants to take us away? Must be annoying, man. Let's go If this is still the case, if the three of us can't find a life to help you, the rest of the wine will be sworn, and we will all be suddenly unfortunate and die of illness! " Ruan Xiaowu and Ruan patted their necks and said, "This kind of enthusiasm only needs to be betrayed and recognized!" Wu Yong said, "You three brothers are here. It's not my malice to seduce you. This is a serious matter! At present, Taishi cuisine's birthday is June 15. His son-in-law Liang Zhongshu, in a famous building in Beijing, will celebrate his birthday with his father-in-law.
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