Morning meeting humorous joke short story

Morning meeting humorous joke short story

Humor provides a channel to express feelings, behaviors and impulses that are not accepted by society. So what are the humorous stories suitable for the morning meeting? The following is a humorous story I shared with you at the morning meeting. I hope it will help you.

Morning humor story 1 1) On the train, a man and a woman met, but the problem was that they were in the same sleeping car. Of course it was embarrassing at first, but soon, fatigue made them fall asleep. Men slept in the upper bunk and women slept in the lower bunk. In the middle of the night, the man woke up and woke up the woman sleeping in the lower bunk: "I'm sorry, I froze to death up there." Can you pass me another blanket? " The woman looked at the man with water in her eyes and said to him, "I have a better idea." Shall we pretend to be husband and wife? " The man paused, but immediately promised: "Good, great, what a surprise!" " "He was obviously a little overexcited." So what do we do now? "

2) Husband and wife don't agree, sleep separately, don't talk to each other, and write something. One day, my husband left his wife a note saying that I was going to work and would call me tomorrow. At his wife's bedside, An Lan fell asleep. The next day, when I woke up, it was gone. He was very angry and ran to question his wife. I looked at my wife's room and found her long gone. I couldn't go back to my room. I found a note on my pillow, which said, you damn fool, it's already halfway through, and I still can't get up.

3) If your wife asked you to go out and look for a job, what would you look for? New wife. Does your husband love you? Love, very much! I'm inseparable from him, and I don't even go to work. Does your wife object to your smoking at home? Oh, she objects to my smoking anywhere. She said that smoking for two people costs more than smoking for one person. Whenever my wife and I quarrel, she becomes a historian. You mean, she's hysterical No, she exposed me. She won't lose anything. I am very careful. Whenever my wife and I quarrel, I always let the children go for a walk. No wonder all your children are healthy! Woman: Doctor, my husband always talks in his sleep.

4) the Monkey King got into Princess Iron Fan's belly and borrowed a banana fan. Look at the dialogue below. Wukong said, "Sister-in-law, I'm already in you." Princess Iron Fan: "Come out and get in the way. Uncle, I can't stand it ... Wukong: "Sister-in-law, I'm coming out soon. Please open your mouth quickly. Princess Iron Fan: "Hinder" Niu Wangmo from listening outside the door, leaving a divorce agreement ... and moving away from home.

5) On his girlfriend's birthday, Guo Shuai spent a lot of money to buy a qq number and send it to his girlfriend. The number stands for "I love you all my life". After I bought it, I couldn't log in at all, prompting that the password was wrong. Handsome boy takes a closer look, and the original number is

6) Wife: "How does the fish-flavored shredded pork taste?" Husband: "Just so-so." Wife: "What about burning eggplant?" Husband: "Not bad." Wife: "What about Mapo tofu?" Husband: "Just make do." Wife: "Can a good word kill you?" Husband: "The rice is so hard!"

7) Take your daughter-in-law to climb the mountain. Rest in the gazebo at the top of the mountain. Hug your daughter-in-law intimately and make a strong kiss, but she suddenly said, brother-in-law, don't do this! So many people stare at me. ...

8) Wife: What do you think of sex? Husband: I don't think so, but there are many ways. Wife: What do you think of me wearing a bikini to this seaside party? Dave: No! So people will think you got married after my money. Wife: Husband! Will my hair be ugly? Dave: No. Your ugliness has nothing to do with hair. Wife: Let's see if I broke my palm. Dave: Don't look, there must be. Wife: Why? Husband: Otherwise, how could my life be ruined by you? Wife: Boss, give my husband a bottle of rice wine. Boss: Is one bottle enough? Your husband is famous for his capacity for drinking.

9) A couple has been married for many years. Suddenly one day, the wife asked her husband, "Do you like my beauty or my cuteness?" The husband replied, "I just like your humor."

10) The wife bought a lottery ticket and said to her husband, "If I win the lottery, I will buy a dress." The husband asked, "What if I can't win?" The wife said, "Then buy it for me!"

Husband: Shaving in the morning makes me feel young! Wife: Hum! In that case, you should shave before going to bed. Wife: Honey, I don't look like my mother in this dress, do I? Husband: No, like parents. Husband: If I didn't make a lot of money, how could I have this home? Wife: You're right. If I had no money, I wouldn't go into this house.

