Excuse me, who has an interesting joke?

Those things about the journey to the west

1. In the morning, Tang Priest woke up from his dream and found the Monkey King kneeling in front of his bed. He asked, "Wukong, what's wrong with you?" The Monkey King said with tears all over his face, "Master, I beg you, next time you talk in your sleep, don't say spells, okay?"

2. Wukong was exiled to Huaguoshan by Tang Priest because of Monkey King Thrice Defeats the Skeleton Demon. A few months later, Zhu Bajie suddenly visited and cried when he entered the door. Wukong asked, "Where is the parade?" Bajie replied, "Linfen." Wukong asked again, "But did you meet a demon again?" "No," Pig said. Wukong said urgently, "Then why are you crying?" Bajie was even sadder: "Brother, go home quickly! Master was sold to the black brick kiln and we searched for it for three months. "

3. When the Buddhist scriptures team arrived in the poverty-stricken areas, they couldn't lend them out in a few days. Wukong had to send Friar Sand and Bajie to distant cities to find food because he wanted to protect his master. On the first day, everyone returned empty-handed because there was no money. Go the next day, or empty-handed, because there is no money. Wukong was furious: "If you can't find food, don't come back!" On the third night, Friar Sand happily carried a big bag of rice with a lot of money left. Wukong was overjoyed and asked, "Where's Bajie?" Friar Sand suddenly cried sadly, "Brother, forgive me. There are so many of us, only the second brother can sell 16 yuan a catty. "

4. Four people arrived in a big city, Wukong went to eat, Friar Sand packed his bags, and Bajie went out for a walk. In the evening, Pig returned empty-handed, and the Tang Priest asked, "Where is Bai?" Bajie said, "I was detained by the traffic police." Tang Priest asked why? The pig said, "It farted." The Tang Priest asked, "You won't be detained for farting, will you?" Bajie said: "pol.ice said that Beijing would hold a green Olympics, and the exhaust gas exceeded the standard."

When Wukong came back begging, he found that Master had disappeared, and Friar Sand and Bajie were crying on the ground. Wukong asked, "Where is Master?" Pig said, "I lost it." Wukong said, "Look for it!" Friar Sand said, "I've looked everywhere, but there's nothing." Wukong looked around again, but still couldn't find it. Three people were worried when Wukong suddenly asked, "Did Master pay the mortgage this month?" Friar Sand said, "No." "Have you paid the road maintenance fee?" Wukong said, "Master, wash and sleep." . There are banks and traffic police watching! ”"

6. The Tang Priest and his disciples passed through the Lion Camel Ridge, and the lion spirit caught Tang Priest. Wukong took great pains and finally defeated the lion essence. Just as he was about to be killed, Manjusri Bodhisattva suddenly came, saying that it was his mount and took the lion essence and roared off. Wukong cursed. "Forget it, big brother," Pig said. "I am a leading driver and a civil servant."

7. When the Tang Priest and his disciples arrived at the West Gate, they saw 500 arhats coming out with their luggage on their backs. Why do they ask? The arhats sighed and said, "You don't know, in a few days, the new labor law will be implemented, and all of us temporary workers are laid off." The Tang Priest asked, "Where is the Bodhisattva?" Lohan said: "They are also having a hard time. In order to avoid the new labor law, Nishida forced them to sign a contract with XX Company, and later a third-party company sent them to work in Nishida. "

8. Tang Priest and others learned from the scriptures and made meritorious deeds, and were named Buddha. Several people happily went to the Western Heaven to look for a house, and returned disappointed a few days later. "Brothers, go home," said the Tang Priest. The house price in Xitian is too high, and we can't even afford the down payment. " Friar Sand said, "Haven't you heard about affordable housing? Why don't we ask? " "Silly brother," said Wukong, "who doesn't have a few relatives, big and small leaders in the Western Heaven? Can it be our turn? "

Bajie has been moping these days, staring at the moon in a daze at night. Wukong knew what was on his mind and went to the Moon Palace at the weekend. He came back and said to Pig, "Silly brother! I asked, China has launched a satellite and hasn't put a man on the moon yet. A machine, you are jealous! "

10. The Tang Priest took the scriptures and went behind Li See Shimin's back. The Tang Priest said, "Brother, I'm back." Li Shimin: "Oh." "I see," said the Tang Priest. Li Shimin said, "Oh, put it there." The Tang Priest said, "Brother, I have worked hard for more than ten years to achieve such a great event. Why are you unhappy? " ? Do you think my travel expenses are high? Li Shimin took off her earphone and said, "It took me an hour to download your scriptures by lightning. If I knew that computers were so powerful, what would I ask you to do? "

1 1. A large group of goblins rushed into the cave carrying Tang Priest tied into zongzi, shouting, "Your Majesty! Your majesty! We finally caught the Tang Priest! " The old demon woke up from his sleep, looked up and said listlessly, "Send it back." The goblin asked strangely why. The old demon said, "It's said in the newspaper that Tang monk's meat contains carcinogens."

12. Zhu Bajie became a particularly handsome young man after getting the Buddhist scriptures, and then he went to the bar to drink with the young lady. When he came out, he said to the young lady, "Do you know? Do you know how many cigarettes I used to smoke I used to be a pig, you know? " The young lady looked at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Second brother, I'm Friar Sand!"

13. Four priests Tang flew to travel, but the plane crashed on the way, but there were only three parachutes, so Father Tang said that everyone should answer questions and jump if they couldn't answer them. Tang Priest and Master: Wukong, how many suns are there in the sky? Wukong: One. Tang Priest: OK, here you are. Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many moons are there in the sky? Friar Sand: One. Tang Priest: OK, I'll give you one, too. The pig on the side is so happy, such a simple question. Tang Priest: Pig, how many stars are there in the sky? ... Bajie jumped. Before long, the four of them flew to travel again. There are still only three parachutes on the way. They went on answering questions. Tang Priest: Wukong, when was People's Republic of China (PRC) founded? Wukong: 1949. Tang Priest: OK. Tang Priest for you: Friar Sand, how many people died in the Liberation War? Friar Sand: 2.5 million people. Tang Priest: OK, I'll give you one, too. Tang Priest: Bajie, what are the names of those 2.5 million people? ..... Bajie had to jump again. The third time, the four of them went to travel by plane again and had an accident on the way. Then Pig said, Master, you don't have to ask. I'll jump myself. Then I jumped. The Tang Priest folded his hands and said, Amitabha, there are four parachutes this time.