Who's going to tell a few jokes? It's too long. If you don't come, it's unhealthy. Keep it away.

(1)

A patient came to see a psychiatrist.

Patient: I always thought I was a bird.

Doctor: Oh, that's very serious. When did it start?

Patient: Since I was a little bird.

(2)

The patient replied: Then I can't hear.

The doctor listened: Mm-hmm. It's normal.

The doctor asked again: What will happen if I cut off your other ear again?

The patient replied: Then I can't see.

The doctor is getting nervous. How can I not see?

The patient replied: glasses will fall off.

(3)

Two mental patients escaped from the hospital.

They ran and climbed a tree.

One of them jumped off the tree.

Rolling and rolling.

Then he looked up and said to the person above: Hello-

the man above answered him: no-ok-ah-

I'm not familiar with it-

(4)

There is an old lady in a mental hospital.

Every day, she wears black clothes and holds a black umbrella.

She squats at the gate of the mental hospital.

The doctor thinks: To cure her, we must start by getting to know her.

So the doctor also wears black clothes and holds a black umbrella. They crouch there with her.

They don't say anything. ! ! !

(5)

A mental hospital heard that the leader was coming to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the dean called the patients in the hospital for a meeting. At the meeting, the dean

said, "This afternoon, there is a very important leader coming to visit, and everyone should go to the door to welcome him. When welcoming, all the patients should stand on both sides of the hospital gate and stand neatly. When I cough, everyone applauds. When I stamp my feet, I must stop completely, and I can't make a mistake. If everyone is ready, I can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, no one will eat buns, remember? "The patients in the audience shouted together:" Remember! "

This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the welcoming patients had already stood at the door. At this time, with the cough of the dean, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. The visiting leader was infected by the warm atmosphere, smiling, and applauded with everyone into the hospital. Seeing that the leader had entered the hospital, the dean stamped his foot and all the applause stopped. Very neat. Only the leader was still smiling and clapping, and the dean was very satisfied.

Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger came out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader, gave him a slap in the face, and shouted angrily-"You don't want to eat steamed buns?" ! ! ! "

(6)

A mental patient asked B," What do you think of the novel I recently finished?

B looked at it and replied, "It's not bad. However, there are a little more people."

At this moment, the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You put the phone book back for me!"

(7)

Psychiatric patients in hospitals often have an affection for doctors or nurses.

One day, a female patient came to a male doctor ...

Female patient: Dr. Lan, do you love me?

Dr. Lan pondered for a long time (in order not to hurt the patient so as not to worsen his condition)

Dr. Lan: We have a doctor-patient relationship. Because you are sick, I have to take good care of you ...

(In order not to hurt the patient, Dr. Lan explained for a long time and finally finished)

Female patient: Dr. Lan, do you mean that you don't love me?

Dr. Lan (struggling for silence): Mm-hmm ... Mm-hmm ...

Female patient: It's okay ... I love Dr. Chen ...

(8)

Two mental patients, A Jun and B Jun, are recovering at the same time. Their attending doctor said to them, "If one of you is ill, the other one will be ill at once.

Mr. A was silent for a moment and said, "So ... I don't have a toilet?"

(9)

In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day.

One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?"

The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted, "What's wrong with you? Can't you see it's an empty fish tank?"

(1)

There is a mental hospital where many mental patients live.

One day, the dean there thought of a way to see the recovery of the patients. He said to these patients,

You all came over and drew a door on the wall, saying, "Today, whoever opens this door can go home."

He looked at the dean and said something, which made him laugh and cry.

The patient secretly told the dean, "I have the key, so they can't go out, hehe."