A joke about monkeys and dogs

1. The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath.

I am in Jianghu, but there are no legends about me in Jianghu. ...

It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for X years!

4. Live in bed, die in bed, want to live and die, and stay in bed.

5. Wizard, please tell the princess that I'm still on my way, and there are snow-capped mountains, rivers, dragons and beautiful women ... tell her to go back to sleep!

Don't worry, I don't even have an appetite when I see you, let alone talk about sexual desire!

7. If the morning comes later, I think I will like it.

8. Zi said in Sichuan, "How nice it is to have a boat!"

9. Love at first sight, then decline, and finally run out.

10. I'm so poor now that I have to bargain for going to the public toilet, and I have to wait for change to give alms to beggars!

1 1. Hope for the stars, the moon and the sun.

12. Through the research of several academicians of Chinese Academy of Sciences, it is proved that the real king is ... the road in the palace!

13. Hand over your washbasin! Grandpa, I want to wash my pants.

14. Now you must look more carefully when looking for someone, because there are too many men and women now!

15. If I become a star one day, I will definitely show it to you!

16. Call me a villain and I'll kill you!

17. It seems that your head was hit by a train, and you woke up.

18. The poorest men don't bargain when they buy food, and the richest women bargain when they buy food.

19. Yesterday, someone asked me if the mayor of Nanjing was called Jiangqiao, and I saidno. He said that when I was crossing the river by train in Nanjing, I saw a billboard saying: Welcome to Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge!

20. In fact, I envy Furong JJ, living in my own world, being happy and disgusting to others.

2 1. Don't wash it, but for the mud, this broken car would have fallen apart.

22. Epitaph: wash and sleep, burn paper to contact; Please don't spit or poop here. If you are in a hurry, you can go to the grave of the landlord next to you. I used to be a fat man, and now I'm as thin as a lying person! ; Remember to burn me some beautiful pictures during the Spring Festival.

23. I was challenged to say, bring it on. I didn't answer, I just rushed over and then Monday morning quarterback knocked him down.

24. I will be reborn as a woman in my next life and then marry a man like me.

25. I can't fly, no matter for whom.

26. I wandered into his life unintentionally, but he has been wandering in his own life.

27. Now the price of shopping malls is robbery without knives ... It's too expensive ... If you continue, it's time to learn how to use sewing machines ... do it yourself. ..

28. Prices should be in line with international standards and wages should be in line with China's national conditions.

29. Trains get up so fast, I wonder how fast they will get up and run!

30. I will never hit you with meat buns again.

3 1. Congratulations, people all over the world believe in Islam, so you can live in peace!

32. I saw a sign in the toilet of a steakhouse next to Wu Guang that said "You can only pee here, absolutely not, uh-huh-poor waiter", so I laughed ~

33. Standing in front of a nude painting in the school art exhibition, I kept telling myself, "This is art, and I am aesthetic." But the excellent performance of a certain part of my body betrayed me.

34. Five women take a bath and ten men peek. (to use an idiom)-colorful.

35. A pig stepped onto the stage, took a breath and then went down. A cow stepped onto the stage, took a deep breath and then went down; A sheep stepped onto the stage and went down without doing anything. (idiom)—

36. Which cartoon character likes to help others best?

-Robot Cat Because he always lends a helping hand.

37. Who keeps Xiaoming's bear? A Xiaoming B Mom C Dad D Grandpa E Grandma

Answer e because grandma's bear

38. What animal shows are free?

Centipede will not be rewarded for its reactive power.

39. What animal is only three inches?

Snakes, because of their golden mouths (snakes)

40.20 years ago, my father held you waiting for the bus. Everyone laughed at the ugly child, and my father cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, big brother, give the monkey a banana!" " ! Poor thing, I'm so hungry that I have no hair. "

4 1 .. which country has the thinnest people?

China because of China life insurance (thin)

42. I swear to cancel all previous vows from now on! I swear I will never swear again!

43. I just registered a user named "Dad" on a website. As a result, he sent me an email. At first, I was dumbfounded. It says: Hello, Dad. Your user name has been successfully registered! I ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

44. Stupid birds fly first, and stupid pigs get fat first.

You are so fucking strong-! You are so fucking strong! )

Recently, even the poor mouse moved home in tears. ...

47. If there is an afterlife, be a tree and stand in eternity without a sad or joyful gesture. Half is peaceful in the dust, half is flying in the wind, half is cool, and half is bathed in the sun. Very silent, very proud, never dependent, never expecting.

