Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - I often quarrel with him and say what you want to do if you don't wash clothes. I said I wash clothes and you support the family.

I often quarrel with him and say what you want to do if you don't wash clothes. I said I wash clothes and you support the family.

What am I willing to do for you in my life? By Qian Haiyan 1. I will cook all kinds of delicious food for you. 2. Go home from work every day and have a meal. I'll wash your clothes. If your linen shirt needs hand washing, I will! 4. And smooth the neckline carefully and remember which wardrobe to hang. Remember which drawer you put loose socks and tight socks in. 6. I'll wait for you to go home at night. Even if I come back late, I will light a paper lamp and wait for you while drawing. 8. On winter nights, the water in the teacup keeps boiling; You read a book and close the door gently for you. 9. In early autumn, I will find out your winter clothes and dry them for you. 10. Pay attention to the weather in another city before you go on a business trip. 1 1. Concerned about the take-off and landing of every plane on the news. 12. Care more about your medical report than your salary bag. 13. And your parents' health. Visit your mother's favorite pastry shop every week, which doesn't contain sucrose dessert. 14. If you tell a joke for the second time, I will laugh. 15. I will remember the good jokes I heard from other places and tell them to you quietly when I get home. 16. I will wear my best embroidered cheongsam to attend your nephew's engagement ceremony and your colleague's family dinner; Your sister's golden retriever retriever has seven puppies in a litter. I'd like to 1 1 drive with you for 40 minutes at night to see them-you know, it's never too late or too far with you. 17. I like kissing you when you eat onions, just like my hair is all curly and my hands are full of soap bubbles, and you will hold me tightly. 18. I won't be embarrassed if you help me paint eczema cream. 19. I am honored to help your neck and shoulders and scratch the corners on your back that you can't scratch before going to bed. 20. You didn't take part in the Great Patriotic War, but you can connect the fuse, drain the sewer, pick up three shopping bags in each hand from the overflow, fix my evening dress zipper 10 minutes before going out, and translate our school's new book into English, and you can still get the Knight's Medal. 2 1. Know 15 years later, I will still be heartbroken by your knock on the door. 22. I still like to hear your first childhood adventure story, how you made a fool of yourself in the chorus competition, fell in love with a beautiful music teacher in grade three, and how many points you got in the college entrance examination for mathematics and geography. 23. Do you know that you broke your forehead and left a scar when you climbed a tree naughty in the country? Much like Harry Potter! 24. You never laugh at me for watching the cartoons of Harry Potter, Peter Pan and Miyazaki Hayao, and I have no objection to you jumping up and striking the table while watching gunfight movies, Jin Yong's novels, philosophical works and online chess and cards. I never want you to change anything except giving me expensive gifts. 26. And I will be very willing to give you expensive and beautiful gifts, I hope they are worthy of you. 27. I will work hard, not only to share some families, but also to hope that you are proud of me. 28. I will secretly save money and give you your dream four-wheel drive off-road vehicle. 29. Study the map of the world after work and plan where to travel on the silver wedding anniversary. 30. Now in your car, I will always check whether there is an umbrella, change, biscuits, Swiss army knife, a coat and fresh mineral water. 3 1. You drive, I'll help you unscrew the lid of mineral water, peel off the soft paper of fruit juice candy and ask you the way. 32. If someone jokes that there are so many snacks behind your car, like a spring outing for elementary school students, you can say it's mine. 33. Remind you to fasten your seat belt when driving and connect it with Bluetooth headset. You forgot your key when you came home. I can go straight home from the press conference and open the door for you. 35. The little lipstick thing I tied to your key is not lipstick, but a miniature flashlight. 36. Yes, yes, I also think that every man should have a professional toolbox including nail gun, cold steel multi-purpose knife and Bosch impact drill. If you don't do your present major, you can certainly become an excellent gardener, carpenter, mechanic, scientist or professional athlete to support your family. Really! 38. The way you smile or blush is not good, but it is particularly beautiful. I will be angry if you are late, but I will be fine if you finally arrive safely. When you are angry, you can't just walk away. 4 1. You are not good at expressing your feelings in words ... I understand. 42. There are always pictures of you and your dog smiling at each other on my desk. 43. When the dog was young, the first thing I trained him to do was to pick out slippers for you. 44. Now it loses its hair on a large scale twice a year. I will patiently choose the white dog hair on the black sweater and sigh with sadness and comfort the passage of time. 45. I will gently hold your hand when you quietly sigh the passage of time. 46. Guess what? When you said you wanted to spend the rest of my life with me, I hoped that the rest of my life would start earlier. 47. Pretend you can't see your stomach. 48. I really think the wrinkles around your eyes make you look more mature and attractive. 49. Are there any other beautiful women who also fall in love with the white hair on your temples? 50. After a certain year, I will put only one candle in your birthday cake. 5 1. You have never forgotten my birthday and wedding anniversary. My parents' seawater aquarium needs workers to change water, and my sister's children's Korean original comic translation department can understand it-and I will never forget everything you have done. 52. No one can speak ill of me in front of you! 53. When you get off work, postpone the celebration dinner with your colleagues in the bar, go to the Chinese medicine shop first and then go home to make you a herbal tea-I saw your face was broken in the morning. 