Note 3 of 20 19 1023 "Ten Commandments of Being a Man"

2, people should have self-knowledge: not only to recognize their own shortcomings, but also to see their own advantages.

? The ancients said, "people are expensive and have self-knowledge." The "knowledge" here is not only reflected in honestly looking at one's own shortcomings, but also in honestly analyzing one's own strengths. Everyone has his own weaknesses and strengths, and we can't doubt all our abilities just because of our shortcomings in some aspects. We should not only see where we are inferior to others, but also see what we look like and what we are superior to. This is the correct self-evaluation.

3. Do what you want: Lack of courage means lack of motivation.

A father is very worried about his children. He is fifteen or sixteen years old and has no masculinity at all. He went to visit a Zen master and asked him to help him train his children. ? The Zen master said, "You leave the child with me for three months, and you are not allowed to see him for these three months. After three months, I will be able to train your child into a real man. "

4. In addition to burying your head in farming, you also need to harvest? In the real society, young people "only bury their heads in farming, not seeking harvest". They think that as long as they work hard, they will naturally have good results. ? In the past, some old people in the society were worried that young people would not work hard, and often earnestly warned young people to "only talk about farming and ask less about harvest", believing that "peaches and plums will have their own way out if they don't talk." I think that as long as I have paid and worked hard, my life will not be in vain. As for the harvest, it can't be ignored. Besides, God is always just, and the harvest must belong to those who work hard. ? But god sometimes seems to have a preference. Everyone pays the same labor, but the result is very different.

In understanding, the struggle for profit is right. ? As the saying goes, honest people eat dumb losses, and crying children have milk to eat. This is an out-and-out "true scripture" summed up by our ancestors. Under the same conditions, the two colleagues live up to their conscience and are more diligent and serious. However, when they were assigned to a room, one of them made only one request to the leader. Although they have been married for five years, the three of them are still crowded into a shabby bungalow. But the other kept complaining to the leader for three days, and whenever he was free, he dialed the string of housing distribution in the leader's mind. As a result, he was given priority, and his honest colleague could only watch others live in a spacious and bright new house. Doesn't he understand the secret?

First, strive for leadership commitment before implementing major tasks.

The reality shows that when leaders assign important tasks, they often take commitment as a means of encouragement, which is both pressure and motivation for subordinates and psychological stability for leaders. He firmly believes that "there must be a brave man under the four rewards." If the leader forgets or fails to make a promise, you should ask for what you deserve in advance. This is not fish in troubled waters, and leaders are more acceptable.

The second is to grasp the "degree" of interests and learn to improvise? It is difficult to grasp the discretion to ask for instructions from the leaders, and they often ask a lot, which causes resentment and ridicule from the leaders. According to our experience, we need to do the following:

? (1) does not dispute small profits. Don't worry about petty profits, show a little broad mind and general demeanor, form a good impression of "willing to suffer" and "will suffer" in the minds of leaders, and insist on tolerance first in petty profits.

(2) Negotiate the price according to the "value" and exchange at equal value. For the simplest example, if you get a sponsorship fee of 6.5438+10,000 yuan, or create a profit of 6.5438+10,000 yuan for your company, you should ask for a reward according to the pre-agreed "royalty" ratio, and you can't expand the requirements or let the leader cut your reward. ?

(3) Exaggerate the difficulties and let the leaders discount. "Overcharging and paying back the money on the spot" is also a way to deal with some leaders who like discounts. Sometimes, if you minimize the difficulties, the leader may give you less credit and less benefits. Therefore, we should learn to fully "explore" difficulties, be good at showing leaders, be more generous than what you actually want when asking for benefits, give leaders some room for manoeuvre, and don't give him the idea of "giving as much as you want". For example, if you ask for housing, you can only ask for a building with two rooms and one living room according to your qualifications and conditions. In fact, you don't have much hope for this, and it won't be too outrageous when the leader discounts.

5. Learn to protect yourself in the workplace: be soft but not "weak" and be good but not "excessive"

Kindness is a valuable quality of human beings, but there are many "militants" in the world besides kind people. Therefore, we must defend our kindness with a firm attitude and make him feel kind but not weak. Those who like to challenge others are not hard on everyone. Needless to say, tough people, those who look serious, they dare not challenge. They only target those who are kind and deceivable, and we must first see if these people are weak.

