Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - How lucky to be paired (full version)
How lucky to be paired (full version)
No one in this world likes to be threatened, and Nie Shuang is certainly no exception. Who is that Qianying Pavilion disciple? What's the point of saying that? Did he discover something? These questions kept spinning in her mind, making her think.
It wasn’t until she returned to Wanqimen that she came back to her senses and put those problems aside for the time being. When she returned to her room to pack her bags, all the junior sisters came to talk to her out of curiosity. She recounted the process of the spirit union ceremony in a half-joking and embellished manner. All the junior sisters already knew that she and Qianfeng were paired together, but hearing her tell it, it was a different feeling. What's more, Nie Shuang's tone was extremely sarcastic, and he added a few swear words, which made everyone laugh.
Everyone was happy for a while, but then they heard the girl named "Yunbi" speak and asked worriedly: "Senior Sister, what are you going to do? Are you really going to double cultivate with Uncle Qianfeng?" "What?"
"Why not?" Nie Shuang smiled charmingly.
"But, he and Wan Qimen..."
"Isn't that just right." Nie Shuang said, "Don't forget, what I practice is the 'all-spirited nature'. In Taking away his power during dual cultivation is just a piece of cake. In this way, not only will Master's revenge be avenged, but I, Wan Qimen, can also annex Qianying Pavilion and look down upon Jiuyue!" After she said this, she added a sinister smile! The voice sounded particularly evil, causing all the junior sisters to look at her with admiration.
"But, Senior Sister, what if Master Qianfeng doesn't obey?" Yunbi spoke again and asked.
"Yes, yes, I heard that Master Qianfeng is the most ruthless person. Back then, my master was ridiculed by him with harsh words. How could he take us juniors seriously?" Someone said added.
"Bah. If the soft one doesn't work, use a hard one! The meat in the mouth can still make it escape!" Nie Shuang said.
“But he is an uncle after all, and his moral conduct is much higher than ours. How can we use force?”
“Even if he has a copper wall and an iron wall, he cannot be on guard for twelve hours. I. I don’t believe I can’t find a chance!” Nie Shuang is full of fighting spirit.
When all the junior sisters heard this, they felt more and more admiration in their hearts.
At this moment, Wan He walked in. The girls were slightly startled and stood up to salute. Wan He nodded and smiled, and ordered everyone to leave. Nie Shuang knew that she must have come because of the previous meeting with spirits. She greeted her respectfully, helped Wan He sit down on the bed, then knelt beside her legs and said sweetly: "Master came to see me, right? Are you reluctant to leave me? In fact, spiritual compatibility is not important at all. As long as Master says nothing, I will not cultivate with Master Qianfeng."
Wan He smiled and touched it. She held her hair and said: "I just agreed in person in front of so many people, how could I go back on my word?"
"Master, did you just think about going back on your word?" Nie Shuangxiao Gotta be cunning.
"Nonsense. Why should I go back on my word? What does it have to do with who he practices double cultivation with?" Wan He frowned, his tone full of disdain.
Nie Shuang sighed softly and said plaintively: "What? I thought Master wanted to regret it because he was afraid that I would suffer a loss. Did it turn out that it was just to get angry with Master Qianfeng?"
"Angry?" Wan He suddenly stood up, his face full of anger, "Why should I be angry with him? Who is he?"
"Oh..." Nie Shuang Then he stood up and said, "Does that mean I can do anything to him?"
Wan He was stunned for a moment, then said: "It's up to you."
"I Is it okay to take away all his skills?"
"Okay." Wan He answered readily.
"Is it okay if I torture him into a cripple?"
"Okay." Wan He's face was extremely gloomy.
"Is it okay if I let him fall in love with me?"
"..." Wan He suddenly fell silent. After a moment, she sighed softly and raised her hand to twist Nie Shuang's hand. Cheeks, "Damn girl, I'm here to entertain you!"
Nie Shuang smiled and held her hand, "Good Master, I have been with you since I was a child. Who else in this world can You understand your thoughts better than me. Don't worry, Master, I will definitely help you get revenge this time..." The smile in her eyes was cold and cold, "I will tear off his sanctimony and make him cry bitterly. I knelt at your feet with tears in my eyes." After hearing this, Wan He was angry and amused, "Looking at you, all the junior sisters have been led astray by you.
