Selected English jokes

Jokes make people feel a little happy and relaxed in a rigid life. At the same time, jokes are also a powerful weapon against totalitarianism and autocracy. I'll share a short English joke, hoping it will help everyone!

About short English jokes: Work smarter, not harder.

A priest was walking along a country road when he saw a young farmer trying to reload a cart full of hay. "You look hot, my child," said the priest. "Why don't you have a rest and then I'll help you?" "No, thanks," said the little boy. "My father won't like it." "Don't be silly," said the priest. "Everyone has the right to rest. Here, have some water. Rest in the shade. " The young people protested again. "Oh, no, sir. My father will be very angry! " The priest lost patience and said, "Your father must be a complete slave owner. Tell me where I can find him; I will give him some color to see see! " The young farmer replied, "He is under that pile of hay!" "

About short English jokes: the biggest sexual lie

A priest walked past a group of teenage boys sitting on the church lawn. "Good evening, children. What are you doing? "

"Nothing, Reverend," a young man replied. "We are just looking to see who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life."

"Boys, boys, boys!" The priest chanted. "I was shocked. When I was your age, I never thought about sex at all. "

The boys looked at each other and then said in unison, "Reverend, you won!" "

About short English jokes: Catholic schools

Little Tommy's parents did everything they could to help him improve his math scores: tutors, flashcards, "obsessed with math", special learning centers, everything. Finally, they registered him in the local Catholic school.

On the first day, he came home with a very serious expression, went straight to his room and began to study. His mother was surprised. Books and papers are everywhere, and little Tommy is working hard. As soon as dinner was finished, he walked back to his room without saying a word and continued his study. This situation lasted for several weeks, until little Tommy proudly took his report card home to show his parents:

Get an a in math! "Tommy! This is great! I'm so proud of you! Son, what's that? What inspired you? Is it a nun? " Little Tommy shook his head.

"So, because of those books? Discipline? Structure? Uniforms? What? " Little tommy looked at her and said, "well, mom, it's like this."

When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign in the hall, I knew they were not fooling around! "

About a short English joke: throw it into the river

A preacher preached enthusiastically after completing a sermon on abstinence! "If I had all the beer in the world, I would throw them all into the river."

He said more emphatically, "If I had all the wines in the world, I would throw them all into the river."

Finally, he said, "If I had all the whisky in the world, I would throw them all into the river!" "

When he sat down, the lead singer stood up and announced with a smile, "Let's sing the 365th closing hymn."

"Shall we meet by the river?"

About the short English joke: depravity

An old priest was tired of everyone in his parish admitting adultery. In a Sunday sermon, he told them, "If one more person confesses adultery, I will resign!" "

Since everyone likes him, they decided to use a secret code: "Fall." & gt Since then, anyone who has committed adultery has said that he has "fallen". This satisfied the old priest and parishioners, and everything was fine for many years until the old priest died at the age of 93.

Soon after the new young priest settled down, he went to visit the mayor. The priest is very worried. "Mayor, you must do something about the sidewalks in this town. You can't believe how many people come to the confessional to talk about depravity! " The mayor began to laugh and realized that no one had explained their code to the new priest.

But before the mayor explained, the priest shook his finger and said to the mayor, "I don't know why you are laughing;" Your wife fell three times last week! "