Homophonic joke

Homophonic joke 1:

1. Donate the official to answer the boss

One day, the boss visited and asked a donor: What about people now? The donor quickly replied:? There are only two white apricots, but there are many red apricots. . The boss said: I asked Li Shu? Donate the palace and answer:? There are many pear trees, but few fruits. ? Donating officials is ignorance, but this homonym really confuses the audio-visual of donating officials.

2. Loquat is not this pipa.

Once upon a time, there was a dude who was lazy and didn't study hard. When I grow up, I often make jokes because I write typos. One day his wife said she wanted to eat loquat. He took a piece of paper from the table and wrote some words on it with a pen. After writing, he asked the servant to buy loquat. His wife took the newspaper and read it. She burst out laughing. What does it say? Buy five catties of pipa? . Two of the five words are wrong, Will? Loquat? Is it wrong? Pipa? . After reading it, his wife wrote a jingle at the back: loquat is not this pipa, just because she can't read much. If the pipa can bear fruit, the city will be full of flutes and drums. The guy blushed when he read his wife's poem.

? Loquat? And then what? Pipa? Pronunciation is the same, all read P? p？ , is homophonic. But? Loquat? It's a fruit, and then what? Pipa? It is a stringed instrument with completely different meaning and writing.

Three. ? Stealing melon money?

A farmer was afraid that his watermelon would be stolen, so he set up a sign in the field and wrote a line on it. One day, a passerby read the sign, picked two big watermelons in the field, held them and left. The farmer pointed to the man and said, stop, you want to leave after stealing the melon. Go back and look at the brand of Tiantou! ?

Passers-by said: I have seen it. It says: Picking melons in the field costs ten yuan! I haven't asked you for money yet! ? Let people pick up two big watermelons for nothing and ask others? Send ten dollars? . Who is to blame? Although it is a joke, it shows the harm of writing another word.

? Send? With what? Punishment? The pronunciation is similar, and it also belongs to homonym (near sound) mispronounced.

Four. ? Turtle? With what? Fake fish?

At noon, the children take a nap. In order to encourage them to fall asleep as soon as possible, I told them: if I see any baby sleeping fast and well in the future, I will put a small sticker on her. It happens that Qin Qing is very good. I asked Qin Qing Qin Qing what kind of stickers you like, because our small stickers are always cut by ourselves, which is very convenient. Qin Qing said, I want a little goldfish. I'm kidding. Well, everyone has a goldfish. Go home at night and let mom cook fish for you. Tong Tong immediately said? You can't eat fake fish If you eat fake fish, you will get sick. ? I deliberately said:? Turtle' is delicious. Go home and ask your mother what a turtle is like. In fact, for children, they have no experience in this field. Sometimes, in order to enliven the children's atmosphere, they deliberately Doby, hoping that they would argue with each other. That's interesting! Only by arguing with each other can they open their minds.

Verb (short for verb)? Get along? With what? Round head?

A shy boy finally got up the courage to ask his beloved girl: What kind of boy do you like? The girl said: hit it off. The boy asked the same question again and had to say sadly, can't you have a flat head?

Homophonic joke 2:

One day after class, the teacher hurried into the classroom and said, two people, I want class flowers. ? Everyone thinks it's interesting, especially the boys. They are very excited and active. After some twists and turns, they finally chose two beautiful girls, and the teacher waved. Come, come with me to the Academic Affairs Office to move flowers. ?

2. One day I asked mm what was the first thing you did after you got married? Mm thought for a moment, first blushed, then flashed a pair of eyes and said:? Just two people talking. What else can there be? ? I said:? No, your sister is unconscious. Why don't you call an ambulance? ? (Note: In the Northeast dialect, the word is often read three times. Later, I told mm in the south, and she said directly:? Take it to the hospital! ? I am sweating. )

One day I was washing clothes in the water room, and a mm came in and I said to her. Marry me. ? At that time, she was shocked and speechless. I said, What are you doing? Give me the hanger. ?

One day I went back to my dormitory and said to my roommate. I saw a woman taking a bath in the water room. ? (Note: the structure of the water room is the bathroom in the outer room and the shower room in the inner room) My roommate expressed disbelief, but seeing my sincere face gave him a glimmer of hope, so he asked me: Are we finished? I said:? I didn't. ? He hurried to the water room and said convincingly when he came back. There is a woman taking a bath. ? The next day, I told a mm about it. At first, she didn't believe me. Later, she called me a rogue. Later, she understood and said: It is inevitable for men and women to live together. ? I am very dissatisfied. I took a bite of the jujube on the table and said, what's wrong with watching a woman take a bath? It's not like I haven't seen it before. I saw you washing dates today! ?

5. Another one: One day, honest Xiao Li made four big wooden barrels overnight, and the next day he had to carry them to the town to sell subsidized households. Xiao Li got on the bus early in the morning. After getting on the bus, Xiao Li saw that all the seats on the bus were full, so he took out a wooden bucket and sat down. After a while, the bus arrived at the next stop, but several people got on the bus instead of getting off. One of them is a beautiful lady in a one-step dress. After getting on the bus, she saw that there was no seat, so she took out a bucket of Xiao Li and sat down. Seeing the market, Xiao Li wants to put away the bucket. See miss still no sign of getting up, so we have to tell her. Miss, please lift your ass. As a result, the whole car laughed

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