First, don't talk to people casually? There are many social activities in the company. Participating in these activities can deepen the feelings between colleagues, but don't talk casually. Only when you and your colleagues know that competition is useless or you both give up competition will you have a real feeling. Between two competing colleagues, moving the true feelings will only ask for trouble. For example, two clerks at the same level may be promoted to section chief, but there is only one section chief, and one can't be promoted to the other. People who have not been promoted may misunderstand those who have been promoted, and their future contacts will be unnatural.

Don't criticize your boss in front of your colleagues? Some people like to have a drink with their colleagues in the evening after being scolded unreasonably by their bosses during the day, and then complain to their colleagues. I think since colleagues have been drinking with themselves, they should stand on their own side and criticize the boss with alcohol.

Fourth, don't stand in the wrong team with the wrong people in the unit? If you stand on the wrong team and follow the wrong person, then the leader you follow will definitely hurt you if you suffer. Therefore, we must follow the right people, so that "one person can get the word, and chickens and dogs can ascend to heaven."

5. Don't be a "scapegoat"? In the unit, some bosses are extremely clever and strict with their subordinates so that they will not slack off; And some bosses are just officials and do nothing, perfunctory his superiors. There are also some colleagues who are not responsible enough to cooperate with you. Once something goes wrong, he will pass the buck and pull someone to take the fall for him. ? How can I not be caught by my boss as a "scapegoat" and take the blame for my colleagues? On the one hand, if you want to get on well with your boss and colleagues, they won't arrest you. On the other hand, you should be serious, not careless, and do everything in black and white, even if you are wrong, you should explain it clearly with evidence.

6. Self-degradation can lead to being bullied by others? It's best not to say something like "It doesn't matter anyway, I don't care, and I don't quite understand", which shows your weakness. You could have won the prize when the company gave it away, but you gave up because a colleague who was much worse than you argued with you. This doesn't show your generosity, and he won't appreciate you. Maybe he thinks you are weak and will look down on you in the future.

7. Don't be misunderstood? Everyone knows the story of "hearsay", that is, a sentence was handed down by different people, which violated the original intention. You usually reply to others' words, which may become an embarrassing sentence after being spread by colleagues.

Chapter VIII

1, not fighting for the benefits you deserve is like "sowing dragon seeds and collecting fleas"? In our work and life, some people think that people should keep their duties and behave appropriately. They work hard, are strict and complacent in life, and meet the basic requirements of social norms in all aspects. They are often regarded as obedient people in the eyes of unit leaders, and their image among the masses is also recognized as good. However, such people always suffer. In other words, those who abide by the rules are not rewarded, while those who violate the rules are very profitable. This phenomenon seems abnormal, but it is very common around us. Over time, it becomes a normal phenomenon. Why do such people always suffer? This is directly related to the behavior of being ashamed to fight for one's own interests, and even inevitable.

Personally, if you don't fight for the benefits you deserve, it will often cause the following consequences:

? First, let your own viability appear insufficient. We are all ordinary people living in a secular society. If you want to survive, you must have a certain material foundation as a guarantee. Without these things or insufficient access, life will be very difficult. This is a very realistic problem, and a sense of moral justice cannot solve the roaring problem once and for all. If you are ashamed to compete for profits, so that your salary does not rise, your house does not divide, and your level does not rise, your quality of life will inevitably be affected. And this influence often involves not only one person, but also other members of his small group, especially family members.

Second, it is not good for the long-term development of your career. People with ideals, ambitions and a sense of justice are worth promoting, but a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and tall buildings rise from the ground. The road to the ideal is like a stone road to climb. You must climb it step by step and accumulate some strength. If you are ashamed to compete for profits, it is equivalent to missing a step, and sometimes, missing a step will miss a series of opportunities, so missing a step is likely to be equivalent to missing ten or even hundreds of steps. Undoubtedly, this is extremely unfavorable to the long-term development of our cause.

It's no good being a man without temper. Too weak is definitely worthless? People in the workplace are like Jianghu people. They always feel that they can't help themselves, and stumbling is inevitable. Handling it properly will benefit a lot, otherwise it will be in a dilemma. Honest people tend to keep a silent attitude and will not lose their temper or get angry properly, so they often suffer in the workplace.

