A joke about folk smoking

Jokes, short in length, simple and ingenious in plot, are often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of sudden laughter and achieving the artistic effect of laughter. Most of them reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different tastes. The following folk smoking jokes I compiled for you; Welcome everyone to read.

Folk smoking joke 1 1 "Why do you smoke?"

"Wait for a woman who advised me to give up smoking."

2, smoking was caught by the teacher, and I wouldn't admit it if I was killed. The teacher asked me, "Then why do you smell of smoke?" I thought about it and answered, "It smells good."

A buddy in my dormitory is a heavy smoker. Tonight, all the eggs were used up, and I was depressed because I couldn't go out to buy cigarettes. I walked back to the dormitory for a few steps and decided to smoke by myself. After a while, I saw him smoking. Frightened, ask what kind of cigarette are you smoking? He took a deep breath and said, I don't smoke, I smoke life. I see, it's amazing! The ginseng slices on the table are half missing.

4. A: "The doctor advised me to quit smoking with chocolate." B: "what's the effect?" A: "No, I tried. Chocolate doesn't glow at all. "

5. Policeman: "Smoking is forbidden here, please pay 50 yuan a fine."

Rich second generation: "Simple, this is 100 yuan, take it."

Policeman: "But I have no change for you."

Rich second generation: "If you smoke one, you don't have to look for it!" "

6. A student learned to smoke. One day, he walked out of school after school and just took out a cigarette from his pocket, only to find that the class teacher didn't know when he had stood in front of him. Seeing the teacher's eyes wide open, he trembled with fear.

The teacher roared, "Don't you dare smoke!" The students immediately threw their cigarettes on the ground.

The teacher shouted again: "Don't you dare to waste!" After listening, the students quickly picked it up from the ground and handed it to the teacher.

The teacher didn't answer and roared, "How dare you bribe!" The students quickly stuffed them into their pockets.

The teacher shouted more angrily, "Do you dare to do it again?"

The students were at a loss and cried with a "wow".

I read an article in the newspaper the other day. This was written in a remote mountain village. The villagers in the village are famous for their longevity. An expert specializing in life science went to inspect and saw an old man basking in the sun at the entrance of the village. He asked, Are you old? The old man said that he was 93 years old, and experts praised him again and again. When experts saw the old man holding a tobacco bag in his hand, they said that smoking would shorten his life! The old man replied: Do you think it will take longer to put bacon or fresh meat? Experts are speechless.

8. In the office, Huang Lao smokers started smoking. After a while, the air was filled with smoke. Mr. Ju said, "Please don't smoke in public places."

Huang Lao, a heavy smoker, said, "Since there is a cigarette, I dare to smoke."

Mr. Ju said, "Smoking is like taking a shit. Go to the smoking room in a specific place. "

9. Everyone in the dormitory has given up smoking. Only Lao Wang has been smoking. Everyone decided to let Lao Wang give up smoking.

One night, several colleagues complained in tears and listed all the dangers of smoking. When it comes to the emotional place, they were all hoarse.

After a while, the pale Pharaoh took out his cigarette case trembling and said in horror, "God, you scared me to death. Smoke a cigarette to suppress the shock! " "

10 A smoker opened his cigarette case and asked the person sitting on his right to smoke. The man on the right said, "Thank you, I don't smoke."

He asked the person sitting on the left to smoke, and the person on the left also said, "I don't smoke, thank you!" " "

His wife reminded him, "Why don't you ask the person sitting opposite you to smoke?"

"Because he can smoke!"

Folk smoking jokes 2 1. My friend said he would drive me home. After getting on the bus, he habitually lit a cigarette. My friend pinched my cigarette and said, "Don't smoke in the car, it will smell like smoke." I slapped it down, and the battery car smelled like your sister's smoke.

