Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Ask for a joke that can make girls happy. (If you are good, you can add points as appropriate)

Ask for a joke that can make girls happy. (If you are good, you can add points as appropriate)

1 1=? One day, the teacher asked Xiao Min, "What is 1 1?" He said, "I don't know." "Ask your family." The teacher said. Xiao Min came home and asked his mother, "How much is/kloc-0?" Mother said impatiently, "Get out! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! "Mandy went to ask dad again. Dad was watching the ball game and just scored a goal. "Cool! ! ! ! "He went to ask his brother who was in love and said to his girlfriend on the phone," I'll wait for you downstairs. " The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Min, "What is 1?" He said, "Get out! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! "The teacher slapped him. He said, "Cool! ! ! ! ! ! "The teacher said," Get out! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! "Xiao Min said," I'll wait for you downstairs! ! ! "

Birthday present When my wife had her birthday, her husband bought her a pair of jewelry. After seeing this priceless jewel, his wife said, "Honey, wouldn't it be more affordable if you bought me a Mercedes?"

"Yes," the husband blurted out, "it's a pity that Mercedes-Benz is not fake!"

It is not suitable for children. Tom always listens to his father's story before going to bed. .....

Dad: "Once upon a time, there was a frog ..."

Tom: "Dad, I don't want to listen to fairy tales today. Can I tell science fiction stories? "

Dad: "Well, in space, there is a frog ..."

Tom: "Forget it, Dad, in order to celebrate my eighth birthday, can we talk about the restricted level?"

Dad: "All right! Don't let your mother know. There is a frog with no clothes on ... "

"The girl I like should be as talented as Daiyu, as sensible as Baochai, as beautiful as Ke Qing, as generous as Xiangyun, as loyal as Li Wan, as capable as Tanchun, as smart as Xifeng, and as blessed as Yuan Chun, hehe ..." "But I don't like girls who are as fragile as Daiyu, as selfish as Baochai, as romantic as Ke Qing and as ignorant as Xiangyun.

I have one of my biggest dreams: in the last round of Serie A in 20**, it was a game in which Inter Milan won the championship and Juventus were relegated if they lost ... At the last moment of the game, recoba received a pass from Vieri. At the offside 10 meter position, he first shook three defenders, then pushed down Juventus' goalkeeper, and finally scored the winning goal with his hand ... In the cheers of the audience, I The lovely President Moratti is our witness, and 80,000 Inter Milan fans at the San Siro lit candles together in the rainstorm to bless us. ...

Romance without money, I can hold your hand and stroll on the beach covered with white sand;

1 yuan romance, I can call and care about you next to the deserted public phone booth;

1Romance in 0 yuan, I can buy a popsicle to cool you off in hot summer;

100 yuan romance, I can buy a copy of Kanto to warm your palm on a cold night;

Romantic 1000 yuan, I can go shopping with you to buy clothes you like;

10000 yuan romance, I can buy you a mobile phone, so that we can have a happy voice and stereo.

God gave me a brain-so I thought; God gave me feet, so I ran; God gave me ten fingers, so I went online. After thinking about it, I ran to the Internet. ...

Tutu said, "My mother calls me Tutu, which is nice!" "

The pig said, "My mother calls me a pig, which is nice!" " "

The dog said, "My mother calls me a puppy, which is nice!" " "

The chicken said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "

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The rabbit said, "I am a rabbit!" " "

The pig said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "

The chicken said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "

The dog said, "you talk, I'll go first!"

No.0 sparring partner said, "outsiders call me zero sparring partner, which is nice!" "

No.65438 +0 sparring partner said, "It's good to have an outsider!"

No.2 sparring partner said, "It's good for outsiders to call me the second escort!"

No.3 sparring partner said, "You talk, let's go first!"

How to tell the authenticity of RMB?

Prepare 100 yuan. Fold in half and then fold in half, put it on the ground and step on it n times. Pick it up and see if the people above have nosebleeds. If it is, it is true. If not, it's fake.

Part I: It's windy and rainy. I am waiting for your call back. Bottom line: live for you, die for you, and wait for you all your life. Horizontal batch: sent to the wrong person.

One day, the devil took the princess away, and the princess kept calling for help.

Demon: You can scream loudly, and no one will come to save you!

Princess: Broken throat! Throat is broken!

Nobody: Princess, I'm coming to save you!

Devil: Speak of the devil!

Cao Cao: Devil, what do you want me to do?

Demon: Wow! I saw a ghost!

Ghost: Oh ~ It's been discovered!

Ha: Nonsense, who found me?

Who: It's none of my business!

Demon: Oh ~ my God!

God: Who called me? ?

Who: Nobody called you!

Nobody: I didn't! !

It is said that the demon king suffered from schizophrenia ~ ~ ~ ~

Marketer: Kid, do you have any dogs, kittens, rabbits or birds at home?

Child: No, my mother gave birth to me!

Q: What animal is the best?

A: Pigs, because pigs (pearls) are experts.

Q: What animal sticks to the wall most easily?

A: Sea (newspaper) leopard

Q: What happens when a fat man falls from 12 floor?

fat person

Q: Who will help you eat when you are full?

A: Feilong, because Feilong is added in units of (days).

Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and then died. How did he die?

A: He suffocated because there was no telephone pole to pee in the desert.

Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole, but it was still suffocated. Why?

A: There is a sign on the dotted pole, which says "No peeing here".

Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. Nothing stuck to it, but it was stuffy. Why?

A: Many puppies are waiting in line.

Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. There is nothing posted on it, and there is a queue. The result is still suffocating. Why?

A: Because there are two beautiful dogs MM behind him, he is very embarrassed.

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

What happened to a rabbit in the company?

The first company