48. Heaven, earth and Dou E are more unfair than me!

49. If you do this again in the future, don't blame me for being inhuman!

50. I bought meat buns on the road yesterday, but I didn't see meat at the first bite, and I didn't see meat at the second bite! The third stuttering steamed stuffed bun! ! !

5 1. The real warrior dares to face the balance of the bank card and the figures on the weighing scale.

52. I will have a son with a handsome name in the future, so others will say: what a handsome father! !

You will never attract wolves by singing, really-you will only scare them away.

54. Wang Cai, come and see, there are others who are not as good as you!

55. Life is different with red bean paste.

56. Thousands of years of invisibility, thousands of years of diving, and occasional floating bodies.

57. Men want to be tall, women want to be thin, dogs wear clothes, and people show their meat …

58. I have degenerated, and I can't swim until now. You know, before I was born, I was definitely the fastest swimmer …

Are you hungry? I have cold granules here! Do you want a drink?

60. It doesn't matter if you are tired!

6 1. Your looks are not bad, your figure is not bad, your personality is not bad, your career is not bad, your friends are not bad, and your life is not bad now. There is nothing to blame, so I call you a rogue for short!

62. Why don't women wear the same perfume, so that my sheets can be changed without meeting! !

63. Cherish life and stay away from urban management!

64. Men are reliable, so I want to be reliable; And women are lovely, so you should be lovely, miss.

65. Some parents act as if they have no children; Some children act as if they have no parents.

66. Is the visit to the United States a special gain? B: Yes! Americans have a high level of English! Even children can speak English!

67. Before you went to see a doctor, the doctor told you not to panic and have a rest. I'm seeing a doctor now. The doctor says I'm seriously ill. I'm afraid you don't panic. Send the money to the hospital!

68. Do you know why city people like flying kites now? Because there are no cattle and sheep to put.

69. Loneliness means that no one is listening when someone is talking; You have nothing to say when someone is listening!

70. Bathing is a blessing to the ass and a pain to the head; Watching movies is a blessing on the head, but a pain on the ass. Listening to leaders' speeches is a pain on the head and a pain on the ass.

7 1. The crowd searched for him for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, the man still disdained me …

The thief who stole my wallet opened it and saw only five dollars. He cried and sighed, "It's not easy!" .

73. It is said that after the earliest Christians finished praying, four people made concluding remarks. One said Amen, one said money, one said a tree, and guess what the other said? (vines. )

74. Plant you in a flowerpot to let you know what vegetables are …

75. Life is very chaotic; Feelings, very empty and looking forward to; Money is rarely in short supply; The stock market is very green and painful; Rumors, very accurate and timely; Someone, stupid and naive!

76. Red beans don't grow in the south, they grow on my face. I really miss them!

You forced me to add a verb between your mother and me!

78. Being rich is not necessarily talented, having a stomach is not necessarily delicious, sexual happiness is not necessarily happy, and sincerity is not necessarily true.

79. Someone asked me when history came into being. I said, with shit, there is history. That person said the most classic sentence in the world: Since there was shit …

80. A large population is a difficult problem ~ If homosexuality is legal … there will be fewer people!

8 1. Money is a bastard. It's easier to use than to earn … some people are willing to be bastards for money, …

82. The world is too big for me to search all over Qian Shan. The world is too small for me to meet you on the street corner in a blink of an eye. A thousand words can be summed up in one sentence: dude, it's time for you to pay back the money!

83. Smoke knows the loneliness of hands! Wine knows the loneliness of the throat!

84. After graduating from a master's degree, I entered the talent market and found that we are all big (very old) white (or stupid) vegetables (poor rookie).

85. Being young means being completely forgiven, being completely funny and destructive, being in trouble is a patent, being excellent is a stunt, and being complete by talent and destiny. In short, never be quiet.

In order to find my prince, should I kiss all the frogs in the world …

M: I like you very much. I really like you. May I kiss you? Woman: shameless! Man: Then I'll kiss you.

88. I am used to the end of the world: a dozen friends have dinner. Just up the stairs on the second floor, I saw a man holding a pregnant woman downstairs. The buddy who walked in front quickly gave way to the side and turned around and said, "Stay in formation downstairs!" "

89. The company had a physical examination years ago and reported it. One of my male colleagues was holding a report over there and asked everyone in surprise: "I am a man, how can it be all negative?"

90. I am not handsome on the surface, but I am underwear (cool inside)

9 1. Once I borrowed money from someone, I wanted to say "I'll pay you back when I get the money", but I ended up saying "I'll call you when I have money".

