English jokes

A countryman went to a big city for the first time. Walking into an office building, he saw a stout old woman walk into a small room. The door closed and the light flashed. After a while, the door slid open and a beautiful young model got off the elevator.

The countryman blinked in surprise and said slowly, "I should have brought my wife!" "

enlighten

A countryman came to a big city for the first time. He walked into a building and saw a stout old woman walk into a small room. Then the door of the room closed and several lights flashed. After a while, the door opened and a beautiful young female model came out of the elevator.

The countryman blinked in surprise and said slowly, "I should bring my wife!" " "

Prepare yourself.

There is a story circulating on campus: a student sent a telegram to his parents, which read: "Mom-I failed all the courses. Expelled from school. Prepare for Pop. "

Two days later, he received a reply: "Dad is ready. Be mentally prepared. "

done

There is a story circulating on campus: a student once sent a telegram to his parents, which read: "Mom-I failed all my lessons and was expelled from school. Let dad get ready. "

Two days later, he received a reply: "Dad is ready. Be mentally prepared! "

part-time jobs/work

When my son was a sophomore in a middle school, he found a part-time job in a supermarket to package food. He went home all smiles.

"How did you feel on your first day?" I asked.

"Great, Dad," he replied. "I can chat with some beautiful girls."

As Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"

"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"

part-time jobs

When my son was a sophomore in a middle school, he found a part-time job packaging goods in a supermarket. He came home with a big smile on his face.

"How did you feel on your first day?" I asked.

| "Great, Dad." He replied, "I talked to many beautiful girls."

As Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"

"Do you like paper packaging or plastic packaging?

discrepancy

"I can always tell the difference between a graduate class and an undergraduate class," said the teacher who taught my graduate engineering class at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say' good afternoon', college students will answer' good afternoon'. "But graduate students just write it down."

differentiate

"It's easy to tell the difference between graduate classes and undergraduates," said the teacher who taught us graduate engineering at California State University in Los Angeles. "I said' good afternoon' and the undergraduates answered' good afternoon'. The graduate student wrote down what I said in the notebook. "

Keep the change.

One sultry day, I scooped ice cream into a cone and told my four children that they could "buy" a cone from me with a hug. Almost at the same time, the children lined up to buy. The three youngest gave me a quick hug, grabbed their cones and ran back outside. But when my teenage son at the end of the queue finally got his turn to "buy" ice cream, he hugged me twice. "Keep the change," he said with a smile.

Keep the change.

One sultry day, I scooped ice cream into a cone and told my four children that they could "buy" a cone from me with a hug. So, the children immediately lined up to buy. Three younger children gave me a quick hug, grabbed the ice cream cone and ran outside. Finally, at the end of ten years in line, when it was my eldest son's turn to "buy" ice cream, he gave me a hug twice. "Keep the change," he said with a smile.

Prayer before bed

Julie is saying bedtime prayers. "God," she said, "let Naples be the capital of Italy. Let Naples be the capital of Italy. "

Her mother interrupted her. "Julie, why do you ask God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"

Julie replied, "Because that's what I wrote on the geography paper!" "

Prayer before bed

Juliet is saying bedtime prayers. "God, please," she said, "make Naples the capital of Italy."

Mother interrupted her and said, "Juliet, why do you ask God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"

Juliet replied, "Because that's what I wrote on the geography exam."

That's why

Jimmy began to draw when he was three years old, and by the time he was five, he had already drawn very well. He painted many beautiful and interesting pictures, and people paid a lot of money for them. They said, "The boy will be famous when he grows up, and then we will sell these photos better."

Jimmy's paintings are different from others' because he never paints on the whole paper. He painted half, and the other half was always empty.

"That's smart," everyone said. "Nobody does that!"

One day, someone bought a painting by Jimmy and said to him, "Please tell me, Jimmy. Why do you paint in the lower part of the painting, not the upper part? "

"Because I'm small," Jimmy said, "and my hips can't reach very high."

I see

Jimmy started painting at the age of three, and by the time he was five, he had already painted very well. He painted many beautiful and interesting pictures, and people paid high prices for them. They said, "This child will be famous when he grows up, and we can make a lot of money from these paintings."

Jimmy's paintings are different. Because he never paints on the whole paper. He only drew half of the paper, while the other half was always empty.

"What a clever idea!" Everyone said, "No one has ever done this."

One day, a man bought Jimmy's painting and asked him, "Please tell me, Jimmy, why do you always paint in the lower part of the paper instead of the upper part?"

Jimmy said, "Because I am small, I can't reach it."