3, too honest and kind, no room for development? Lao Liu is an honest man. He was a good student in college. Working in an office after graduation, he became a frequent visitor and rose step by step. It's a pity that when he reaches a certain level, he can't go on, because his bosses only graduated two years earlier than him, and they are all about the same age. If they don't improve, there is no hope for Liu's promotion. ? At this time, another department of the unit will be expanded. People took a fancy to Liu's talent, ability and personality, and repeatedly came to dig, so Liu was tempted and wanted to leave, feeling that he could not open his mouth, because Liu was the real pillar here, although he was not the top leader. Finally let out a little wind, but was persuaded by the boss to go back. Because of my feelings, Lao Liu stayed and remained "honest and hardworking".

4. Be "hypocritical" when necessary? Some people stick to morality dogmatically and hold a negative attitude towards the skills and means of life. They often say, "I can't do such a hypocritical thing!" " "In fact, in the workplace competition, it is necessary to properly stress some means and skills.

To tell the truth, Ma Qiang doesn't want to make up a resume and tell some small lies to the job-seeking unit properly, but the key to finding a good job is to try to cross that first threshold, and then you will have the ability to shine everywhere, especially in some big companies that pay attention to experience. Sometimes you need to be "hypocritical". These are also forced choices. People who are still struggling in the job market may feel this way! Some people say that the people who are most troubled in the job market are those who are too high to be low. Under no circumstances can you put yourself in such a crowd.

Now Ma Qiang has finally realized his dream of "sitting in a spacious and bright office and dealing with people from all over the world", earned enough money and lived an elegant life. In the future, no matter whether he changes jobs or starts his own business, his personal ability and work experience have given him enough confidence and confidence, and he no longer needs the original hypocrisy. But if he hadn't knocked on this door with "hypocrisy", perhaps his professional experience would have been even more bumpy. So, sometimes hypocrisy is not shameful?

Chapter 9

? 1, bold and cautious "thin-skinned", dare to say love in front of the door? Yungang is introverted. He secretly loves a female colleague, but he is ashamed to tell her, because he doesn't know whether she is interested in himself or not. If he is rejected, it will be too humiliating and may attract jokes from others. He often pays attention to the actions of female colleagues, hoping to see something, but to no avail. Yungang is very upset about this. I really hope to find some secrets and help him develop a pair of discerning eyes. ? Is she interested in herself? This is not a problem for a thick-skinned man. I've been in contact with her more, so I'll see it naturally. If not, ask her. But for people with thin skin, it is a big problem, and it is entirely possible to miss a good marriage. The following three secrets may help you honestly guess your girlfriend's mind.

First, look at the line of sight.

? When a woman likes you or has a crush on you, she will look at you quietly when you are not paying attention. When you look at her, she will look away quickly. According to research, looking straight is a sign of being attracted to the opposite sex. However, the woman is afraid that the other person will notice that she is peeking at him, so she has to take a "quick scan" method.

Second, look at the closeness? Sometimes she will deliberately pretend to be expressionless in front of you, or walk away from you, or even deliberately show her closeness to other men in front of you, showing her opposite attitude.

? Third, look at attitude? If a woman lets her guard down and talks to you in an intimate tone, it means that her heart has been completely opened, and it may even suggest that you can "go further"!

2, women like the strong: weakness can't win a woman's heart? Xiao Feng works in a big company, earns a lot of money and is handsome. She is the ideal companion for many girls. His girlfriend's name is Ding Ya, and she works in another company. The two appreciate each other and have deep feelings.

Women want their Mr Right to be a strong man, and they don't want men to rely too much on themselves emotionally and economically. Men should be strong even if they are not strong, otherwise, it is impossible to impress women.

First, understand what women want? Human nature is always eager for something that can't be obtained. Things that can be obtained anytime and anywhere are not as itchy as those that are hard to get.

Second, do you want to be both rigid and flexible? Achieving the perfect balance between rigidity and softness is not the natural strength of most men. It takes time to cultivate. As long as you carefully observe the reaction of the female companions around you to your behavior, you can clearly know where you need to continue to improve. The perfect man is made by women, but this is not the result of women's deliberate management, but the result of men's active catering.