Morning meeting humorous joke short story 2 1) It's hard to make money at noon. Who knows that the money in the bag can't make ends meet every month Broken in two in one minute, still tight at the end of the month. Please pay tribute to the god of wealth at once. There are candles and fruits at home. I wish my friends are covered by the god of wealth all the year round, and they can earn money without worry.

2) Female: I have no feelings for you. Me: OK, you can go. Woman: How do you talk? Me: I like direct people. If you tell me how you feel, I will tell you how I feel. Woman: You are so stingy. Me: this is called a frank exchange of views between the host and the guest.

3) What is the world? The sage replied, "Waste!"

4) What is really terrible is not playing the lute to a cow, but a group of cows playing the lute to you.

5) I'm worried about you recently. I wish you hard. I wish you charm and hard work; Do things with courage, make a fortune and make profits; Love is beautiful and life is really smooth. Work hard towards happiness and wish you a happy mood!

6) Cold Monday, Braised Tuesday, Steamed Wednesday, Fried Thursday, Stir-fried Friday, Happy Seasoning, Leisure Wine, I will cook a blessing dinner for you this weekend, and I am willing to enjoy it happily.

7) People have lived all their lives. Don't be too cold in winter, too hot in summer, don't pretend to be poor if you have money, and don't show off if you have no money. Smile rather than frown. Friends often remember, happy life!

8) Why did Guan Yu die earlier than Zhang Fei? Answer: Beauty is unlucky. ...

9) The mouse fell in love with the cat and sang: I love you, I love you, just as the mouse loves rice, no matter how many storms, I will still accompany you. Cat: Don't be vain. My mother said that love without marriage purpose is hooliganism!

10) lovers should be gentle as water and sweet as honey, colleagues should be diligent and have no temper, and friends should have a runny nose, so, dear, wipe your nose in the New Year and have a clean New Year!

1 1) Napoleon: I can't find the word "miss" in my dictionary.

12) eating watermelon is cool, beauty beauty is cucumber, evergreen diuresis is wax gourd, and the sweetest is cantaloupe. You are family with them. Why are you hiding underground? So you are a sweet potato.

Morning meeting humorous joke short story 3 1, my wife bought a new dress. When I asked how much it was, my wife hesitated and said, "I'm afraid a stone stirs up a thousand waves." I said, "It's not a thousand waves at any price, just a Shui Piao." Wife: "Husband, you are so manly today. To tell you the truth, 3000! " "I tried to calm myself down, and Shu spread his eyebrows and said," Alas, 3,000 yuan is such a waste. "

The husband is cutting his wife's toenails. Husband: "Why did you cut off your thumb?" The wife replied, "I wanted to cut it yesterday, but suddenly I remembered that you came back today, so I left it all to you." The husband said, "You really love me!"

Why are you giving me the cold shoulder? How good you were to me before you got married! If you encounter a puddle on the road, you can carry me there. But now you pretend not to see it. What can we do? At that time, your weight was only half that of now!

A woman becomes so arbitrary that her husband has to urge her to see a psychiatrist. The lady agreed, so they went to see the doctor together. The husband waited outside, and an hour later, the wife finally came out. The husband asked, "Are you better now?" "Nothing has changed much," said the lady. It took me fifty minutes to convince him that his bed would look much more comfortable if it was placed on the side of the wall.

I have been married to my husband for 9 years, and this product is now 35 years old. During the quarrel, there were two fierce times, and each time he ran away from home. Then I went to the internet cafe to catch him back, just like a mother catching her own son. We quarreled again last night, and he went out again. I didn't bring him this time. When I came back at noon, my eyes were red ... Hum, you are still a boy of twenty-seven or eight!

6. After the husband and wife quarreled, the husband scolded: You should remember that at any time, men's thinking is right and their judgments are accurate, while women are just the opposite! Yes, it is absolutely right for you to choose me as your wife, but it is a big mistake for me to choose you as my husband!

7. "The wife said to her drunken husband," Look at you like this, you might as well die! Drunk: Is there any wine in hell? "

8. My wife is losing weight. Unfortunately, when my husband went to the kitchen after dinner. When she bit a piece of cake, she said nervously, honey, I'm going to have breakfast tomorrow. Do you want to join me?

9. The husband was injured by his half-year-old daughter. His wife often urges him to go to the hospital. Husband: I don't care about this injury. Madam: I care about my reputation.