92. I want to eat when I'm bored, but the more I eat, the more boring I get!

93. At first glance, you are not so good; The second time, it's better to be fierce.

94. No tigers in Shaanxi, no trains in Changsha, no coal mines in Shanxi, no social security in Shanghai, no rainstorm in Jinan, no station in Guangzhou and no computer repair in Hong Kong.

95. The generation gap is that I asked my father: What do you think of the chrysanthemum table? Dad thought about it and said, no!

96. Turtles drink a lot of wine. One day, they were drunk. A friend asked: How can you get drunk? The tortoise replied, Alas, the octopus's grandson is going to fight me. Damn, he can't see with so many hands. What a terrible loss!

97. Bad guys can't be caught today, but they will be caught tomorrow. If we don't catch them tomorrow, the bad guys will become good guys.

98. Even in second time around, cracks still exist. This puzzle can be put back because it has cracks.

99. I like to use my ears as well as my eyes. You can cover your ears when you like. When I love it, I will cry even if I close my eyes!

100. When I love you, flowers gather honey for bees; When I don't love you, I am like a bee giving flowers a needle!

10 1. Whose daughter-in-law is Rong Rong?

102. In kindergarten, rest meals are distributed. The teacher told the children to wash their hands before eating. A child asked: Why wash your hands first? A: Idiot! Washing is healthier!

103. Summer is a season to show women's charm and expose men's nature …

104. The class teacher came into the classroom angrily and said to the students, I will put up with it if you call me Zhang from China. Why do you call the new political teacher Fan a political prisoner?

105. People of a tribe in Africa don't wear underwear. White people tell them that underwear is clean and warm, and they all wear it, but they don't know to take off their pants when defecating. Look back at the ground after defecation, it's really clean!

106. A: I live downstairs. I'm crazy. I still knock on my door in the middle of the night. What about you? Psycho, who cares about him? Keep singing our songs!

107. In the morning, as soon as the computer repairman went to work, a customer angrily asked for a keyboard change: a key was missing! Let me check it carefully: just right. What key is missing? "Any key!"

108. Mom: "You are eight years old. You don't need your mother's company. Go to sleep by yourself! " Child: "Dad is so old, why do you sleep with him?"

109.4 when the child saw the frog jump, he jumped like this frog, jumped a few times, stood up and said, I am so tired! ! ! It's hard to be a frog, jumping like this every day.

1 10. My first goal: Bill Gates lent me money; The second goal: to pay off the money that Bill Gates lent me; The third goal: lend money to Bill Gates!

1 1 1. A person called the radio station to order songs: I didn't get a ticket, so I couldn't go home for the New Year. The host asked him who he wanted to order a song for. He said: I ordered "You are malicious" and gave it to all ticket sellers …

1 12. In Chinese class, the female teacher asked, "How do you pronounce soft pinyin? ! "The boys shouted," The day is over ... soft! " Teacher: "Your boys' pronunciation is not standard, please ask the female students to supplement their answers!" " "Female students replied in unison:" I will be soft at the end of the day! " The head teacher said, "No, the correct pronunciation is Friday night ... soft!" " The headmistress said, "No, it's Friday night." ... I'm soft! " "

1 13. Eat wild vegetables at home if you have no money; If you have money, eat wild vegetables in the hotel …

1 14. Adult: Do you know why your mother gave birth to you instead of your father? Child: Because mom has maternity leave and dad doesn't!

1 15. The prisoner was shot. Because the bullet was fake, the gun didn't even go off. The prisoner cried and said, "Brother, strangle me. This is so fucking scary. "

1 16. I always have insomnia. I can't sleep without counting N sheep every night, and I always meet a wolf on the way. One day, A lost sleep again, and B in the lower berth handed me a knife. Why? Kill the wolf!

1 17. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight-at the graduation job fair, someone said to him, "Sorry, buddy, you blocked my cell phone signal."

1 18. Monkey-dog marriage. On the wedding night, the monkey groom asked the bride: What do you like about me and choose to marry me? The dog bride said shyly, it is not for the sake of children's humanity!

1 19. The hardest thing to break in the world is affection, the hardest thing to find is love, the hardest thing to return is human feelings, the hardest thing to find is friendship, the hardest thing to separate is affection, the hardest thing to feel is ruthlessness, and the most unforgettable thing is the expression of your stool.

120. Two flies argued endlessly about where to spend their honeymoon after marriage. Finally, the male fly took the map of the world and decided to travel around the world for 80 days. The mother fly nodded, attached: Shenzhouxing, I think so, too!