3, courtship must be "conspiracy" and know "small means"? Xiaoli is an affectionate girl. She fell in love with a handsome but a little shy boy, David. One or two practical jokes of Xiaoli made David fall in love with her. Xiaoli really feels so sweet in the days when she is in love with David. But she was afraid that one day David would change his mind and leave her. Therefore, she stayed with David whenever she had the chance, and kept asking him, "Do you love me?" David was deeply moved by Xiaoli's enthusiasm and they established a happy family. ? As the saying goes, "it is easy to plant flowers, but difficult to raise them." Love, like this flower, needs your care and nourishment. Only when the fountain of understanding, respect and trust pours out will the flower of love bloom warmly.

First, don't always make each other make promises? If you often ask, "Do you love me?" "Tell me, you love me!" Is bound to cause the other side's disgust.

Love comes and goes indefinitely, sometimes weak and sometimes strong, regardless of everyone's wishes. It is unrealistic to keep making promises of love.

Second, don't let feelings become a cage? Distance produces beauty. In daily life, leave room for each other. This doesn't mean that we don't need each other, just let each other have the freedom to exist independently. ? Don't focus too much on "we", whether lovers or lovers, they are still two individuals with different personalities. The best state is to let go of each other and let them breathe freely. ? A short separation will make people regain that sense of independence. When we meet again, we will have a new understanding of "life" and "independence". "Breaking up is better than getting married" makes sense.

Third, don't make accessories?

If you completely depend on each other and you give up on yourself, then the attraction of love disappears.

Because the other person loves "the real you". Now, you become an accessory of the other party, just like sticking to the other party, but giving the other party a feeling of being bound. Will this sticky love still be attractive?

Fourth, forgive each other's mistakes? Forgive each other's mistakes, because you will make mistakes. If you love deeply, you may feel that you hate iron and don't produce. It seems that a little fault of the other party is a flaw in your feelings. Nothing in the world is perfect, and feelings are the same.

5. Do you know how to keep a sense of mystery?

Love between men and women is the most wonderful thing in the world. It is necessary to be honest and honest with each other, but at the same time, we should keep some secrets. Only in this way can we grasp each other's curiosity and keep a little feeling of expectation. This is especially important for women. ? A woman's infinite attraction is partly due to her elusive mystery. In ancient times, there was a concubine who was very beautiful and loved by the emperor. Once she was seriously ill and dying. The emperor was heartbroken and went to visit. However, the princess asked the officials to close the veil and refused to face the saint. The emperor was puzzled, and the concubine said sadly, "I am favored by the monarch because I still have some beauty." Now that his face is haggard and withered, how can he arouse the emperor's love? " The emperor cried. After the princess died, the emperor gave her a deep burial and treated her family well. He looks at the portrait of the princess every day and misses her. What a clever woman, the harem is like a cloud, which one can win this honor?

Six, forget the past

Before meeting you, the other person may have had a love experience. If you think that the other person is still loyal and still loves the other person, don't ask the other person about the past. Because such a move will often embarrass the other party, and they will think that you are narrow-minded and suspicious, which will reduce their confidence in you. Moreover, even if the other party says it, it may not be true, but it is just unnecessary. Remember, the best way to treat each other's past is to laugh it off and let it drift with the wind.

Seven, blindly accommodating is not the way? Love is an emotional communication between men and women, and only mutual understanding and consideration can succeed. In the first love, some people are harsh and obedient to each other in order to get each other's good feelings, thinking that this can cultivate feelings. As everyone knows, blindly accommodating is tantamount to connivance. Over time, the other party will torture you like a spoiled child and will be ungrateful for your accommodation. Just imagine, which man would like a little girl who is "passive to Nuo Nuo" and put the boat you love in danger of running aground!

8. Treat love rationally? In the first love, don't easily agree to each other's unreasonable demands. This point should be paid more attention to in women. ? Some girls, because they love each other deeply, are afraid that rejecting each other will destroy each other's feelings. In fact, there is no need to be afraid. If you want to maintain love by this behavior, it is no longer love, but lust. Even if you lose it, you should be glad that you escaped from the clutches earlier. If you really agree, you will give the other party a reason to abandon you. He may think, you are really a casual person!

