A short humorous joke

Humor is like a bridge, which brings people closer and bridges the gap between people. How many short humorous jokes do you know? I collected some short humorous jokes for you. Let's have a look.

Selected humorous jokes

1) One day, I was taking a bus. When the bus started, the next person on the bus ran after it, shouting "Master, wait for me" while running. I saw the driver say, "Bajie, I'm at the station ahead, and I'll wait for you there."

2) What you earn is paper, but what you use is money. Life is always there, so bitter! Advise friends, don't be pessimistic, be optimistic and natural, as long as you work hard, you will be the brightest; Bless your friends, have a safe life, and money will continue to revolve around you!

3) My ex-boyfriend sent me a message asking me to attend his wedding. I calmly answered three words: next time.

4) Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face & hellip& amphellip

5) The most painful thing in the world is to be awakened by urine after a good sleep.

6) On the way to a bus, many people crowded up from the back door, the door could not be closed, and no one invested. The driver was really angry at that time and shouted loudly, if you don't invest money, get out, or I will get out! Everyone laughed at that time!

7) Money is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's gone after use.

8) Son: "Dad, what is capital and what is labor?" Father: "well, if I borrow one hundred dollars from my neighbor's house, I will have capital." If he wants money back from me, he must work for me. "

9) Wang Guoxuan, an animal strategist, was chosen by Cobra with absolute superiority. The tiger comforted the fox and said, Brother, don't be depressed. Everyone says that your feet are always slippery, so they are not stable enough. Cobra wears a pair of glasses and looks like a cultural person.

10) making money is as quiet as a virgin, and spending money is like taking off a rabbit; Making money is as slow as a mouse and spending money as fierce as a tiger; It is hard to make money and spend countless money; Making money is eternal, and spending money is a romantic number. In fact, if you think about it carefully, why do you want to make money without spending money? So I hope you can make more money and spend more!

1 1) Because cow dung can make flowers more colorful! So flowers have been inserted in cow dung!

12) making money is like sailing against the current, tired and tired, spending money is like sailing against the current, cool and cool! Every day of earning money is like a year, which is even more difficult. Spending money is a flash in the pan, as fast as lightning. Friends, please make more money and spend money reasonably. Good luck.

13) My eyesight is very poor. For example, see the thumbtacks on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.

14) My ideal college life is to have classes at eight o'clock in the morning, go to the library in the afternoon, play games, watch movies and read books in the dormitory at night, and then go to bed at eleven o'clock on time. Who should I call to say good night before going to bed? . . . But it turns out. . There is still a gap between ideal and reality. For example, the distance between Mars and the Earth. . . . .

15) the most mispronounced Chinese character: covet J &；; Igravey & ampuacute, not in harmony with jǔyǔ, L & Iacoutengy ǔ incarnation, gap w gap ngli gap ng, w&; ku w & amp； Aacutenk & ampugrave, Siniperca chuatsi gu & igravey & ampuacute, over 80 years old; A grave odi & eacute;, gluttonous t ā oti&; Egrave, hesitate ch &；; Iacutech & ampuacuteⅾⅾǒ·ɡ· Zane ɡ, 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩 揩𾜡𾜡255 Ng，Partridge CH &； Igravech & ampugrave flatters ch m & amp； Egrave me, with rickets G not gōul &；; Oacuteu. Did you miss these words?

How many people are shouting? . . Actually, I just lie in bed and think about it&; hellip~

17) Look at you, Yushu is in the breeze, handsome and charming, everyone loves you and a hundred flowers bloom. You must be the best among scum and the beast among animals! And according to observation, you must have been short of calcium since childhood and lack of love when you grow up. Grandma doesn't hurt, and uncle doesn't. The left face owes pumping, and the right face owes kicking. The donkey saw the donkey kicking, and the pig saw the pig stepping. Born to be a cucumber, I owe it a pat! The day after tomorrow belongs to walnut, you owe it! Life is like a broken motorcycle, it needs kicking! Finding a wife is a screw, but not a screw!