"
Nie Shuang was displeased and said: "Master, I am serious! "
"Okay, Master is waiting for your good news. "Wan He said perfunctorily with a smile.
Nie Shuang was a little dissatisfied with her reaction. He felt that he was treated as a joke despite his enthusiasm. But it's no wonder that he hasn't succeeded yet and he can't blame others for not succeeding. Believe it. After thinking about it, she didn't care anymore. She took Wan He's hand again and said with a smile: "Master, what did you come to me for?" "
Wan He said: "Oh. I will start retreat from tomorrow. It will probably take a while. I have already explained the matters in the church. It's just that I'm a little worried about you going to Qianying Pavilion alone, so I'm here to give you a few words. "
"Why do you want to retreat suddenly? "Nie Shuang asked.
"The calamity is coming, and I want to improve my skills. Wan He said, "You better not neglect your cultivation." "
Nie Shuang had a sudden realization when she heard the word "Demon Tribulation". She had almost forgotten that the main job of the Jiuyue Immortal Alliance was not to love men and women, but to defend the realm of evil spirits. The entrance to the human world. According to legend, in ancient times, this entrance suddenly appeared in the human world, and a large number of monsters poured out, killing all living beings. Later, the immortal cultivators in the world worked together to seal the entrance. The seal will be loosened, and it will be called "Magic Tribulation", which needs to be sealed by people with profound knowledge for several generations. Now this responsibility falls on the Jiuyue Immortal Alliance.
No wonder. The Yuexian Alliance was in a hurry to hold the spirit union ceremony, and Zhenjun Shangyang even personally asked Wan Qimen to participate. It seems that everything is to deal with the "magic disaster".
"So. Ah..." Wan He sighed, "Just let nature take its course regarding your matter with Qianfeng. "
After Wan He finished speaking, he warned her a few more words before leaving. Nie Shuang frowned and muttered to himself: "It's not natural in the first place, so why let it take its course..." She thought about it. For a moment, she couldn't think of a reason, so she simply gave up and continued to pack her bags, but she was not in a hurry to leave. She ate slowly and then went to the yard to pick some. Xianghua then played with the flower rope on the porch until the evening, and then took a leisurely bath. By the time she was about to set off, it was already dark.
The Qianying Pavilion disciple who was ordered to escort her looked gloomy and was extremely impatient, but he didn't dare to get angry. However, Nie Shuang pretended not to know anything and smiled brightly. Just as everyone was about to set off, Yun Bi rushed after her with a package in her arms. He came out and pulled Nie Shuang aside.
"What's wrong? " Nie Shuang was puzzled.
Yunbi took a breath, handed the package to her, and said: "Sister, senior sister, the senior sisters are afraid that you will lose to our uncle, so we have specially made some preparations for you! "
"What preparations? "Nie Shuang opened the package full of suspicion. When she saw the contents inside, her mouth twitched and she was speechless.
But Yunbi looked excited and explained to her with a smile: "Sister, look , this is the 'harmony fragrance', as long as you smell this fragrance, your limbs will become weak, your mind will be confused, and your whole body will feel hot! Also, this is the 'Red Dragon Tendon', which is made from the tendons of hundreds of snakes, twisted into a rope, and then dipped in a special medicinal liquid. It is extremely tough and is the best for tying people up! By the way, this is the 'Happiness Bug'. If you are bitten by this bug, you will..."
Nie Shuang was stunned. Where did these things come from? Is it really like this? The master said that these junior sisters were led astray by her? But now it seems that she is not as evil as these junior sisters!
She shuddered and interrupted Yun Bi who was talking. , said: "Okay, okay, please thank everyone for me. It's time for me to leave. It won't be dawn any longer." ”
“Well! Good go, senior sister. I wish you success! "Yun Bi said with great pride.
Nie Shuang tied up his bag tightly and nodded calmly. With goosebumps all over his body, he returned with the disciples of Qianying Pavilion.
