What jokes does the daughter tell her father?

It's the first time to steam steamed bread at home, and I'm very happy. I took my own steamed bread and said happily to my father, "Dad, how about trying my virgin steamed bread?" . .

Daughter, watching the animal world with my family that day, my brother suddenly pointed to a pig on TV and said to me, "Hey! Isn't this you! "

I habitually shouted: "It's your sister!" Then I regretted ... I had a husky. Today, I fed it dog food out of curiosity, so I picked up a piece and tasted it. Who knows, after a deep look at me, the goods moved silently and gave me a place next to the rice basin! ! !

A mm wrote in the state: "There is a man. He is not your boyfriend, nor is he your ambiguous object. But you are so close that you don't care. When no one knows you, only he knows you. You watch movies hand in hand. But you never kiss and never say I love you. I think this is Lan Yan's bosom friend. "

A brother left a message: "Blue egg! Isn't this TM your father? "

My husband is very timid. I once forced him to donate blood. We are very close, separated by a curtain. After sitting for a while, I heard the nurse over there say, relax, sir. It's okay. Sir, sir, sir, wake up!

I never knew my mother would peek at my diary! Until one day, she said seriously, hey, your little boy who secretly loves you in your diary, can you just repeat one name? You are too playboy! !

During the college entrance examination, a parent called and said, "My daughter is very beautiful, but she didn't do well in the college entrance examination. Can she enter your school? "

The staff replied: "Our school is also beautiful, but the score is a bit high. . . My wife is pregnant with twins and has a big belly.

Once we were eating out and a little boy was pregnant. He's been watching us.

After a while, I finally ran over, pointed to my wife's stomach, looked at mine again, and said anxiously, Aunt, don't eat any more!

My daughter is three years old. Once I called home and my daughter answered.

My daughter said to me angrily, "Dad, it's cold, remember to add clothes."

I was about to answer, "okay, dad knows."

The daughter added, "Don't freeze to death." ...

A batch of primary school Chinese test papers require you to make sentences ... you ... and ... ".

A student wrote: Yesterday I went to my grandma's house, and grandma brought me a chicken leg. After eating, I asked my grandmother if there were any more. Grandma replied: "Yes, yes!" "

Son: "Dad, I want to buy Altman."

Dad: "All right."

Son: "Dad, I want to buy Transformers."

Dad: "dear son, there is no money." Don't buy it yet. "

Son: "If you don't buy it, I'll tell my mother about your kiss with Uncle Zhang, huh."

Dad: "this child can't pull his wings." Don't think I don't know that you gave all your toys to your uncle Zhang's little son! " "

Son:. . Teacher: "Zhou scalping is very stingy. In order to make the farmer's uncle work more, he dresses up as a chicken at night ..."

The students sang in unison: "seduce the farmer's uncle."

One snowstorm day, an external professor came to the classroom and found only one person sitting inside.

He waited for a while, but no other students came, so he talked to the man and was about to leave. The listener stopped him and said, "Hey, don't go, it's my turn to have a class."

Weather forecast of a university: president's office 2 1℃, administration building 23℃, teacher's office 25℃, library 28℃, teaching building 35.5℃ and dormitory 42℃. Please pay attention to summer in hot climate areas. Today's program is here. Thank you for watching. Goodbye.

The monitor received the "imperial edict" from the class teacher and read it out in class.

The first sentence at the beginning is: "According to the instructions of the class teacher, the whole class will sit down as ordered."

The students soon quieted down, and she went on to say, "I'm the head teacher."

"What?" The students opened their eyes wide and asked in surprise.

"Sent by the' Imperial Commissioner'." He went on to say, "There are no cram schools tomorrow and Sunday."

Hearing this, the students danced with joy and shouted "Long live the head teacher".

She cleared her throat and added loudly, "No way!"

A girl in the dormitory is usually an idiot. Once she drank water with a cup, and then watched the whole glass of water spill on her. Everyone wants to know what happened to her. She calmly said: nothing, the drinking network has opened its mouth.