Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Seek Liu Chengzhang's two articles: ① sheep want colorful clouds; 2 The speed of the Yellow River, I tolerate you! ~ ~ ~ It's easy to get extra points! ~

Seek Liu Chengzhang's two articles: ① sheep want colorful clouds; 2 The speed of the Yellow River, I tolerate you! ~ ~ ~ It's easy to get extra points! ~

Sheep want clouds.

Transfer wine area

Stepping on the thin snow, I came to Zhaojiagou. It's more than eighty miles from here to Yan 'an. The village is small, but dozens of stone kilns have been newly installed. Seen from a distance, it is clean and tidy and dusty. All the doors rang, the windows were lit, and red couplets and window grilles were put up. The richness of life, the enthusiasm of the Spring Festival, and the joy in the hearts of the villagers, like an altar of wine, are fragrant and straight to the heart.

On the playground of the school in front of the village, the snow has been swept away, and a group of neatly dressed male members are digging holes to plant sorghum stalks. I don't need to ask, they are preparing for the turn of the Nine Songs.

I'm here to see the nine songs.

According to legend, Jiuqu, also known as Jiuqu Yellow River Array, was an ancient array in China. Later, when people in northern Shaanxi celebrated the New Year, they arranged lanterns according to this arrangement, so that people could wander around and have fun. It's called turning nine songs. Although my clothes were buried on the Yanhe River and I grew up drinking Yanhe River, I never had a chance to appreciate its elegance. A few years ago, the world was so noisy, who had the heart to make a scene? Now, the grain output in Yan 'an area has greatly increased, and the people have lived a happy life. This ancient custom of celebrating the Spring Festival is about to bloom again in people's hearts: there are troubles in the city and troubles in the countryside. Because of years of writing and writing, I prefer the strongest local flavor, so I arrived here not far from Wan Li.

After chatting with me for a while, the members got to know me well and played a joke on a young man. I just noticed that the young man still has big sideburns. Once upon a time, the wind that smoked the south window actually blew into this remote ravine. An old man named Yang made fun of "big sideburns":

"Ah! Say you are a man and your hair has grown so long; Say you are a woman, don't braid your hair! "

This sentence caused a laugh. "Big sideburns" smiled and twisted the ugly boy's arm, and he dodged the crowd. I think the action of "big sideburns" is still simple and lovely.

In his thirties, the captain, looking dignified and strong, also laughed with everyone. Calm down, but he seriously said to "big sideburns":

Qiu Shan forced you to end up! I made a promise: no pushing, no taking part in the nine turns! ""big sideburns "twisted his neck unconvinced, but his face was red. He dug a hole and bowed his head and said nothing.

I watched it for a long time, and the sorghum stalks they planted were just the opposite of those planted in the ground. Hair tips down, hair roots up, hair roots all trimmed. I asked what was going on and the captain said:

"A lamp should be placed on each sorghum stalk." I know. Sorghum stalks are used as lampposts. "The hair root is up, and the lamp can be put aside after it is trimmed."

It was stupid of me to think that the lamp was hung by a rope. Stupid as hell. If you don't come here to have a look, where will you know there are these secrets?

When the captain saw that I was tired from walking, he left what he was doing, led me into the village and arranged for me to rest in the kiln. After staying for an hour, I heard that a lamp was being made in the upper courtyard kiln, so I cut it off eagerly.

I heard women talking and laughing in the distance. When we entered the kiln, everyone was busy: some made lamps, some made light rafts, and some made lampshades. The lamp capsule is cut with potatoes, cut into squares, circles and pentagons, and then an oil pit is dug on it, and it is finished. As for the light raft, the "bend" on the top of the sorghum stalk, that is, the slender part of the spike, is cut in half and cut into one inch. Every two sections are tied into a cross with a wick, and the wick stands at the intersection of the cross. When in use, the lamp raft floats on the lamp oil. The lampshade is very beautiful. It is made of red and green paper.

I'm really surprised at the skillful hands of women. Almost everything they make is handicrafts, which can be put out for exhibition. I can't help but praise a few words. A girl spoke:

"The old pockmarked man is full of flowers, so stop making fun of people!"