10, after the quarrel, the husband and wife each lived in a room, and neither of them spoke to each other. A week later, my wife couldn't help it and wrote a sentence on the note: "Honey, I want to sleep with you tonight." Then let the dog take the note to her husband. After a while, the dog brought a note, and the wife opened it. It said, "I refuse to sleep with the dog!" " "

Morning meeting humorous joke story 4 1, get up in a good mood in the morning. So I said to my husband, "I can see you and sunshine when I wake up every day. This is the future I want!" " "I feel particularly touching! The husband was ruined by one sentence: "Who is Yang Guang? "Theo!

A person will fly back to his hometown in a few days. Today, he said to his wife, "If I die, you can find another one. You are still young. Don't be a widow for me. " Daughter-in-law nodded with tears: "Don't worry, I found it all, just waiting for you to die."

3. Wife: You just watch TV, even the faucet is broken, and the water is soaked in your house. Look at it! Husband: What are you looking at? What channel?

On that day, I accidentally farted in front of my wife, who stared at me. I had a brainwave, opened the fart software and said, "Wife, that's the voice of the fart software!" " "The wife said happily," Where did you download the software? What I downloaded is tasteless? "? !"

One morning, Dave went to work. The wife asked: What to eat at night? Husband smiled and said, Eat you. In the evening, my husband went home to open the door. He was surprised to see his wife running around the house naked and asked, What are you doing? The wife said: hot dishes!

When the wife remembered that tomorrow was her husband's wedding anniversary, she stole her husband's wallet and wanted to know what gift he would give her. It turned out to be eight identical greeting cards, all in one sentence: I only love you! The wife muttered in her heart: her husband's vocabulary is too monotonous.

Husband: What's the matter with you? This beef pie is undercooked. Wife: But I made it according to the recipe. The menu is for four people, and there are only two of us, so I cut the material in half. Of course, the cooking time is also half less than that in the book.

8. My wife is seriously ill and my husband is waiting for you. The wife asked her husband, tell me honestly, what are you going to do after I die? Mr. Wang said, don't ask me this question, I'm going crazy. Will you remarry? If I am crazy, I will remarry.

9. When the husband came home from work, he saw his wife absorbed in reading, and there was a man's hat on the chair next to him. The husband said calmly, "Aren't you bored?" The wife said, "It's not boring, dear. I've been with Shakespeare for hours. " The husband said, "I tell you, this hen left her hat here when she left."

10, Husband: When guests come in the future, don't interrupt when talking about business, and pay attention to the influence. The wife rolled her eyes: What do you know? This is called listening to politics.

Morning meeting humorous joke short story 5 1, a lady: my husband is crazy about me. He said many sweet words in his sleep. But there is an interesting thing-he always calls my name by mistake.

2. Wife: Why are you wearing my clothes? You're out of your mind! What did other passengers see? Take it off quickly. Husband: Shh, be quiet! Don't you know that when a ship sinks, it always saves the female passengers first!

The snow was so thick that the roof collapsed. The wife asked: When shall we repair the roof? Husband said: no need to repair, it is cool in the open air in summer. The wife asked: What about winter? Husband said: No matter how it snows in winter, the roof will not collapse again.

4. In the evening, a thief entered the house, and his wife shouted: There are thieves in our house! The husband said: Shut up! Don't disturb him. I really hope he can find something. If there is, I can get it back from him!

5. Mrs. A: "What birthday present did you buy for your husband?" Mrs b: "I bought him a diary with a lock. I know that he likes to keep a diary and never shows it to others easily. " Mrs. A: "You are so honest." Mrs b: "but I have an extra key."

6. I saw a couple quarreling. The woman is very BH, and the man has thrown away all kinds of hands he wants to hold. The man kept apologizing and squatted. The woman shook off the man's hand again and roared, "What am I and what are you?" I don't know who sang a talkative song: "You are the most beautiful cloud on my horizon, let me leave my heart to you." The man froze on the spot, and the woman twitched at the right corner of her mouth.

The boss asked one of our young female colleagues to help him buy clothes for his son online. Later, this MM bought a coat on the Internet, mailed it as usual, forgot to change her usual address and sent it directly to her boss's house. I asked the seller today, and the seller said that it had arrived. MM found that the address was wrong after checking, so she had to ask the boss awkwardly. The boss looked at her, was silent for a few seconds, and said, "I explained it to my wife all night last night."