Classic humorous jokes

1) Today, the princess kissed the frog and the frog became a prince. The prince knelt down and said to the princess, "Thank you for saving my beautiful and kind princess. I have another wish. " The princess blushed: "Go ahead, I will meet your requirements." So the prince took another frog out of his pocket. . . Another one. . . frog

2) Set up a shed to sell embroidery needles-the business is not big and the shelves are not small.

3) If you have a lot of homework, you can play cards with papers: "Children's Mathematics", "I teach three languages" and "I teach science!" Can't afford it, can't afford it, can't afford it, I'll run first.

4) The hardest thing in the world is not diamonds, but Conan's life! Explosion can't kill you, sea can't kill you, fire can't kill you, train can't kill you, sharp knife can't kill you, smoke can't kill you, altitude can't kill you, neck can't kill you, drunkenness can't kill you, poison can't kill you, plane crash can't kill you, poisonous gas can't kill you, machine gun can't kill you, avalanche can't kill you&; In a word, Conan never dies!

5) My router is broken. Now it's routing crying.

6) Going out in two clothes, experiencing a 360-degree three-dimensional wind, looking down at the sky, looking up at the mushroom head, slanting bangs left and right, turning a little to 28, then turning a little to 37, turning left to right punk, turning right to left punk, and becoming a quasi-punk. This wind is really all-round and multi-layered, and my sister is blown into all kinds of growls &; hellip& amphellip

7) I always thought you were cheated by a cow, but in fact you were cheated by someone.

8) Going out in two clothes, experiencing a 360-degree three-dimensional wind, looking down at the sky, looking up at the mushroom head, slanting bangs left and right, turning 28 a little, turning 37 a little, turning left to right punk, turning right to left punk, and becoming a quasi-punk. This wind is really all-round and multi-layered, and my sister is blown into all kinds of growls &; hellip& amphellip

9) "I bet I can make you forget that you are gay right now!" "But I'm not gay." "Look!"

10) Yesterday, my friend invited me to his dormitory to eat hot pot. After I went in, I saw a group of young men around a big washbasin with all kinds of hot pot ingredients and vegetables in it! It's still hot in the basin! Should I admire your creativity or courage?

1 1) The latest hilarious jokes.

12) I went to my brother's house yesterday and saw my little nephew who had been beaten by my good-natured sister-in-law. When I asked the truth, I laughed hysterically. Sister-in-law came home early and saw a maddening scene: the little nephew took a dip in the living room and then fed it to the dog spoon by spoon for more than a month. The first thing my sister-in-law does when she comes home from work every day is to pick up the puppy and kiss it.

13) Every day, there are ghost stories in the classrooms, canteens, libraries and study rooms of the school: a classmate points to an empty seat and says, there are people here &; bdquo& ampbdquo

14) have dinner with my buddy's restaurant on National Day. When the food is served, the buddy calls the waiter: Believe it or not, I can open the beer with my thumb. The waiter said in surprise, I don't believe my buddy said simply, then why don't you bring a bottle opener? !

A short humorous joke

1) Three generations went fishing together. Grandchildren were speechless when they saw grandpa holding a fishing rod. They said to his father, look at your father in a daze, silly! Dad was particularly angry and said, You talk nonsense, your dad is stupid!

2) Once I was sitting in the middle of a bus and an old lady came on the way. Stand up at once and give your seat to the old man. The old man smiled and said, "Thank you. Sit down. There are many seats in the back. " I turned around and the position behind me was all empty. .

3) If one day, you meet your ex-lover and ta's new lover in the street, please don't be sad! Someone said, "Because our mother taught us to donate old toys to people less fortunate than us ..."

4) The origin of puffs The farmer's daughter fell in love with the young herder and was opposed by her father. The farmer said that if they can put milk in the eggs, they should be together. Later, the couple made a snack that looked as crisp as an egg shell and contained frozen milk, which was approved by their father. The first pronunciation of a boy's name is Pufu, and the last pronunciation of a girl's name is Pufu. This snack is called Pufu.

5) It is said that the amount of information in a single DNA reaches bytes. In other words, the average ejaculation volume is equivalent to transmitting B data once every three seconds. Such a large amount of information can fill an iPad with a capacity, and it will take several years if it is uploaded through the Internet (bps). Man, connotation, can't afford to hurt!