54. Spend an afternoon baking a chestnut cake. 55. Besides learning Zhao Mengfu's small letters, learn Spanish seafood recipes. 56. I tell you quietly that you are really different. 57. Fold the code you gave me the first time, the letter you wrote later, and the note you left and put it in the jewelry box. 58. Your nickname plus the height figure is my boots. 59. I won't tear up the photos if I quarrel with you. 60. Guess why you never rinse the inner shell of an electric shaver, it is always clean? 6 1. What you said, somehow, always makes sense to me. 62. Even if it seems unreasonable, I am willing to listen to your further explanation. In marriage, if there is a sentence as important as "I love you", it is "Maybe I am wrong". If I am wrong, I will apologize. I will forgive you if you apologize. 66. I won't ask what you really don't want to say. 67. But do you really think I don't know who called those nights during that time? 68. Married men should also have their own bank accounts, time and some secrets. I will iron your shirt when you meet your first girlfriend 20 years ago. 70. Go to the seaside with you in summer. I can't swim, but I can sit under the parasol and look at your clothes, drink grapefruit soda and read books. 7 1. I'll pretend not to notice the way your heart beats faster when you see that bikini girl-I'm glad you still have a young and healthy heart. 72. Drive to the supermarket seven kilometers away from work to bring you coconut milk chocolate from Ivory Coast. 73. Take a pot of hot chocolate to go skiing in winter. Call your college classmates and tell them that you can't attend the alumni party because you hurt your knee while skiing (in fact, you fell in Bath Harbor). 75. Put it down and start laughing. 76. You will say "taxi" as "coarse pig car" and "good night" as "safe bend". Now that I say so, it's your turn to laugh. 77. For me, a life of laughter is often a luxury. 78. So I don't have to wear a diamond ring of more than 3 carats to feel happy. There is no need to fly to Paris every season to follow the fashion. 80. I like to choose vegetables and fresh fish and shrimp for dinner with you in the street market, eat an ice cream and walk home slowly. 8 1. Do you like asparagus? No problem, you can eat ten meals in a row. 82. I planted a pot of lemon mint to ensure that you have frozen honey mint tea to quench your thirst all summer; Love your favorite glutinous rice strawberries, and cover each one to prevent sparrows from stealing them. 83. I will never scold you for the mud footprints you brought back to the living room, because those footprints were brought back to you. 84. Actually, you are just a child. 85. But you want three children? Hehe, all right. I hope there is at least one boy, because I want to see you grow up again. 87. No, I don't think it's hard to have children-but if children make you angry in the future, I will take the lead in scolding them. 88. Never criticize you in front of them. When we have children, we should also have private time. For example, we can play gobang quietly in the dentist's waiting room. 90. Of course, you also have children's day gifts. 9 1. Back to the new coat, I'll cut the logo on the inside of the neckline for you first (I can cut all the clothes without breaking). As for your old shirt, I can wear it to clean the glass. 93. I can make a strawberry out of the small hole in your cotton slippers. 94. Take the dark silk left over from sewing cheongsam to a handmade suit shop to make a tie for you, if you like. 95. I will always insist on mountain climbing, jogging and yoga, and strive to wear cotton and linen pants and a white shirt when I am 35 years old. 96. It is said that after a year of love, men are often distracted. Really? 97. So if one day you say you want to go out for a walk alone, I won't ask why. 98. Whenever you come back, as I said, it's just a meal. 99. I know that love will not be passionate forever, because it is not a student movement; Not necessarily need too many languages, because it is not a speech; It doesn't have to be the same as others', because this is not a standard contract ... I never doubt when you say you love me, even if you don't love me, I don't doubt it. I haven't taken it off since you put it on me that day. I find that when I feel nervous or uncomfortable on some occasions, I secretly turn the wedding ring on my left hand-psychologists say this is because this ring represents the person I trust and rely on most in the world. When I go out alone, I will write you postcards in coffee shops in every strange city. It's not that I can't enjoy life alone, but that without you, the most beautiful scenery and delicious food in the world seem a little melancholy. Do you know my definition of a happy woman? I have been to many places in my life, but I always sleep next to someone. There is no reason to call you during your work break, just to listen to your voice; And I, no meeting will be so important that I can't answer you. No one is important enough for me to cheat you. I never believed that you would cheat me. Your romantic history has become our common secret, hehe ... your name is written on the insurance policy. If you lose your job, I can support my family. Home is a good place, of course, you can throw your socks next to dental floss. You forgot to put down the toilet seat after urinating for many years ... you can continue to do so in the future. Without your snoring, I will lose sleep. If you have nightmares, I will gently call your name and hold you in my arms. When I meet turbulence in the air, you hold my hand, and I am not afraid. You're cooking, and I'm not worried about washing vegetables and washing out bugs. I will quietly smell the warm smell of your clothes before washing them-even the sportswear you wear to play ball. If that's your dream, it's not funny. Anyway, of course I'm on your side. I am nearsighted, not presbyopia. Let me cut your nails every week after you are 60. You can soak your dentures in my water glass in the future. Be your woman in the afterlife.