12 1. Women stop talking about youth after 25, stop talking about youth after 35 and stop talking about beauty after 40. But women can talk about beauty forever.

122. The female orangutan has been worried about her husband since she married the male orangutan. One day, she saw the golden monkey come down from the tree and shouted, Stop, who are you trying to seduce by dyeing your hair?

123. I have a left dragon and a right white tiger, and Mickey Mouse is tattooed on my shoulder! !

124. Just graduated: Brothers, see you soon; One year after graduation: brother, and a wife in the future; Later: brothers, regret marrying a wife; Later: brothers, there will be a stepmother; Finally: Brothers, regret marrying the second wife.

125. Many colleagues were taking a nap at work on Monday morning. When the boss saw this, he couldn't help feeling: "We rested for two days at the weekend, and now everyone is very tired ..."

126. The boss patted the basketball: You are Tuoshi, I ate you today!

127. My wife came home from playing mahjong at 0: 00 in the morning. In order not to disturb her husband, she took off her clothes in the living room and went into the bedroom. It happened that her husband woke up and saw great anger: "Too much, you have nothing!" "

128. I kicked a child on the road to prove that I am not a pedophile ~ I flirt with a good woman to prove that I am not gay ~

129. Don't say that women live too realistically if men don't have skills, and don't say that men live too playboy if women don't have strength …

130. My son told me today: Dad, it's really annoying to interrupt the TV series in TV commercials. Fortunately, the time is not long.

13 1. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind …

132. The sign of an immature man is that he is willing to die bravely for a certain cause, and the sign of a mature man is that he is willing to live humbly for a certain cause …

133. It is the enemy who is sad and happy for you; It is friends who are happy for your happiness; Those who grieve for your sorrow are the ones who should be kept in their hearts.

134. Modern women: I wear a little in winter and three in summer …

135. Ducks and crabs race and reach the finish line together. It's hard to say who is the winner. The referee said, a pair of scissors, stone and cloth! Duck is furious: damn it, count me in. I always cloth when I go out, and he always scissors.

136. I want a lot of love. Without love, there is a lot of money. If there is neither, it is good to have health.

137. Spend more time with your family after retirement ... Family affairs, state affairs, and everything in the world, family affairs will affect the whole body!

138. God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made my heart ache and made my bones and muscles tired.

139. In high school, everyone has a name tag. Before a ward round, the class teacher ran to the classroom and shouted, put on your bra and come to ward round … The whole room was silent …

140. The fault is a temporary regret, but the miss is a permanent regret!

14 1. Men deepen their friendship because of alcohol and tobacco, while women deepen their friendship because of complaints.

142. The teacher likes to devote himself to this topic ... "My bottom radius is 20 cm, and my height is 50 cm, so I ..." Someone below said "I'm a fool ..." The whole class burst into laughter. ...

143. On Valentine's Day, I was eating noodles alone in a restaurant, and I heard a song-ordering program on the radio saying, "A gentleman ordered songs for all lovers to express his blessing. Please listen to the following Silent Ending. " ..... I feel very sorry, people can live without love, but they can't be shameless, so I also called and ordered a song "Happy Break Up" by Fish Leong.

144. Nine words for a happy life: hope, work, love …

145. If you call your boyfriend (husband) (pager, mobile phone), it is completely unnecessary to call again if the line is busy (no one answers), you don't return, and your phone is turned off (out of service). Because ruining other people's happy time is really a bad thing, and the key is to embarrass yourself.

146. Eyes are not small, but eyelids are heavy …

147. I'm not a boring person, but I don't necessarily have anything to say to you. It's up to you!

148. Earn the money of migrant workers and live a petty-bourgeois life! I wonder if I don't know the budget. I was shocked at the budget!

149. Japanese dramas are grovelling; Korean dramas pour out; Hong Kong dramas are fabricated; Continental drama is really good, but worse.

150. Half the troubles in life are because you speak too fast and not too slowly.

15 1. The beautiful girl proposed to the old man. Old man: Are we suitable? Girl: There is no age difference in marriage law. Old man: What does that stipulate? Girl: the right to inherit her husband's property.

152. Why did I send you a message? Because I don't want to see you. Why don't I want to see you? Because I dare not look at your face. Why can't I look at your face? Because I just threw up yesterday.

153. Boys are poor, otherwise they don't know how to struggle; Girls eat well, or they will be coaxed away by a piece of cake.