Qianying The Pavilion and Wanqimen are not far apart, and everyone has been cultivating immortals for a long time. Flying with the wind is just a piece of cake.
Nie Shuang landed and stood still. She looked down. What she saw in front of her was the main hall of Qianying Pavilion. Although it was majestic, it was not much to look at. But the scenery around it made her a little attracted. Unlike Wanqimen, the mountain here was very high. It was spring, but there was still snow. When the cold wind blew, she breathed a sigh of relief and saw the mist.
Ah, it really wasn't a good place... She secretly regretted it.
She followed the disciples around the main hall, through the martial arts arena, and then walked a long corridor, and finally arrived at Qianfeng's study. The moment he walked into the room, Nie Shuang felt a touch of warmth. She relaxed slightly and raised her eyes to look at the person behind the desk.
At this moment, Qianfeng had changed out of the black robe he wore during the day and was wearing jade-colored home clothes. He was half-leaning on the table, reading the book, and the candlelight gave his usually cold face a layer of warmth. After hearing the disciple's announcement, Qian Feng raised his eyes, covered his book, and said to Nie Shuang, "It's a smooth journey."
Nie Shuang smiled and clasped his fists, saluted and said, "Thank you for your concern, uncle."
p>
Qian Feng nodded slightly, "Since you are here, there is no need to be cautious. The Jiuyue Immortal Alliance belongs to the same sect, just treat this as a master sect. If there is anything missing, just speak up."
Nie Shuang agreed with a smile, walked a few steps, and said: "I have often heard people say that Mount Meng, where Qianying Pavilion is located, is one of the most treasured Lingshan Mountains. When I saw it today, it was indeed well-deserved. It's just... She frowned slightly and complained softly, "I didn't expect it to be so cold here..." Qianfeng looked at her clothes and said gently: "This place is no better than Wanqimen. I need to put on more clothes."
Nie Shuang looked bitter and said angrily: "How did I know this... My hands were cold all the way here..." As she spoke, she said He had walked to the desk and gently pressed his hand on the scroll, which was only an inch away from Qianfeng's hand.
Qianfeng couldn’t help but frowned when he saw her like this. He stood up and said seriously: "In that case, you should rest early."
"Rest?" Nie Shuang pursed his lips and smiled, getting closer to him, "Am I alone?" Under the candlelight, Her smile is warm and charming. Under the thin shirt, the muscles and bones are fragrant, so sultry.
Such a development made several disciples at the door stunned. The Qianying Sect has always been respectful and self-disciplined, and all its disciples are self-disciplined. Who has ever seen such a bold woman?
Qian Feng was also extremely embarrassed. He avoided her gaze and took a step back involuntarily, saying: "...the matter of dual cultivation should not be rushed..."
This Although the words were rejection, to Nie Shuang's ears, they were just posturing. She smiled softly and was about to get closer when she suddenly heard someone call out loudly: "Master."
This voice was serious and calm, instantly shattering all the ambiguous atmosphere. Nie Shuang was filled with displeasure. He followed the sound and saw a Qianying Pavilion disciple standing at the door of the room with his head lowered and his fists clasped.
Qian Feng breathed a sigh of relief, bypassed Nie Shuang, walked to the disciple, and asked: "What's the matter?"
The disciple responded: "Master, evening class It’s over, but you still need to practice the sword formation you learned the day before?” Qian Feng said, “That’s it.”
“Yes,” the disciple said respectfully, “If there’s nothing else. Instruct the disciples to leave. "
"Go." Qian Feng said, then turned to the other disciples, "It's getting late. Send Miss Nie back to her room to rest."
p>Nie Shuang was dissatisfied, but couldn't say anything more. Damn it, who doesn't understand current affairs and dares to ruin her good deeds! She thought and glanced bitterly at the person who suddenly appeared. At this time, the disciple accepted the gift, raised his eyes and chest, and looked at Nie Shuang. Seeing his appearance clearly, Nie Shuang's heart moved. This person is none other than the one who spoke rudely to her during the day!
She frowned and said silently to herself: Looking for death!
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