8. The wife asked her husband: When I was drowning, did you see the man who saved me? Yes, he greeted me first.

9. Today, a man on the wine table frequently called his wife and said something like "Baby, honey, I'll be right back". Everyone got goose bumps and laughed at him for being afraid that his wife would steal from his family. The man replied with a sad face, "It's much more terrible than that. She is at home Taobao! " "

10, provided that we have been married for 8 years. My husband called me this Valentine's Day. Husband said: "Wife, go to QQ." I asked, "Why? Say something on the phone. " Husband: "Today is Valentine's Day. If you go to QQ, I will send you some roses! " "

Morning meeting humorous joke story 6 1, the wife boasted to her husband: See how much I can live, how much soap can I save by washing clothes once every few months? The husband also boasted: I smoked one cigarette after another. Look, how many matches I have saved!

It rained heavily, and my husband drove his wife home desperately. After nearly crashing twice, the worried wife couldn't help reminding her, "Honey, it might be useful if you turn on the windshield wiper." Mr. Wang shook his head and said, "It's no use. I left my glasses at home. "

The husband called his wife and said that he had invited a friend to dinner at home. The wife replied: unfortunately, today I washed clothes, the curtains were taken off and washed, the room was not cleaned, the child was sick and kept crying, and I caught a cold. I didn't buy anything for dinner The husband said, it doesn't matter, dear. My friend is going to find someone and want to see what family life is like.

4. Women like to ask their husbands: If your mother and I fell into the water at the same time, which one would you save? What would you do if your wife asked you this question? Your father and I were drunk. Who are you helping?

"Today is our wedding anniversary. What are you going to give me?" "Send a song. I'll sing it for you. " "What song?" "I'll send you away, thousands of miles away ..."

6. The husband said to his wife: You always like to compare with your neighbors. People change furniture and you want me to buy a set. People buy color TVs, and you force me to buy them. Now, what should I do? Why, what did the neighbors buy? He married a wife.

7. There is an old couple who have always been very loving. Someone asked them the secret of getting along. The husband thought for a moment, smiled and said, "My secret is one word-forbearance!" As soon as the voice fell, his wife immediately replied: "I am four words-bear with it again!" "

At an engagement party, the young lady hoped to leave a good impression on her fiance's relatives and friends. I saw her coming out with dignity and smiling at the distinguished guest, when she tripped over the foot of the table and fell to the ground. His fiance was in a hurry and wanted to help her move forward, but she turned over and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, how about the martial arts I performed for you?"

9. I saw my wife next door's face hurt downstairs during morning exercise. Two neighbors were talking there: "Oh, my God! What happened to her family? " A: "Didn't you hear it last night? It seems that the couple are quarreling. " Q: "I heard that, huh? Isn't her husband on a business trip? " Answer: "I came back in the middle of the night ..."

10, the manager came to the company with his new wife, greeted the staff, took a subordinate into the inner room, and his wife waited behind the door. First, there is a conversation in the room about the purchase and delivery. After three seconds of silence, I heard my subordinates ask: Is it the original match? Answer: No, it was at Luohu. The lady's face suddenly changed, and she pushed through the door and asked a few questions. They are at a loss. The subordinate gently raised his right hand with a key in his hand.

Morning meeting humorous joke short story 7 1, Steve is in a corner of the bar, holding a bottle of wine in his hand, looking very lost. When the boss saw it, he went up to comfort him and said, "What's the matter? Steve? " Steve sighed. "The last time I had a quarrel with my vicious wife, she vowed not to talk to me for a month." "Isn't this a good thing? You are still depressed. " The boss is puzzled. He sighed again and said, "That was four weeks ago. Today is the last day."

2. A gambler took 1000 yuan from home to gamble. A few hours later, he came back. His wife quickly asked, "Did that big bill have a baby?" "Yes, yes," the gambler said sadly, taking out two 10 yuan bills from his pocket. "It's a pity that their mother died."

3. Wife: Although she is a daughter, look at this nose and mouth, much like you. Isn't it beautiful? Husband: Hum, the most important thing is not like you!

4. Wedding night. "Honey, how many men did you meet before we got married?" The groom asked the bride. I haven't heard back for a long time "it must be angry!" " The husband thought. An hour later, he asked the bride again, "Well, are you still angry with me?" "No, I have been counting. How many? "

5, the wife personally cooks for her husband, and the husband says, "The food is tasteless!" The wife silently farted and said to her husband, "It's tasteless, so you can eat it with the fart!" " "

6.a: "You are still a love loser, you poor bastard!" B: "On the other hand, I am still the winner!" A: "Why?" B: "When she returned the gift, she mixed the gifts given to her by others."

