Quotations from classic jokes

Lead: I allow you to walk into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world. The following is my collection of classic joke quotations, hoping to make Bojun laugh.

Quotations from classic jokes 1

1, how to lose weight without eating?

2, hooligans are not terrible, they are afraid that hooligans have culture. ...

3, driving is not difficult, I am afraid of new people!

4. The mine disaster continues in the review, and the rise in property prices is under control!

Nothing money can solve is a problem.

6, heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at age!

Live well, because we will die for a long time!

8, people are not smart, but also learn from others baldness! !

9. Don't ask me anything, and don't ask me anything!

10, it is better to fight with smart people than to talk to fools!

1 1, Chopin, no matter how awesome you are, you can't play out Lao Tzu's sadness!

12, as long as the hoe dances well, is there a corner that can't be dug down?

13, even believe the advertisement, you are stupid to read it!

14, if you want to mix in the Jianghu, you'd better be single! !

15, don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

16, can't sleep in the morning; Sleep at night!

17, women please themselves, men pity to please themselves!

18, meanness is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them!

19, only women and English are sad, only wives and jobs are hard to find!

When I woke up, it was already dark.

2 1, money is not the problem, the problem is no money!

22. Being talented is like being pregnant, and it takes a long time for people to see it.

I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I've had enough.

24, how far is the thought, how far you roll for me!

25. Cherish your life-if God keeps you alive, you must have his plan.

26. You told me to get out, and I got out. You asked me to come back. I'm sorry. I'm leaving.

Please don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

28. No one has blown cowhide so fresh and refined for a long time!

Quotations from classic jokes 2

1, the master of sleep destruction Martin meets the boxing champion Ali. Martin said to Ali: I'll give you a round of applause, and you'll immediately go into a state of deep hypnosis. Ali said: I'll give you a punch, and you'll be in a deep coma immediately …

My roommate is addicted to stealing vegetables all day. It was hard for me to understand, so I asked, "Is it really interesting to steal vegetables?" Roommate: "Did I steal food? ! What I stole was loneliness! "

My roommate is busy stealing vegetables for his girlfriend all day. He felt very excited and surprised. He asked, "Is it really so interesting to steal vegetables?" Roommate: "Did I steal food? It is my girlfriend's heart! "

4. A couple were walking by the sea, and the man told a joke to the woman. As a result, a big wave swept them into the sea and they finally swam ashore. Just then, an old man next to him said, remember, young man, don't tell jokes at sea, it will cause "laughter at sea." ......

5. Husband: What do you want for Valentine's Day? Wife: Flowers are too expensive, but I still like flowers! On Valentine's Day, my wife dressed up and greeted her husband with a gift box. She can't wait to open it, there are twists and turns inside.

6. Go away on business alone. At the station, he got separated from his lovestruck girlfriend. Girlfriend touched his face affectionately, with tears in her eyes. After n minutes, he said, say what you have. This is not a touch screen!

7. A couple are watching a movie. The movie is saying a classic line: "The furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death, not that I stand in front of you and you don't know that I love you." This time, the crying woman didn't cry. The man felt very strange and asked the woman why she didn't cry. The woman said to him, "This is not the furthest distance, let alone the distance of love. This is just the distance of secret love. "

8. Some people go to a swimming class and refuse to get into the water. The coach said, if you don't get into the water, I'll fire you. He said: I'm afraid I'll be expelled from the world if I get into the water.

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