Humorous words to comfort lovelorn girls?

Don't be sad, you still have me, you are still beautiful! You can find someone better than him. Don't cry, you see how ugly you cry. You are always the most beautiful in front of me! Remember, he lost someone worse than you, and you lost someone who loved you. I believe that what he lost is a bad person, and what you lost is a good person who loves you. Don't be sad, you still have me, you are still beautiful!