6) Digital Baby Ah Wu saves the world, Poké mon Xiao Zhi travels around the world, Dragon Ball Wukong takes part in the first martial arts meeting in the world, Master China takes an examination of senior chefs, Naruto Uchiha Itachi drives a kaleidoscope sharingan, One Piece flies to the grand line, famous detective Conan solves numerous cases, and Naruto becomes the editor-in-chief of Erqi Road Forum ~ ~ Why can I only do my homework? !

7) When Shen Congwen chased him, Shen was a teacher and Zhang Dayi. Shen Congwen couldn't catch up with his suicide story for a long time, which was enough to scare the little girl. He went to the headmaster with a pile of love letters and said, "Look at Mr. Shen. He wrote it for me. I am studying now, and now is not the time to talk about these things. Unexpectedly, the principal told her, "Nothing, his article is well written. Bdquo & amp bdquo "& mdash & mdash The wicked principal is Hu Shi.

8) A man met a beautiful woman on the Internet. I opened a room and did what I had to do. Lying down for a while, I found that she couldn't answer all the topics I talked about before. Wonder! Under his repeated threats, she finally told the truth: "It was actually my mother who talked to you before!" " Just when I was shocked, she went on to say, "I don't want my mother to find a handsome guy!" " I've been there, and my mother is embarrassed to ask for it! "

According to the latest research by scientists, one hundred people took part in the experiment. After drinking twenty bottles of beer, everyone becomes extremely talkative but lacks logic, prone to crying and irritability, impulsive, driving skills decline and weight gain. So scientists have come to the conclusion that beer contains trace amounts of estrogen!

10) In the composition class, the teacher asked each student to describe his own characteristics in the simplest sentences. A classmate with acne all over his face wrote: "One wave is not flat, and another wave rises."

1 1) In a physiology class, the teacher angrily reprimanded the unruly students in the class: "Next time I catch you unruly, I will be male or female, all&; "hellip& amphellip" did not fall, and a student stood up and said, "Teacher, how can you be our physical education health teacher regardless of gender?"

12) The physics teacher talked about the principle of electricity: "Friction can generate electricity. For example, as long as you touch the cat's hair backwards, you can see the electric spark. " "God," cried a little girl, "how many cats must be kept in that power station!"

13) mom said my IQ is just how high I am, I don't know. I only know that I am a very lethal person. Many people have been hurt because of me. Some of them lost hope in life, and some even committed suicide. So I have always suspected that I have a potential superpower, and this superpower has had a particularly strong effect on my teacher for some reason. I remember the first teacher who died because of me. At that time, I was in the first grade of primary school, and my teacher took us to the wild for a natural practice class. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willows sprouting branches, the teacher couldn't help thinking of a question, so he asked, "Students, do you know how to tell the wind direction?" "I know!" A little girl in my class answered and picked up a tree from the ground. ......

14) One night, I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep at night, so I sent a short message to a sister: "If you are depressed, talk to me." Soon, my sister wrote back: "OK, what do you want to talk about? The topic is up to you! " I thought about it and replied happily: "Then let's talk about something heavier, such as&; Mdash& ampmdash your weight! " After a short silence, my sister sent me a short message, which said, "This is too heavy. Let's say something superficial, such as&; Mdash& ampmdash Your IQ! ! ! "A friend asked her boyfriend in the Department of Botany," Today is my birthday! Why don't you send me flowers? " "What?" The boy replied, "Don't you know that flowers are the genitals of plants?" Why do we have to cut off their genitals? ......

15) A philosophy teacher only got one question in the midterm exam. The topic is "What is courage?" Just when everyone is thinking hard about how to write &; A classmate of hellip& amphellip handed in a paper &; Hellip& amphellip, he didn't write a word! But he only wrote five words, "This is courage!" Absolutely! The teacher gave him full marks. But it must be in the back. Finally, the final exam. The teacher still only takes one exam. The topic this time is "This is the topic, please answer". Isn't that strange enough? Everyone still can't write, but the students handed in their papers quickly. What did he write this time? He wrote, "This is the answer, please give points &; The teacher "hellip" was angry but angry, shouting, "Boy, that's awesome!" ! Come here, I have two questions for you, if you answer them. ......