What she blurted out was actually a very vivid trip to heaven. Her tone is like playing the piano. I can't help but pay attention to her: wearing a red coat, the oval face is white and clean, and there seems to be wisdom hidden between the eyebrows. Judging from my accent, my hometown must be Sui and Mi areas. I said, "How dare you joke? I can't even learn! "

"Stop giving people 2.5 feet!" She brushed her hair. "There is no one in Sichuan who is more porcelain than me." I want to see my smart wife. She is in the kiln next door! "

People say this woman's name is Ye Ye.

Just then, there was a bang on the window lattice, like the sound of a small stone. The women all laughed, but only foliage bowed its head. _ A daughter-in-law who scraped the lamp smiled and said, "Yaya, please go, I can't wait!"

"Tell him to wait! I am anxious for him! " +Ye Ye said. Her face turned red.

I had guessed who called her, but it was not convenient to joke when I first arrived, so I went to find a smart wife.

The girl group sitting in the kiln next door, though with her grandson in her arms and wrinkled face, is really a "clever daughter-in-law" that makes people fall for it. She is cutting paper for the big lantern. I was dumbfounded. Without drawing any patterns, as soon as the scissors fell, she cut out a yangko team: there were forty or fifty yangko players with different faces and vivid dance steps. It only takes about twenty minutes to cut. The women said that when she was young, she also gave Chairman Mao a performance of cutting window grilles.

I haven't seen how Jiuqu actually turns. What I saw was the preparation of nine songs, but my heart was full of excitement.

After dinner, thin snowflakes began to fall. At dinner, the fragrance of oil cake, glutinous rice and wine, mixed with the charm of snowflakes, spread in the mountain village. Laughing and laughing all day, I also integrated into it, and my voice became louder. Then, gongs and drums rang, suona rang, and the white dog or black dog squatting on the alkali bank at home also scrambled to grab the land and called away. Men and women, old and young, yangko players, like water, flock to the school playground-it's time to turn nine songs!

I was caught in the crowd and strode with the captain. Snowflakes fell on my face, cold and itchy. Whose child ran straight ahead and almost tripped me; The captain quickly helped me, scolding the child and telling me to be careful and walk slowly. In fact, he walked faster and faster, and then he simply dragged me to run. I know in my heart that the village has turned nine times for the first time in many years, and the captain is afraid of chaos and is in a hurry. Run, run. I have been used to climbing this mountain in my hometown since I was a child. Not that delicate. I'm willing to run, too. Take a sneak peek!

Nine lights flashed before our eyes. At first glance, the stars are bright, illuminating the ravines and snowflakes flying all over the sky. For a moment, I felt as if I had seen such a scene. Oh, I remember. I have seen it. The day after the National Day last year, I flew back to Xi 'an from the capital and looked at the lights in the ancient city. Isn't it very similar to this? However, the scale is much larger, and tonight is just a microcosm of it; However, at the moment, the lights are arranged vertically and horizontally, together with thousands of snowflakes with halo, creating a dazzling and confusing scene, which is even more charming than what I saw that time.

I saw ten big lanterns hanging high on the playground. The paper-cut of the Yangko team cut by the "clever daughter-in-law" is stuck on these lanterns. Suddenly, did the yangko team on the lantern jump down? Why are colored silks flying everywhere?

With the suona sound of gongs and drums, the Yangko team, led by the umbrella head, swam into the light first. The flower umbrella in the hand of the "umbrella head" should fall with the sound of gongs and drums and rotate round and round, just like floating on the whirlpool of the Yellow River. The colorful silks in the hands of the Yangko players are constantly dancing, like clouds smeared on the sky of the Yellow River. When the umbrella rotates, the shining snowflakes also rotate; When colorful silk flies, so do shiny snowflakes. This flower umbrella, this colored silk, as well as these snowflakes and smiling faces, are all illuminated by lights, all spinning in the nine waves, intoxicated.

I was dazzled and amazed by the graceful and unrestrained dance of the Yangko team. I have worked in a professional troupe for many years and am familiar with many actors. Some are very artistic, but few people can show such passion. The yangko team that was laid off by the "clever daughter-in-law" should also feel ashamed. I think this nine-lantern dance yangko team can also be said to be cut, but it is cut with traditional realistic giant scissors and stuck to the huge lanterns of our beautiful life.