7. Due to the price increase of water and electricity, my wife repeatedly applied at home, and paid attention to turning off the water and lights before going to work. One noon, my wife came home and saw the chandelier in the living room on, the faucet in the kitchen on, and her husband sitting on the sofa reading leisurely. The wife was very distressed and severely reprimanded her husband. The husband said unhurriedly, "You were the last one to leave home this morning. I did this to protect the scene. " .

8. The bride is fine, except that she doesn't clean the house. She was always on tenterhooks, but she was relieved at last. Because one night, her husband boldly shouted in a depressed tone: where is the dust on the table? I remember there was a phone number on it. "

9. If I make a mistake at night, my wife will divorce me. Wife: Hee hee, do you want a boy or a girl? Me: as long as it's mine ~

10. Get up in the morning and ask my wife, "I can't find my socks." The wife took some socks and said, "How did I find all the socks?"

Morning meeting humorous joke short story 8 1. Be a low-key person, and be steady every time; High-profile work, better every time.

2. Treat your troubles as dust on your face and dirt on your clothes. Don't be surprised. Clean at any time and keep it clean.

3. Are you a dung ball that has been rolled by a small retarded dog, a cockroach that has been trampled on, and adopted by a mentally retarded master in Shaolin Temple, claiming that pear blossoms crush begonia?

Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall.

6. That man looks, I don't know. The pixels are relatively low!

7. The real way to measure our wealth is to see how much we are worth when we have no money.

8. The three most difficult things in life: keeping secrets, forgetting the trauma and making full use of leisure.

9. The two most difficult things in the world: one is to put your own thoughts into other people's heads, and the other is to put other people's money into your own pockets.

10. You are dressed like this. Are you dissatisfied with the world?

Morning meeting humorous joke short story 9 1. Construction engineering and marriage and love: marriage is bidding, love is negotiation, the woman's parents are owners, the man's parents are contractors, the witnesses are supervisors, the marriage certificate is a contract, and marriage is a groundbreaking ceremony.

2. The history teacher said that the order of unifying the six countries in the Qin Dynasty could be recorded as "calling Zhao Wei to move".

If you want to have free time, don't waste it.

Rain says the sky will shed tears, coffee says life should get used to bitterness, and I say living is simply suffering.

The state of mind can be calm, but it can't tend to death.

6. The biggest enemy in life is yourself; The biggest failure is arrogance; The greatest stupidity is self-deception.

7. If you want what others can't get, you have to pay what others don't.

8. Being a woman can't be like a saw-although she is sharp-tongued, she alienates people; Being a woman should be like a walnut-although there is no gorgeous appearance, there is a full brain; Being a woman is more like a vase-although she looks beautiful, she is still open-minded and can hold more beautiful flowers.

9. Winners often succeed in the last five minutes.

10. You are dressed dangerously, but you look safe.

Humorous jokes in the morning meeting 10 1. Not every effort will be rewarded, but every effort must be paid.

2. Sorry! I'm already dead! But thank you for coming to see me! See you at eight tonight!

If you hate me, I don't mind at all. I don't live to please you.

The more proud people are, the more they love to hide, and the more painful people are, the more they love to make a mountain out of a molehill.

5. The ideal of life is the ideal life.

6. Don't be a character when you are happy; Don't answer other people's books angrily.

7. If there is no medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.

Waiter, give me a cup of milk tea with more tea and less milk.

9. Those who lose money lose little, those who lose health lose much, and those who lose courage lose everything.

10. Your short is lifelong, and my fat is temporary.

Humorous jokes in the morning meeting 1 1 1. As long as the hoe jumps well, is there a corner that can't be dug down?

If happiness is not on the road, it must be at the end of the road.

3. Advertisement on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisements in taxis: Are they blocked? Take the subway!

People allow a stranger to get rich, but they can't tolerate the promotion of people around them. Because there are conflicts of comparative interests between people at the same level, strangers do not have this problem.

If I give you a pair of wings, you should be braised in brown sauce …

6. Don't be afraid of enemies like tigers, but teammates like pigs!

7. I skipped classes too much. I wanted to go to class yesterday. Seeing the professor, the professor was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for so long, and I have grown so big.

8. Without toads, swans would be lonely.

9. If you want to build a ship, don't hire people to collect wood or assign them any tasks, but stimulate their desire for the ocean.

10. The most urgent thing is the most beautiful kite, and the most painful thing is the most true feelings.

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