4, everyone only talks about three points, leaving seven points to reward themselves? As the saying goes, "you only say three points when you meet people", and seven points are not to be told. Some people may think that a gentleman is aboveboard and can't tell anyone anything, so why only say three points?

Don't say anything to others, which means you don't have to announce what you have done. Whether a sophisticated person can talk to others about everything is another question. His only three remarks need not be said and should not be said. They are by no means dishonest or cunning. There are three restrictions on speaking, one is people, the other is time, and the third is land. Needless to say, it is not a person. Not at the right time, although you have a man, you don't have to say that you have a man, not a place, but you still don't have to say that this is too much, to be honest. Find the right person, not the right time. You're giving him a hint. Look at his reaction. Find the right person, the right time, not the right place. You can get his attention by saying three words. If necessary, choose a place to chat for a long time. This is called a person who understands the world.

5. express yourself actively and strive for opportunities to rely on yourself? In every moment and every action of our daily life, we are expounding and expressing our highest views, pace, language style, listening style and various ways to deal with problems. We not only pass on our own information to others, but also get information from others. We know each other's real feelings and try our best to communicate with each other. The opportunity has come, when you need to show yourself most.

The title of this exam is:

First, how will you be the host of this program;

Second, introduce yourself. ?

Yang Lan started like this: "I think the first criterion of the host is not appearance, but whether she has a strong desire to communicate with the audience. I hope to be the host of this program, because I like traveling, and the pleasure of being close to nature is unparalleled. I want to tell my feelings to the audience ... "Yang Lan said in her self-introduction:" My parents named me Lan, hoping that I would have a mind like the sea and be self-reliant. I believe I can do this ... "

It can be said that being good at expressing yourself is an indispensable lesson for success. ? People have a characteristic, that is, they always show their inner feelings more or less. When you are in poor health, no matter how hard you try to hide it, your expression, your expression, or to tell the truth, will always make people think that you are different in peacetime. Similarly, when your mood and mental state are at a low point, your expression, your figure and even the silhouette of your clothes will be displayed, which rarely leaves a radiant impression on people.

Successful people are aware of these truths and usually pay attention to them. Successful people in life are models of positive self-expression. The winner is the first person who catches your attention when you walk into the room. Winners are always kind. Their kindness is not forced or artificial, but a natural expression. This cannot be forgotten. Smile is a universal language all over the world. Smiling relieves vigilance and connects the heart. It expresses meaning that can't be expressed in words. A smile is a lamp that illuminates the window of the soul. Its light makes people feel that some people still care about you, and some people are willing to share their joy with you. ? There is always a unique atmosphere around the winners. This atmosphere has an irresistible attraction, like a supernatural force. This kind of power can make people calm, have support in their hearts, calm their anger and relieve their excitement. This is a magnet charm. The warmth and brilliance that people feel from the winners comes from their inner world. They always project this light on the people around them.

In order to express yourself more actively, you should do it now:

First, correct your understanding of yourself. We should see the mystery and richness of nature. Don't deceive yourself. If you are healthy, you should make good use of it. It's important to look at yourself objectively.

Second, evaluate yourself positively. Deepen the understanding of self-worth and spread it to others. You should be proud to talk about your own affairs.

? Third, take the initiative to control yourself. The so-called fortunes depend on full preparation and confident action. At the same time, it is also to shape a responsible self-image.

? Fourth, actively build motivation. Only consider the successful results. What if it fails? Forget the idea of not wasting your efforts! Stimulate yourself and your friends' desire for action. ?

Fifth, look forward to yourself boldly. When you ignite your enthusiasm, it will spread around immediately, and most people will definitely show respect for your enthusiasm.

? Sixth, actively shape their own image. Let your imagination run wild and describe your charm. Outline a creative and energetic self in your mind. And actively imagine that your charm is getting bigger and bigger.

? Seven, clearly set goals. Write down your goals on paper and talk and discuss with people who can help you achieve them. ?

Eight, actively exercise yourself. Consciously realize your current goal and imagine yourself gradually achieving it in your mind. In a relaxed state, repeat the above training many times, persevere and stick to the end. ?

Nine, establish a positive outlook on life. It is not enough to think only of your own success, but to appear as a successful winner with everyone.