Psychological cold reading students who instantly win the trust of others.

No one in this world can fully understand yourself, including yourself. Although almost all of us are aware of this fact, we still have to work hard all our lives to find a bosom friend. Once one day there is such a person who looks like a bosom friend, we will immediately invite him into our hearts. Finally, we found that we had hired a thief.

Li Xunhuan once said: The more enemies, the better. Only one friend is enough, but it is this friend who is more terrible than all the enemies combined!

So gregarious or independent has become the biggest problem of our time.

We hid in the corner of the party, holding a mobile phone with almost no news, watching the enthusiastic friends chatting next to us, and suddenly we were at a loss. We constantly recall our friends in our school days and those lush years, but we don't know that only those who are not living well now will cherish the past.

I am used to seeing the goddess disdaining you; Leaders' appreciation of other colleagues; Parents' appreciation of other children. You have nothing. Are you willing to change this desperate situation?

If you like it, then learn cold reading with me!

Books on communication skills in the market, such as Sand of the Yellow River, and many explosive articles also emphasize communication skills. However, I want to say that such books and articles do not have the influence to change your life. They have three shortcomings:

(1) We are not short of ideas, we are short of technology. The titles of most articles are very loud, and there is not much substance after reading them except a few life stories.

(2) Most articles emphasize how to communicate with opponents smoothly. What I want to emphasize is that the output feeling is far more important than the output content. Once a person likes you, no matter what you say, he will interpret it kindly. If a person hates you, no matter how kindly you remind him, he will be regarded as a donkey's liver and lung. At this point, I believe everyone has quite rich experience.

(3) Most importantly, you need to present yourself more actively instead of passively catering to others. Cold reading is not only a communication skill, but also a personality shaping that keeps you away from inferiority.

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Cold reading is still a technology that is not completely open. Because many people use this technology to gain the trust of others, they often use it to cheat. An important reason why I intend to announce this technology is that if we learn from cold reading, we can also help others and ourselves not to be cheated. Crouching tiger, hidden dragon said that there is no good and evil in the sword, and people have good and evil.

Cold reading is to express your understanding of others with active language or behavior on the basis of simple understanding.

For example, at the beginning of the new year, almost all my friends sent me New Year greetings. Nothing more than good luck in the Year of the Monkey. I wish you good health and so on. A little careful information will add the word teacher Zhou. But I must give my greatest love to Mr. Lu. The message she sent me was only five words: I wish you an early return.

Now I finally understand why Mr. Lu is very popular at school. I don't know Mr. Lu very well. She just knew that I was teaching in a poor village, but these five words deeply reminded me of my homesickness, and my affection for her doubled at that moment.

Cold reading is undoubtedly used in these short five words. Perhaps, she is the kind of person who naturally knows how to speak and makes people around her feel very comfortable.

Throughout history, Xiao Shenyang, Pearl and Gao Lishi are all masters of cold reading.

If we can know something about cold reading, maybe our life today will not be as difficult as in the past, present and future.

Cold reading, a good friend lover, cheated many girls. His first sentence after meeting a girl was: "In the eyes of others, you are a lovely girl, but I vaguely feel that you have an unknown sadness. Can you tell me something about it? "

Although many smart girls are no longer in the trap, we always have a contradictory psychology: we are wary of others and lock our hearts, but at the same time we are eager for others to know ourselves. Under such ambivalence, he is really popular. What he said above will be more or less similar to any of us.

How to use the normal cold reading method in daily life?

(1) homology method

In personnel recruitment, examiners often ask such a question: Why did you choose our position/company?

There are many answers, in fact, the best answer is to adjust with the examiner. Before your interview, you need to know the company culture of this unit.

For example, you applied for KFC, McDonald's and so on, and you replied: because I want to bring laughter to everyone. The word "smile" is the essence I summed up in various advertisements in KFC. Don't underestimate this word, a word with high homology can greatly bring the relationship between two people closer.

Another example is new colleague P, who loves mountain climbing and extreme sports. Once I invited him to dinner, and all the shops I used to go to were full, so we had to choose a restaurant we had never been to. Before entering the door, I saw him hesitating.

So I said to him, "Let's challenge the taste of this family!"

At that time, I found that he showed a knowing smile, and then we had a very happy dinner.

(2) Conventional topics

In this world, each of us has countless contradictions and psychological conflicts. Making good use of these psychological conflicts to organize topics can often achieve unexpected results, and a good communication often begins with the frank confession of both sides. The following are the routine topics summarized by several meows. You can look at the situation in your life.

"I can see that you are the kind of person who always thinks of each other, but you may also be misunderstood!"

"You always work hard and face problems firmly, but sometimes you will inevitably force yourself, right?"

"I can see that you have greater potential, and it may not be your best state yet!"

"I believe you are a very accurate person, but people are separated, and sometimes turning your face will surprise you!"

"For you, money is not important. There must be something more important in your life. Tell me! "

Using this technique can be of great help to people with little communication experience, because it shifts the initiative of speaking from you to others and makes others have the desire to speak. A master can always make the other side talk when compared with himself. Sometimes the psychological counselor's handling method is simply to listen to the demands of the visitors, and make some simple responses after opening the dialogue with conventional topics.

Interpersonal communication is mainly about communicating the mind rather than external things. Starting today, forget those parents, ok? Where do you work? Are you buying a car or a house? Topics like this! Of course, if someone is obsessed with such a topic, if there is no interest relationship, I think you can end this relationship emotionally.

(3) Active attention

Active attention is not entirely the skill of cold reading, but one of the main skills of psychological counseling. Psychological counselors often use positive attention technology to help visitors find confidence in life and create an atmosphere in which visitors are understood.

Let's give an example. When the visitor tells a long story about the difficulties and feelings in his life, the counselor can ask the visitor this question.

"I believe you have made some efforts in improving your life!"

If the visitor replies, "I have made a lot of efforts, I have argued with my boss and communicated with my wife." I did everything possible to save my life! " "

At this time, the counselor replied: "Great, you are really a strong and brave person!" " "

After listening to this sentence, the visitor has a feeling that the consultant understands him very well, and he will think that the consultant is very powerful. In the future treatment, psychological counselors can take advantage of this halo effect to bring visitors to a positive side.

However, tourists have other answers. What shall we do? For example, he said, "I haven't changed anything. I am in pain. I don't know what to do! " "

At this time, the consultant replied: "Before making some changes, you may need some time to calm down, and this decision will be more rational!"

If the other person is relatively calm, answer: "In fact, I didn't do anything. I have already thought about this, look down! "

Then the counselor replied, "Then I'm relieved!"

In life, we make good use of positive attention technology, which can give our companions a feeling of being understood, recognized and cared for. When he changes his life difficulties to a certain extent, he will also attribute part of the credit to your support. In fact, each of us has a positive side and a negative side, which is the most basic preset contradiction. Positive attention can be regarded as a special and useful routine topic.

I hope that through the application of these psychological communication technologies, our increasingly indifferent life will be more warm and humorous, and less skeptical and critical. If you like, please pay attention.