Ask English jokes quickly and urgently!

a storm may arise from a clear sky—sth unexpected may happen any time

Catholicism: shit happened

Protestants: Shit happens in different ways.

Judaism: Our shit hasn't happened yet.

Confucianism: When shit happens, let it happen properly.

Atheism: shit won't happen, and it won't happen.

Buddhism: shit has happened, shit has happened, shit is about to happen, shit is happening, but shit is nothing.

Voodoo: If something happens, it has been dumped by someone.

Communism: I don't admit that shit happens.

And both upstairs have grammar and spelling mistakes. Please correct them.