154. When the night was put in bed again during the day, the sun was born. ...

155.5-year-old daughter asked her father to do something for her. Dad: "Dad is very tired. Give me a compliment, and I will be refreshed again. " Daughter: "Lao Zheng!" Dad: "Hey!" Daughter: "Your Niu Niu is really beautiful ..."

156. Xiao Fang, a kindergarten teacher, pointed to the children on the blackboard to test M, A, Y, D and B. The children said in the most standard pronunciation: "Touch -A- Auntie-De-Bo ~ ~".

157. Why did the child run away when he walked to the door of the "Friends and Friends Snacks" store?

158。 Garfield said: I don't really want to eat, but my mouth wants to move.

Annie Baby said: At that moment, you finally found that the person you once loved had disappeared in this world as early as the day you left. Love and yearning in my heart are just memories. I think, some things can be forgotten, some things can be remembered, some things can be willingly, and some things are powerless. I love you, and this is my disaster.

Sun said: I missed passing by.

Rao Xueman said: There is a wall in your heart. You can see heaven if you push it away.

Rao Xueman said: In a very old saying, if he is a fire, then I am a reckless stupid moth.

Han Han said: No matter how tired and bitter you are, you should treat yourself as 250. No matter how difficult or dangerous you are, you should treat yourself as a two-faced person.

Thousands of books is not as good as Wan Li Road, and Wan Li Road is not as good as countless people. It is better to read countless people than to instruct famous teachers. It's better to know for yourself.

Not every sentence of sorry can be changed into nothing!

I just found out that the way to attract a man is to make him not get it; The way to attract a woman is just the opposite, that is, to satisfy her.

Pull out the guy who said "time is the best medicine" and shoot him, because it doesn't work after my own experiments.

Loneliness is an addiction that you can't quit.

A person has only one heart, but two atria. A happy life; A person lives in sadness. Don't laugh too loudly, or you will wake up the sadness next to you.

Me: "Boss, give me a bowl of shredded rice noodles with green peppers, more green peppers, more shredded pork and more rice noodles."

Boss: "That's not two bowls ..."

When you are embraced by failure, success may be waiting to kiss you.

What money can buy is worthless in the end.

Crazy people with mental disorders are not terrible. What is terrible is a madman with normal mind.

Facts have proved that feelings can stand the wind and rain, but they can't stand the dullness; Friendship can stand the dull, but it can't stand the wind and rain.

There are plenty of people's backgrounds, and I only have my back ~ ~.

Love is like two people pulling a rubber band, and the injured party is always unwilling to let go.

The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously.

No other half 100 points, only two people 50 points!

Don't complain about life all day, life will never know who you are, let alone listen to your complaints.

If love can be preserved, I will choose you in the afterlife! -Love messages

You must eat a little properly to lose weight.

I'm embarrassed to arrest you. How dare you steal?

Men like obedient women, but when men like a woman, they will listen to her unconsciously.

Sphere is also a kind of figure!

There is a one-dollar coin in the flower bed, but the sign next to the flower bed says, "Step into the flower bed and be fined three yuan!" " "It's really embarrassing.

If you pay taxes in the mirror, I'm afraid some women will go bankrupt.

There is a ramen restaurant in Chengdu marked "Northwest Flavor". Students who have never tasted the northwest wind can try it.

You can't be hungry for a penny of porridge ~!

At first, corn was planted there. Later, we reformed and planted pineapples. From a distance, a large area of land was planted ... The leaders came to inspect and said, "Very good, very good, this has become the Baltic Sea." ...

Nothing is better than love and rice porridge is better than nothing, so rice porridge is better than love.

Exercise your muscles to prevent being beaten!

The sky is falling, you hold it, I hold it, hehe …

I can't get rid of all this. I just frowned. Wow, it's in my heart again! ! ! !

I am a kind person. Even if I step on an ant, I will recite the scriptures and Buddha. Chuangjian died, and he built a grave for him. I was even more afraid that he would be single and lonely after his death, so I trampled dozens of ants to accompany him. It can be said that I have tried my best. I hope good people can contact me ~ ~ ~

In the west of the city, Zhuge Liang played a song, and the sound lingered, listening to 150,000 Wei Jun outside the city. Zhuge Liang: "Thank you, please give me one or two tickets." Wei Jun got a fright, and suddenly, no one hundred and fifty thousand people escaped. ...

God gave me a brain-so I thought; God gave me feet, so I ran; God gave me ten fingers, so I went online. After thinking about it, I ran to the Internet. ...

