"There is a big doll lying in the tree" is a joke. Who knows the original?

The teacher asked a child to use "occasionally" in class; (BH) "Occasionally"-There is a big occasional lying on the tree.

Another student wrote a composition to collect words. She wrote: "I went climbing in the morning, and the steps were very long." I climbed the first step, then the second step, then the third step, then the fourth step, then the fifth step, and then the seventh step ... "

One day, I praised a classmate in my class and said that he used this idiom well. Almost everyone used "green" in the composition handed in next. "There is a pot of green flowers in the corner of the classroom": "Dad took out a green glass": "She put on a green skirt, which is really green." A boy actually wrote: "I caught a cold these two days and my nose is green."

There are many other writers among my students. A quiet-looking girl wrote in the most memorable event: "My memory is a beautiful affairs box. Open it. There are many pearls in it. Every pearl is a memory of my childhood. " Then she wrote a story about how she tortured two chickens to death at her grandmother's house in the country when she was a child. Then: "For many years, every time I look back, there will still be a knowing smile on my face. I think this is the biggest and brightest of those pearls. "

Another boy wrote about a dog he kept. Later, the dog ate rat poison and was dying. When he arrived, he wrote in his composition: "I saw the puppy lying on the ground twitching and looking at me with godless eyes, as if to say," Little master, I'm leaving. You should study hard for me! My soul in heaven will bless you to get 100 in every exam ... "

Another student's composition made me afraid to give marks. A 400-word composition has nothing to do with it. For example, the first sentence says that an uncle sells soybean milk in the street every morning, the second sentence says that many people row boats in the park, and the third sentence can write that the moon is like an egg yolk. So what I think seems to be a patchwork of dozens of sentences. I'm afraid no one can compare with China today because of its great leap in thinking. I will never allow myself to accidentally kill the seeds of a postmodern or stream-of-consciousness master in the cradle, so I gave it a "good" carefully.

Another student wrote this to make up the number: "I went climbing in the morning, and the steps were very long." I climbed the first step, then the second step, then the third step, then the fourth step, then the fifth step, and then the seventh step ... "

There is also a composition called "picky eaters", the full text is as follows:

"If you don't like to eat green vegetables, you will lack vitamins; If you don't like meat, you will be sallow and emaciated; If you don't like rice or noodles, you will have no energy; Do not like to eat drumsticks, can't run fast; If you don't like eggs, you are stupid; If you don't like to drink milk, you won't grow tall; If you don't like smoking and drinking, your wife must be very strict; If you don't take tonic, you may have no money; If you don't eat wild animals, you are an environmentalist. There are still many dangers of picky eaters. If you don't like anything, compare it with the last paragraph. "

After a long comparison, I found that I am actually an environmentalist who is sallow and emaciated, can't run fast, has no money and has a powerful wife.

In fact, my favorite composition is Tomb Sweeping, and the author's innate sense of humor impressed me deeply. After a long time, I can recite many jokes: "On April 5th, the annual Tomb-Sweeping Day came, and I went to visit the grave with golden sunshine and birdsong. There are so many people there! Usually no one comes at all, but today farmers and vendors come to "set up stalls". I saw some selling socks, some selling cards, some selling food and drinks, and some selling pirated CDs and books. After shopping for a while, I felt too crowded, so I came out to eat a pot of cold rice noodles. A pot of cold noodles has a large amount of rice, but some children can eat more. For example, Xiaoding, a classmate, eats three meals a day: one (breakfast), one (lunch) and one (dinner). I suspect that he is a Guinness World Record. However, a girl wrote in her diary: There are many people around my house who have dogs and have no public morality. I just came out from home this morning and saw a pile of shit pulled by some wild dog at the door. I was shocked. "

But the composition that makes me speechless most is written like this:

"This year is 3004, and I have lived for another one hundred years. The world has undergone earth-shaking changes. China has long been the most developed country in economy and technology.

I bought a space-time machine with 20 billion RMB. I want to travel in time. But according to the law, only the past is allowed, not the future time and space. I started crossing because I was not skilled in driving and it was millions of years ago. All I see are mountains, trees and erupting volcanoes. I have a bad feeling. I feel a lot of eyes staring at me in the back. They are discussing: "well, should this guy be roasted alive or cooked?" I was frightened, so I pulled my horsepower to the maximum and turned on a super fire. In this way, I accidentally hit a star, which made it deviate from its orbit and flew straight to the earth, leading to the extinction of dinosaurs. Maybe this is what I want to eat.

I flew to ancient times again. On the plane, I casually opened the Romance of the Three Kingdoms bought for 20 yuan. I accidentally dropped the book because I just broke the window on the plane. Finally, it was found by a man named Zhuge Liang. He recited all this book, which made him a famous strategist and won every battle because he already knew everything about the future. I flew to another country and was hungry on the way. I opened my schoolbag and saw an apple rotting inside, so I threw it down, which disturbed Newton who was studying hard. The apple fell on his head and inspired him to publish the theory of gravity of the earth.

I did three things wrong in this time of traveling through time and space, which is not allowed by law. The Earth Space-Time Station sued me and punished me for coming to this junior high school in 2004 in 2 1 century. I hope I can reflect deeply here. "

I think, as a teacher who has taught for several years, I should go back to school to study again.

Excerpts from some students' compositions

"A classmate's composition: I went out to play with my classmate XXX by bike. Suddenly, his car valve core was broken, so I took mine out and fitted it for him. Later, we rode home happily together.

When I was in primary school, I often wrote about good deeds, so someone always found money. It got worse and worse. In order to exaggerate my achievements, some students wrote in the park and found that 65.438+0 billion yuan, all of which were 654.38+00 yuan. The thickness is as thick as a document (level 4). I watched it on the spot, and that classmate trembled, too. ...

"Do you remember" Little Tadpole Looking for Mom "in primary school? I asked the students to imitate this and write a composition about someone. A classmate imitated it like this: My mother has a white belly and bulging eyes ... "

"A third-grade text is called A Corner of the Park, so I want my classmates to write a corner of my home. A classmate wrote: My horns are beautiful, round and bright. I go there twice a day. This is a toilet.

"I asked students to make sentences with the word' sure enough', and one of my classmates wrote: I haven't bathed for three months, and I really stink."

"When I was in primary school, I heard that wild donkeys run fastest, so a classmate compared his classmates to" He runs faster than wild donkeys "in his composition. Later I said, I shouldn't write like this. As a result, this classmate changed "Wild Donkey" into "Home Donkey". "

"A student's composition: I walked into a department store, ah! It seems that people's living standards have really improved. Look at that old farmer, holding a refrigerator in his left hand and a TV in his right, trotting home. "

There is an essay for a Chinese teacher. When introducing the teacher's appearance, it was originally a "teacher's face", but the students wrote it as a "teacher's paw face". I almost didn't go crazy. "

The teacher asked the students to make sentences with "more" ... more ... more ",and another student wrote: Anerle sanitary napkins are drier, fresher and more assured. "

Excerpts from some students' answers:

What is the second sentence of "clear water gives birth to hibiscus"?

Answer 1: the game writing protocol washes the silver gun. (This guy should be a fan of Gu Long's short stories)

Answer 2: Heroes are born in troubled times. (This classmate is verve. )

Question: Appreciation of Strange Books. What is the second half sentence?

A: Good wine tastes the same. Either you like to drink two glasses, or you watch too many advertisements.