There may be many jokes.

(1) A patient came to see a psychiatrist. Patient: I always thought I was a bird. Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start? Patient: Because I am a bird. (2) A doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient: If I cut off one of your ears. What will happen to you? The patient replied, then I can't hear you. The doctor listened: mm-hmm, it's normal. The doctor asked again, what will happen to you if I cut off your other ear again? The patient replied, then I won't watch it. The doctor is getting nervous. How could he not see it? The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off. (3) Two mental patients escaped from the hospital. They ran and climbed a tree. One of them jumped down from the tree, rolled and rolled, then looked up and said to the man above, hey-why don't you come down? The man above answered him: no! I haven't finished it yet. There is an old lady in a mental hospital who wears black clothes every day. She squatted at the gate of a mental hospital with a black umbrella. The doctor thinks: To cure her, we must start from understanding her, so the doctor also wears black clothes and squats with her. The two men were silent for a month. The old lady finally said to the doctor, are you a mushroom, too? (5) A mental hospital heard that the leader would come to the hospital to inspect the situation, and the dean called the patients in the hospital for a meeting. At the meeting, the dean said: "This afternoon, there are very important leaders coming to visit, and all the people will go to the door to meet them. When welcoming, all patients should stand on both sides of the hospital gate and stand neatly. When I cough, everyone should clap together. The warmer the better; When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready, we can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, no one will eat steamed buns, remember? " The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!" This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the welcoming patient was already standing at the door. At this time, with the dean's cough, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. The visiting leader was infected by the warm atmosphere and smiled. Everyone applauded and went to the hospital together. Seeing that the leader had entered the hospital, the dean stamped his foot and the applause stopped completely, very neatly. Only this leader is still smiling and clapping, and the dean is very satisfied. Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger jumped out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face and shouted angrily, "Don't eat steamed bread." (6) Mental patient A stole the phone book from the nurse's office and went back to the ward. Ask B, "What do you think of the novel I recently finished?" ? B looked at it and replied, "Not bad, but there are a little more people." At this time, the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You put the phone book back for me!" " (7) Doctors in mental hospitals should talk to mental patients who are about to leave the hospital to confirm whether the patients have fully recovered. Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital? Patient: smash all the windows in your hospital with stones. When the doctor heard this, he found that the patient had not fully recovered, so he decided to continue the treatment. A few months later, the doctor felt that the patient seemed ready to leave the hospital and decided to talk to him again. Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital? Patient: Get a job. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Making money. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Save money. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Marry a wife. Doctor: Then what? Patient: The bridal chamber. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Take off her clothes. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Take off her pants. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Take off her underwear. Doctor: Then what? Patient: Take out the rubber band in your underwear, make a slingshot and find some stones to smash all the windows in your hospital. (8) Two mental patients, A Jun and B Jun, recovered at the same time. Their doctor in charge said to them, "If one of you is ill, the other one will take him to the hospital immediately." Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang. It turned out to be Mr. A: "Oh, no, Mr. B has been crawling in my toilet since this morning. He insisted that he was my toilet. " "Quick, send him here quickly!" A gentleman was silent for a moment: "So … I don't have a toilet?" (9) In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day. One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?" The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted, "What's wrong with you? Didn't you see it was an empty fish tank? " (10) There is a mental hospital where many mental patients live. One day, the dean was there, and in order to see the patient's recovery, he thought of a way. I said to these patients, come here, draw a door on the wall and say, "Today, whoever opens this door can go home." As soon as psychopaths heard this, they flocked around the painted door. The dean was very disappointed. At this time, he found a patient still sitting in the original position, feeling ok. He stepped forward and asked, "Why don't you open the door?" He looked at what the dean said and made the dean laugh and cry. The patient secretly told the dean, "I have the key here." (1 1) Mental patients in hospitals often have a complex of worshipping doctors or nurses. One day, a female patient came to see a male doctor ... Female patient: Dr. Lan, do you love me? Dr. Lan thought for a long time, ie in order not to hurt the patient so as not to get worse. Dr. Lan: We have a doctor-patient relationship. Because you are ill, I must take good care of you ... (In order not to hurt the patient, Dr. Lan explained for a long time and finally finished). Female patient: Dr. Lan, you mean you don't love me anymore? Dr. Lan (puzzling over it): Hmm ... Hmm ... Female patient: Nothing ... I love Dr. Chen ...