Those who are more talented than me are not as handsome as me, and those who are more handsome than me are not as talented as me!

"Come on, little girl, give me a smile!"

MM neglect ...

"That, little girl, don't give big ye laugh, big ye laugh for you ..."

MM: Look at the back, fascinated by thousands of troops and horses; Look straight ahead and scare away millions of lions!

I hope that one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a 100 yuan, hold down "ctrl-c" and then hold down "CTRL-V". ...

Don't fool me with 1983 expired "XO", give me a bottle of this year ~

Stuttering: "I ... you and me, just like fish can't live without ... boiling water!" " "

Hold out four fingers, read "four" in English, and then bend four fingers. How to read English? Yes, it is-"Wonderful!" (bend "four")

I think beautiful girls never blush, but they make others blush. Why should I blush? I didn't do anything wrong, but my eyes were persistent …

New advertisement of Nongfu Spring:

A rogue is flirting with a woman, and passers-by dare not stop him. At this moment, a farmer rushed forward. "Let her go, she's my sister!" "

"Who are you, looking for a cigarette?" Before I finished, I heard three rumblings, and the hooligan fell to the ground with blood all over his face.

(The camera turns) I saw the farmer rubbing his wrist and cursing: "NND, let you taste the power of the farmer's three fists (mountain spring)!"

Ugly, but ugly is special, that is, very ugly.

I never write words, but I write interchangeable words!

A cabbage, undressing while walking, finally disappeared. . . .

A black cat saved a white cat from the river. Do you know what the white cat said to the black cat later? It said, "Meow. . . . "

How to make drinks bigger? Answer, say the mantra of compassion.

One day, a match fell, and I broke my head and went to the hospital to dress it. It turned into a cotton swab.

Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience? ! !

Not afraid of the enemy like a tiger, but afraid of teammates like pigs!

You can't please everyone, because not everyone is human.

A mung bean is walking in the street, walking, stepping on a lemon, and it becomes a sour bean foot …

This child is really fucking likable; This child is really cute; This child is really cute. ...

Two farmers brag-"The chickens on our farm eat all the tea leaves and lay all the tea eggs" "Yes, our farm gives the chickens wallets and lets them lay poached eggs ..."

Don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of encephalopathy is that they must have brains.

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror; In old age, mirrors are flat.

After seeing me, you will suddenly find that handsome can be so single-minded!

I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple …

Excerpt from quotations from Gu Long.

What's more troublesome than meeting a bitch?

Meet two bitches at the same time

Rice and steamed buns fight, rice is very crowded, but whenever you see a wrapped one, fight! No one can survive the steamed dumplings wrapped in sugar and meat ... Zongzi was forced into the corner. In desperation, she stripped off her clothes and shouted: Look clearly, I am undercover!

The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution.

Make the lunch box blue.

One person has a bad stomach. One day, he went to the Stomach Hospital and said to the doctor, "I can eat whatever I want."

Guala watermelon, eat cucumber and pull cucumber! "

The doctor thought about it and said to him, "I think you have to eat shit!" " "

On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?" "

The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will shine!" " "

Q: What do African cannibals eat?

A: people!

Q: Then one day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be a vegetarian. What did he eat?

A: Eat vegetables! ~~

A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak meet in the street. Why don't they say hello (assuming they can talk)?

because ....................

because ........................

Because they are strangers ~ ~! Ha ha laugh

Playing the fool, if done well, is a stupid thing. Well done, it is called deep.

Some people are destined to wait for others, and some people are destined to be waited for.

A great person like me, when I want someone to appreciate me, I will look in the mirror.

Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age!

If you want to wander the Jianghu, you'd better be single.

Lie. There is a lie in it. To believe means to believe, and to lie means to lie.

Do you think I'll watch you die? I close my eyes.

You can go as far as you want.

Please don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

Asking how sad you can be is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

Men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!

Live, with the attitude of death ...

I came quietly, walked quietly, waving a dagger, leaving no one alive.

Zaizai was repaired by his father. He ran to his mother to complain: "Mom, what would you do if someone hit your son?" Mom: "I will."

Beat his son for revenge! "Aberdeen:" ... "

When I was a child, my teacher told me the definition of "handsome boy", and I was puzzled. Later, I took out a mirror for me. OY！ Suddenly I understood.

2 1 century, what is most important to me?

Everyone says I'm an actor, because I roll my eyes when I see a beautiful MM. ...

It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.

No big deal. -breast enhancement products's advertisement.

Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.