34 hilarious reply, can you not be so vicious?

1, why do flat-chested girls generally eat food?

God replied: because poor chest is extremely hungry!

2. Other children will buy toilet paper, and my children are still on it.

God replied: other people's wives will be angry, and your wife will swell.

It's over 40, and there are still many things I don't understand who to ask.

God replied: Foreign affairs ask Google, internal affairs ask Baidu, and sex asks Tianya!

4. Why do girls have their period?

God replied: this egg can't wait for sperm, so it's called a depressed patient and vomits blood while walking.

5. How do you hook up when you see a boy who suits your taste on the bus?

God replied: pretend to be epileptic, foam, fall into his arms, twitch his hands, grab his crotch when he is big enough, and continue if you are not satisfied-hey! I'm ready!

6. What was the last time you experienced death?

God replied: Twenty years ago, I almost caught up with the sperm behind me!

7. someone is in a state of hair. Do you think my avatar is awesome?

God replied: yes.

8. What if my girlfriend shuts down in a rage?

God replied: the landlord went to get a haircut, so it is convenient to wear a hat.

9. Why is the Japanese side so cold when Japanese leaders visit China that they don't even hang welcome signs at the airport?

God replied: how to hang it? Warmly welcome old friends to Japan?

10, a female player posted in the forum and asked, "What gift do you want to give to your favorite boy on Singles Day?"

God replied: the first drop of blood.

1 1, the damn barber shop cut my head! Let's do some bad actions, and ask that the bigger the injury, the better, and the smaller the action, the better, because I am going alone.

God replied: in the middle of the night, the moon was dark and windy, quietly and gently, a man hanged himself at the door of the barber shop.

12, what's more disgusting than eating a lump of shit?

God replied: eat two pieces.

What could be more disgusting?

God replied: My teeth are blocked.

13. Why does CCTV news always finish the clips they packed up?

God replied: to tell you, we brag about the draft!

14, why are there only Virgos and no virgins in the constellation?

God replied: Why not? Only later people changed their names to Sagittarius!

15, wife is the road, friend is the cow, there is only one road in life, there will be many cows on the road, don't go the wrong way if you have money, don't sell cows if you don't have money!

God replied: What about the cows on the road?

16, Bajie said: Brother, go to the hospital quickly. The hospital has opened a department specially for you!

Wukong: Oh, what department?

Bajie: Stupid monkey!

17, I just saw someone say that the average wage in China is 4 134 yuan!

God replied: What does the average wage mean? The average height of Pan Changjiang and Yao Ming is 196CM. What does this mean? Is Pan Changjiang very tall?

18, my daughter, why can I feel each other's heartbeat strongly when I hug my boyfriend? Is it because we love each other so much that our hearts are connected?

God replied: no, because your chest is flat.

19. It is said that there are three obvious signs before the earthquake: ① abnormal well water; ② Abnormal reaction of livestock; Three experts came out to refute rumors.

God replied: the second and third articles are repeated.

20. Why do China people always go to Obama when they are wronged?

God replied: Because he and Bao Zheng are the same color.

2 1, how can I see my girlfriend's heart clearly?

God replied: I have been looking at people for a long time.

22. On the bus, a primary school student said to his mother with a summer homework book: Mom, I have too much summer homework! Then his mother tore up the exercise book and threw it out of the window. She also told her son smartly, "When the teacher asked, you said that mom and dad had a fight and mom tore up the exercise book!" ! How many students dream of having such a mother!

God replied: The pupils were dumbfounded, and it took a long time to spit out three words: "Just finished."

23. CCTV interviewed again. The reporter asked, "As a China person, what can you do for the motherland?"

God replied: "Immigrants will not add chaos to the motherland."

The reporter asked again, "What do you think is a sign of patriotism?"

God replied, "Immigrants add chaos to capitalism."

24. Netizen: When I first opened a room with my girlfriend, I met the police to make rounds.

God replied: The policeman said to his girlfriend, Why are you always there? !

25. Why do we get together to discuss the college entrance examination composition instead of math or physics?

Netizen: Because this is the only thing we can understand now.

26. Netizen asked: My boyfriend and I are in conflict. Am I pushing too hard?

God replied: it's too loose.

27. What TV did we watch? Finally, the hero and heroine got married and the TV ended. What does this mean?

God replied: as long as you get married, there will be no future.

28. Why do cats like to stare at each other every time they shovel cat excrement? Do they care about their poop?

God replied: after you went to the toilet, you saw an alien take your shit away. Don't you want to watch it with the past, trip him up in time and let him throw it in his face?

29. Do you usually go to a super five-star hotel to eat, call a waiter or a waitress?

God replied: call the waiter when you eat, and call the lady when you are finished.

30. When I heard a particularly nice song, I only remembered that the lyrics were "A biscuit is not as thin as a needle". Ask for a song title!

God replied: You know Macau, that's not my real name.