Unexpected circle of friends.

1. 1 On the eve of the final exam. In the evening, he heard his parents discussing what to make him breakfast tomorrow morning. Mom said: Do you want to make fried dough sticks and eggs? 1 Fried dough sticks and two eggs are 1%. After a little silence, my father said, 100 is not enough for so many exams. Why not give him instant noodles and eat that "Tong 1 100~"?

2. Once upon a time, there was a match that didn't like washing hair. Once, when he was walking on the road, he felt his head itch, so he scratched and scratched too hard and his head caught fire. It was sent to the hospital in time, and there have been cotton swabs in the world since then.

3. A group of pregnant women set up a group, called: parenting exchange group. They only do one thing in it: scold their husbands.

It's almost Valentine's Day. Last night, I was shopping downstairs. The boss asked me, "Does Mr. Wang buy flowers?" "Why buy flowers?" Buy flowers for my girlfriend Oh, how many flowers can you buy for your girlfriend? Then the boss silently took the flowers back. ...

I hope you can eat whatever you want and do whatever you want. After all, you are old and have a bad memory!

6. At 3: 30 noon, when the sun was shining, the supervisor ordered: chop! Suddenly, the condemned man burst out laughing, and the supervisor asked, Why are you laughing? The condemned man hesitated for a moment and said, The expert is right. Laughing every day can prolong life for 5 seconds!

7. Policeman: "Say, what's your name?" Prisoner: "My name is Jackie Chan." Policeman: "Why don't you call Zhen Chen? Correct your attitude ~ tell me your name ~? " Prisoner: "My name is Zhen Chen."

8. Those who only want to pay in love without asking for anything in return often get what they want, but they don't get anything in return.

9. When I paid my salary that day, when I went to the finance department to get my salary, I saw that they were all calculating something with calculators. Out of politeness, I asked: What are you? As a result, I was scolded for not getting paid.

10. My grandmother always thought that sogou was a website dedicated to finding lost pets.

1 1. Guanyin said to Venus, "Dear, let's bet ~"