I live on the second floor. On the first floor, an uncle runs a dry cleaner. I smoke on the balcony at night, so I throw away my cigarette butts. Suddenly, my uncle jumped out of the shop and said to me, "Young man, did you throw cigarette butts?" I am a little embarrassed to say, "I threw it away, and it will never happen again." Before I finished, my uncle grabbed the words, "come on! Young man, give me a cigarette. "

Chatting with my future father-in-law at my girlfriend's house. My father-in-law just lit a cigarette. At this time, my future mother-in-law came back from outside to open the door, and my father-in-law conveniently put a cigarette in my mouth and said to me, "Young man, smoke less cigarettes in the future." Smoking is not good for your health. "

4. When I came home from work, my wife looked at me maliciously.

Wife: "You still know to come back!"

My wife said, while making signal with the lips, I suddenly found a cigarette butt on the ground. I must have been caught smoking secretly. I knelt down and swore: "wife, I promise I will never smoke secretly again." Whoever smokes again is a bastard! "

Just then, my father-in-law came out of the toilet with a cigarette in his mouth.

5. A friend doesn't smoke or drink, and calls himself a good man. No matter how intimidating and tempting we are, we just don't smoke or drink. Until one day, another friend said to him: Look at the people who go to the grave, they all pour cigarettes and wine. You don't smoke or drink. Will your son insert a lollipop to pour you a drink when he comes to see you in the future? After listening, my friend silently asked for a cigarette.

There are many smokers in the office. The director of the office who hates smoking said with emotion: "All smokers are good people. Pay more taxes than others, die earlier than others, and save all your pensions for others. That's why the country sells cigarettes vigorously. "

We were all silent.

7. My wife is pregnant and smoking is not allowed. She stamped her feet on the stairs in a hurry. When Lao Li went out, he happened to meet me and laughed at me: "Why is it forbidden for my sister to smoke?" Yes, I can't hold it any longer. Come to my house. What's the matter? You're not afraid of my sister-in-law cutting you? "She said that only guests from home can smoke with you." .

8, hiding in the bathroom smoking was found, my mother angrily picked up the belt and beat while swearing: "Where did you get the smoke? Let you smoke for me, let you smoke for me. "

Dad also angrily picked up the feather duster and beat and scolded: "Where did you get the cigarette?" Let you not smoke for me, let you not smoke for me. "

9. My husband shouted in the bathroom early in the morning, and my son said, "Bring my air purification equipment."

Son: "All right," he said, jumping around with a cigarette in his mouth.

10, when I was in junior high school, I went to the toilet to smoke. We were all caught by the head teacher.

The only poor baby was caught before she ordered it.

He tried to prove that he didn't smoke.

Put your mouth on the nose of the class teacher.

Usually Sven Lao Ban says you eat shit in the toilet?

Folk smoking joke 3 1. A man was waiting for someone in the hotel lobby when a waiter came up to him and said, "Sir, you can't smoke here."

The man took a few steps to the left and asked, "What about here?"

"Sir, you can't smoke here either."

The man took a few more steps to the left: "What about here?"

The waiter rolled his eyes angrily: "You are almost finished, why ask!"

2. When someone takes a driver's license test, they will bring a "red plum" to the coach every time they go. The man couldn't find his mobile phone at the training ground that day, so he borrowed the coach's mobile phone and called his mobile phone. When he dialed, he found that the note on his mobile phone was "Hongmei".

I live in the country. It is very hot at night. My father is smoking in the yard. Seeing his son's leg bitten by mosquitoes, he said, "You see, smoking is still good. No mosquitoes bite me. "

The son next to him said, "Mosquitoes know that smoking is harmful to health, but you don't."

4. A patient has pulmonary nodules, and the doctor told him to reduce smoking, with a maximum of 1 root after each meal.

After two months of reexamination, the patient was as fat as a balloon.

The doctor asked, "Did you quit smoking and have a bad rest?"

The patient said, "No, you said you smoked 1 cigarette after every meal. Now eat 10 meal every day.

The attendant at the gas station saw a man wandering around the gas station. He didn't know what he was doing, so he went over and asked, "Excuse me, sir, what can I do for you?"

The man replied, "Nothing, I'm quitting smoking!" " "

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