I swam in with the crowd. It seems that all the light in the world is gathered here at once. Lights are on, eyes are on, smiling faces are on, figures are on, and even the blowing wind is on. Pieces of flying snowflakes, with apertures, are like small flying lights. I see that in our bright team, there are bright old people, bright wives and bright children holding hands by bright mothers. Everyone in the village-from the age of 89 to the toddler-is probably here. One by one bright, smiling, light-footed, stepping on drums, stepping on snowflakes, swimming happily in the light.

My heart also lit up, and an associative rainbow rose. I think these lights are more like blooming mountain flowers; People fly around like butterflies, flapping their bright wings; I think these lanterns are more like a mature sorghum, people are more like holding a sickle, more like holding a polished sickle and singing cheerful songs; I also think that China's lanterns are neat, line by line, more like a staff of a beautiful movement, more like a vibrating string, and people are more like dancing bright notes. There was a burst of laughter and I saw people looking behind me together. I quickly turned my face, and it turned out that it was Grandpa Yang next to me, who actually twisted the yangko. He shook off patches of light and snowflakes. It seems that he used to be a good yangko player with beautiful arms and legs, but now he deliberately exaggerates his movements to make people happy. After he had a good time, I asked:

"Uncle, how old are you?"

"Sixteen," he replied with a smile. A ray of light and a few snowflakes shook off my eyebrows.

"Sixty." The captain explained, "When he was young, Comrade Zhou Enlai taught him to write."

"You are so happy!" In the sound of gongs and drums, I looked at Uncle Yang and raised my voice. I think there is a ray of light in my eyes and a few snowflakes in my mouth.

"I was happy then, but now I am happy. A few years later, "my uncle said with a sigh," Happiness, I got a begging stick in a black hole! " After a while, he said, "Don't say that. I just want you to know that last year alone, I hit eight thousand kilograms of grain! "

Yang couldn't restrain his joy any longer. He asked me to tell the old comrades who had worked in Yan 'an that Yan 'an was prosperous again, just as it was in mass production. Everyone has food and clothing, and he likes embarrassment. I hope they can all come back to see the gloomy rhyme when they have a chance, but it just flashes in people's minds and disappears. Everything in front of me is so bright. But I suddenly remembered "big sideburns". I was a little disappointed that I couldn't see him around. I couldn't help poking the captain who walked in front of me, saying that he shouldn't give such a strict order to keep the young man out of the happy crowd. The captain waved and pointed to our left:

"Isn't that right? Here he comes! "

I glanced at a few lanterns, and when I looked carefully, it was him, but he had already bought them and still had the same hairstyle as other young people. Who is the girl in front of him? So affectionate with him, he turned and smiled, stuffed something for him, and he swallowed it in one gulp. Even snowflakes and lights are swallowed up and crossed together. I finally recognized the girl as Ye Ye. The captain said:

"A pair of lovers. Don't let big sideburns, in fact, it means branches and leaves. The woman is amazing and says she wants to keep it. Without saying anything, she blew it! I can help them. The captain's voice seems to contain light and light. Under the illumination of nine songs, everything is so harmonious, so full and so charming. I feel that these simple and honest farmers and I are lingering in the flickering poems.

There is a lot of snow and noise. The halo on the snowflake is also big and round. People's heads, eyebrows and shoulders are covered with a layer of snow and light, like jade carvings. It's snowing too. Who wants to leave? People are spinning and reveling more happily in the light snow.

After a lamp, there is another lamp. Each lamp is like a sign of a day, and one * * * is 365 lamps, just like a sign of a whole year. I wish people bright every day! After a lamp, there is another lamp. Nine lights, like our way forward. Our route is tortuous, and so is our road. But on the winding road, where there are difficulties and pains, just like tonight, although it is snowing, there is always light shining on us. We will never be discouraged. Even if a few sad tears sometimes fall, these tears are full of hope!

After a lamp, there is another lamp. My imagination, thoughts, became nine lights.

How attached I am! In retrospect, I really want to go back, tear up a few pieces of light, and take a poem with me, like a handkerchief given by my lover in my first love, which is often carried in the scabbard beside me. These lights will shine in every cave tonight and will definitely give the whole village a plum petal _! Second, weave a transparent and sweet dream.

I only know this one.