Copy of happy joke

0 1. Many poor people will discuss which is more important, money or love. It's none of your business, okay?

02. Q: What creature has super arm strength, sharp nails and sharp teeth, and can tear up all hard and solid things? A: The girl when unpacking the courier.

The mother-in-law gave this cookbook to her daughter-in-law, with the intention of letting her learn to cook. As a result, the daughter-in-law was very shy and said to her mother-in-law: Mom, that's very kind of you. You are so tired every day, and you ask me to order for me. This is inappropriate!

04. I want to throw my girlfriend away every time I hear the announcement on the radio that "inflammable and explosive articles are not allowed on the train" at the railway station and bus station!

05. When I met my first boyfriend with his son, the atmosphere was awkward because I hadn't seen him for many years and there was no topic, so he took the lead in breaking the embarrassment and said, "I heard that you told people everywhere that I was dead."

06. I like Ghost Festival best. Speaking of Halloween, I can bid farewell to being single, because girls often say to me: Only ghosts want to be your girlfriend.

07. On average, one in every 365 people is celebrating their birthday, and suddenly I feel that the sprinkler is really creative in order not to offend people.

08. I looked through my wife's previous developments. When I first met her, she took a photo of us in a circle of friends. I remember this, but I was not good friends with her family at that time, so I couldn't see their comments. Now I can see them. At that time, my mother-in-law commented: middle and lower. Sister-in-law: I agree to go upstairs. Father-in-law: This boy seems to have ulterior motives!

09. I dreamed of quarreling with my boyfriend. He stopped answering his phone after he slammed the door, and I couldn't get in touch. So, I opened Taobao and kept shopping. A steady stream of credit card consumption text messages finally helped me call him back.

10. On the grounds of buying a car, a man goes to the Mercedes-Benz 4S shop for dinner on time every day, and the sales brother has no choice but to ask for help.

1 1. accompany your wife back to her parents' house. As soon as I entered the door, I heard my mother-in-law teaching my sister-in-law: "Can I have a snack when the boss is not young?" Don't you usually eat? Huh? Other girls are afraid of choking on water when they go on blind dates. When they eat two dishes, they say they are full. What about you? Come back to eat Jianweixiaoshi tablets. "

12. One of my college classmates worked in marketing for one year after graduation, and worked hard to be admitted to the civil service, and was assigned to the marriage registration office of the Civil Affairs Bureau. On the first day of work, I came early in the morning to register the newcomers. The man was very polite and gave me a pack of cigarettes and a pack of sugar. The students are very excited. They quickly went through the formalities, got up and shook hands and said politely, Welcome to come again next time.

13. Girls with thick fingers should not be sad. The gold ring from my boyfriend will be even bigger in the future!

14. The company asked for a photo, and someone handed in a two-inch photo. The supervisor said the photo was too big, so change it to a smaller one. Someone changed the photo and handed it in, and was scolded: "What do you mean by changing it to one inch?"

15. I watched the anti-Japanese drama at home yesterday. I asked my six-year-old niece, "Honey, do you know why there are two pieces of cloth in my helmet?" She glanced at me without thinking: "Uncle, you are so stupid. They must have designed these two pieces of cloth to prevent being slapped by the officer! " "

16. In the eyes of local tyrants, everything that can be solved with money is trivial, but I am different. I can't solve anything that can be solved with money.

17. I went to the supermarket with my colleagues the day before yesterday and said I hadn't bought meat for a long time, so I went to see pork. As a result, I saw that the cheapest pork was only 18 yuan. Colleagues exclaimed on the spot: "What happened to the pig? This is! " The butcher smiled and said, "The pig is fine, but the price has gone up."

18. I went to my sister's house today and saw my sister beating the child again. Me: Why did you hit the child? The child is so young, why did you hit him? Sister: He tricked Lao Shi into not going to class. Me: I can't call. You should educate him. Elder sister: He told Lao Shi that his uncle died and wanted to take time off to see him for the last time. Me: Sister, have a rest and let me do it!

19. Has anyone read the whole car manual? I've finished reading it, but I just need to buy a car.

20. My mother called me and asked: Son, have you been alone this Valentine's Day? I said, mom, will you stop it? Do you know how many people are chasing me? I still live alone? I work in batches every day, and I have to take time to eat with my family at night. My mother said, son, this is what my mother expects of you. No one can chase me, but she can still play.

2 1. I asked my husband, "If you were the emperor, what would you like to do most?" "You guess." "Three thousand beauties?" "No" "Twenty-two thousand gold?" "They are all wrong." Then he suddenly jumped up and ran and shouted, "Put you in the cold." Sister Ni, I don't want to mix.

22. What I admire most is the Tang Priest in Journey to the West, who doesn't have to take a bath by himself. Every two episodes, a monster says, boys, wash that monk clean.

23. Walking with my girlfriend, several gangsters blocked the road. I pretended to be calm and shouted at them, "What do you want? Do you know who I am? " Those punks asked, "Who are you?" I pointed to my girlfriend and said, "I love her the most in the world!" " "

24. When I was studying, the goddess said that I didn't like ribs, and I was muscular. The goddess said I don't like long hair, so I cut it short. The goddess said I don't like wearing glasses. I took off my glasses until one day, when I saw the goddess with a thin man wearing glasses and long hair, I realized that the goddess didn't like ugliness at all.