Funny jokes, very classic funny jokes!

(1), my man can handle these jobs alone.

After marriage, a girl sold mules, donkeys, cows and even dogs.

She said to people, "I don't need them now." My man can do all these jobs by himself. "

(2) Send the monthly salary check directly to her.

The CFO said to an employee, "Your wife asked us to send your monthly check directly to her."

"Why?"

"She said to cancel intermediate exploitation."

(3) husbands who are only suitable for housework

The wife accompanied her husband for a "health check-up". When her husband was getting dressed after the examination, the doctor came out and said to her, "I don't like the look of your husband."

"I don't like it either," said the wife, "but he can do housework."

I can't help thinking of you at this moment.

The husband who was on vacation wrote to his wife: "Dear Elka, the wind is roaring and the sea is surging. At this moment, I can't help thinking of you ... "

(5) Remind your future husband to study your advantages.

Husband: "If I die, will you forget me?"

Wife: "Don't worry, how could I forget you? I will always remind my future husband to study your strengths. "

(6) The worries of female employees

Female employee: "I could have gone to work on time, but after I went out, a man followed me closely."

Manager: "But it may not affect your work."

Salesgirl: "Because that person walked slowly, the time dragged on."

That's what the beautiful maid said.

Woman: "honey, your kiss is much warmer than my husband's!" " "

Man: "Yes, your beautiful maid said the same thing to me."

8. What happened here?

The husband came home early on a business trip and met two strange young people at the door. "What happened here?" He asked doubtfully.

"Nothing." One of the young people simply said, "First him, then me, and now you, understand?"

(9) Clothes are old and people are new.

A: "Your man looks very handsome in his new suit!"

B: "This dress is old and people are new."

(10), the husband's reaction to his wife with four lovers.

Bell boasted about how beautiful his wife was. A friend pulled him aside and asked him in a low voice, "You really didn't know that your wife was hooking up with four lovers behind your back?"

"So what? I would rather have 20% rights to a good thing than monopolize a bad thing. "

(1 1), prenuptial agreement between wife and lover

The wife is all dolled up and ready to go out. The husband asked her where she was going. She said to her husband seriously, "rational tom jones, my appointment with Jack was made a month before we got married."

(12), nothing is more stupid than this.

A: "I'm afraid there is nothing more stupid than telling my wife about old romance."

B: "No, it's more foolish to tell your wife about your recent relationship."

(13), honey, we don't have to hide anymore.

My husband has a new love outside and wants to divorce his wife, but he can't talk it over. One night, my husband came back from a tryst and knocked on the door for a long time, but his wife just wouldn't open it. He kicked the door angrily and shouted at his wife, "I've had enough of this life, and we'll get a divorce at once!" " "At this moment, the wife said under the bed," Hey, honey, come out quickly, we don't have to hide anymore! " "

(14), he took a fancy to it, but it has nothing to do with me.

Wife: "The third child next door, he always stares at me."

Husband: "Just ignore him."

Wife: "I told you today that you don't care." I was attracted to him in the future, but it has nothing to do with me! " "

(15) Everything in the world is relative.

A: "Everything in this world is relative."

B: "How did you come to this conclusion?"

A: "A hundred dollars that my wife doesn't know is more precious to me than a thousand dollars that she knows."

(16), just tell me about your next husband.

Mr. Chen, who divorced his wife, married Wan Fen, who broke up with her husband. At first, the two people were able to hit it off, but after a while, they often quarreled over some trivial matters. Whenever there is an argument, Mr. Chen will mention how good his ex-wife is.

After knowing this, Wan Fen's mother said to her, "Son, if Teacher Chen brings his wife forward next time, you can talk about your next husband."

Reprinted in: KTV26..CN complete collection of husband and wife jokes (1)

Funny joke, right /f? KW =%B8%E3%D0%A6%D0%A6%BB%B0