Who has a super funny joke?

1. Female: Let's break up. M: Why? W: The exam is over, so there is no need to grab a place in the library. Man: Oh, but I have two train tickets for Spring Festival travel rush. Woman: I hate it. In fact, people are joking with you. . .

2. The college exam is too easy! Where you won't take the exam ...

3. One day, there will be a person who will read all the states you have written, all the logs you have written, all the photos you have taken since childhood, and even go to other places to find information about you, try to listen to the songs you have heard, go to the places you have walked, read your favorite books, and taste the delicious things you always shout for ... just want to make up for your youth-he or she is late.

Xiaoming was not good at math and was transferred to a missionary school by his parents. Six months later, I got straight A's in math. Mother asked, "Is the nun teaching well? Is it a good textbook? Is it a prayer? " "Neither," Xiao Ming said. "On the first day of school, I saw a person nailed to the plus sign, and I knew ... they were serious. . . "

Can you take me from my wife to my old woman? . .

Honey, I can't eat any more. . ""good ~ eat more, eat fat and cute. "

7. At that moment, you finally found that the person you loved had disappeared in this world as early as the day you said goodbye. Love and yearning in my heart are just memories. I think, some things can be forgotten, some things can be remembered, some things can be willingly, and some things are powerless. I love you, and this is my disaster. -Annie, baby, "teaching assistant"

8. A boy broke up and cried. God appeared and asked him, why are you so sad? The boy said: She left me. God asked: Do you still love her? The boy nodded heavily. God asked again: Does she still love you? The boy thought about it and cried again. God smiled and said, then she is the one who should cry. You just lost someone who didn't love you, and she also lost someone who loved her deeply.

9. I talked to my colleagues about the house price at noon yesterday. I also said: the house price is so expensive now, if I have a piece of land, I will really develop it! He said: If you have a piece of land, I will recognize you as michel platini at once! Just after reading it, the little girl at the front desk called me: XX~ You have a courier! . . . Later, my adopted son refused to talk to me all afternoon.

10. Cold joke: Yesterday, I went to the marriage agency to register for marriage, and my aunt asked me to fill out the marriage application. After thinking for a long time, I raised two points: women and being alive. Aunt took one look and said coldly, you are not young, so you need to be so Gao Qian.

1 1. Cold joke: I am glad to be born in such a family now. Even if I am not the second generation of rich second generation, my parents have given me the best life I can. Maybe I can't afford the latest electronic products and so-called luxury goods, but I also have enough money to go out and not sell myself for a coat. Compared with some people who spend their parents' money but look down on others, I would rather try to change my life. (

12. Cold joke: In the review class before the exam, the teacher came into the classroom and said, "Students, this year the school stipulated not to draw key points. Do you know? " With that, there was a deep sigh. The teacher said, "OK, now please take out your books and let's draw an irrelevant line."

13. Cold joke: happiness: start at 8 o'clock and sleep until 12 o'clock; Turn over 5 pages every day, run for 30 minutes, smile at 1 strangers, praise 1 people, and say 1 I love you; Have sex at least once a week 1 time; Monthly 1 progress; Travel every six months 1 time; See a dentist 1 time every year, and have a physical examination 1 time; At least 1 person is worthy of deep love; At least 1 idiot; At least 1 dreams have come true; Five calls will be interrupted late at night. .

14. I have an impulse to take a nap as soon as I get up in the morning. . . .

You can't lick all your teeth with your tongue. 2. All lovely and kind people are working hard when they read the first truth. The first fact is wrong. You are smiling, because you are also a lovely and kind person. You will soon forward this message to other lovely and kind people. 6. You still have a silly smile on your face. . . .

16. If your girlfriend can make you happy every day without losing your temper, making mistakes, then break up. She must not love you. . . .

17. No birds in Baishan are writing a summary; Looking up, I found it was moonlight, and bowed my head to write a summary; Life is an outstanding person, and death is also a summary; Looking at the cold mountain from a distance, the stone path is oblique, and the summary is written in the depths of white clouds; Sit up critically ill and write a summary today. No one has died since ancient times, and the afterlife continues to write a summary; But let Longcheng fly to see who dares not to write a summary; Looking for him in the crowd, I suddenly turned around and the man was writing a summary.

18. Mr. Chen took his daughter shopping and got separated. Mr. Chen looked around and heard the broadcast: "Chen XX, your mother is waiting for you at the service desk in 1 building. Please ... "Mr. Chen wondered why the child's name was the same as his own. My daughter was waiting there when I went to the first floor. Ask him, "Why don't you tell Mr. Chen XX that your daughter is waiting for you on the first floor?" My daughter said, "I'm afraid the bad guys will hear me pretending to be my parents and forcibly take me away ..."

19. Girl, please remember that all the men you have bitten are deeply loved by you, because there is such an emotion that you can't express with a kiss, and that is love.

20. Facing is not necessarily the most sad. Loneliness is not necessarily unhappy. It may not last long to get it. Lose, not necessarily no longer have. Don't love wrongly because of loneliness, and don't be lonely all your life because of wrong love.

2 1. A classmate's signature: Although I don't know what the textbook is talking about, I feel very powerful. . . .

Beggar: Give me some money. Sir: Here are your cigarettes. Beggar: No, give me some money. Sir: Do you have any wine to drink? Beggar: No sir: I took you to play mahjong to see you. Beggar: I don't gamble. Sir: I'll take you to the sauna. I'll pay. The beggar said, I don't go whoring Give me some money. The husband said, get on the bus and show my daughter-in-law: what has become of a good man who doesn't smoke, drink, gamble or prostitute?

23. There are not many people around us who can really pay attention to you. Therefore, we don't need to care about other people's comments, as long as we do our own thing well; Don't look at other people's eyes, just go your own way; There is no need to complain too much, it will make you live more tired. Don't please others blindly, and don't lose yourself wherever you go. I don't mind at all if you hate me. I don't live to please you. .

24. As the saying goes, Zhu Zhechi is near Zhu Zhechi. Actually, it's not your fault that you like eating. In the final analysis, it is because there are too many pigs around you. . . .

25. Buddha said that the person you hate will never see you again in the afterlife, so don't waste time on him or her; The person you love will never see you again in the next life, so be kind to him or her in this life. . . .

26. In this world, the ocean is the widest, the sky is wider than the ocean, and the "examination scope" is wider than the sky! ! ! .

27. I heard that universities don't fall in love, so they can only wait for blind date after work, then watch movies and get married after dinner. . .

Yesterday, at the subway station, a friend saw a father holding a big Doraemon doll and his son holding a small one. The son looked at his father with greedy eyes, and his father said, Good boy! Don't argue This is for your mother. . . Suddenly I feel warm and lifeless. . . .

29. Student: Teacher, what do you mean by adding words to your mouth? Teacher: What to read? The student looked blank: teacher, I don't know, that's why I asked you. Teacher: What's its pronunciation? Student: I really don't know what it says. Teacher, just hold your horses: you want to know what it reads, but you don't know what it reads and what it studies. The students looked blank. . . .

30. My wife often says that if one day she wins the lottery, she will never give me money again, get divorced immediately and move abroad. She doesn't know that I bought a lottery ticket with the same number as her for five years ... to see if she can still laugh then. . . .