Collect classic humorous jokes

1. A steamed bread is walking on the road. Eat when you are hungry, and then it becomes steamed bread.

A steamed stuffed bun has diarrhea after eating too much, and then it becomes steamed bread.

A steamed bun was walking on the road and had an accident. He turned into a biscuit.

A steamed stuffed bun had an accident while walking on the road. He turned into a sandwich biscuit. ...

Daming's wife is going to give birth.

Daming is waiting anxiously outside the delivery room.

Suddenly, Daming heard a "wow"

After that, a nurse came out with her child in her arms.

Daming hurriedly asked if it was a man or a woman.

The nurse said, "Guess."

"A man?"

"No."

"Woman?"

"You are so smart that you can guess with two strokes."

3. One day, Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a ride.

The car is running out of gas, and there is a gas station next to it. When driving by, a sudden gust of wind blew my boyfriend's hat away.

Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her:

"I'll get my hat, you help me to refuel. 」

Not far from her boyfriend, she heard Xiaomei shout behind her:

"come on Come on! 」

4. A woman went to apply for a job, and the boss asked, "How many children do you have? 」

She replied, "Five. 」

The boss asked, "What are their names? 」

She replied, "Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming. 」

The boss asked, "They are all called Xiao Ming, so what do you want them to eat you?" 」

She said, "That's easy. As long as I call Xiao Ming, they will all come. 」

The boss asked again, "but what if you just call a child?" 」

She said, "That's easier. I just need to call him by his last name. 」

He had an accident and the car hit his head.

He was in a coma for two days and finally woke up.

When he opened his eyes, his wife was beside him.

He held his wife's hand and said earnestly:

"When I was in college, I used to make up the exam. At that time, you were with me. 」

"When all my interviews failed, you cut out the job advertisements for me by my side and asked me to apply. ......

Finally, I was in charge of a very important contract, but I screwed it up because of a small mistake, and you were still with me. 」

"Later, after I was unemployed for a period of time, I found another job, but I never got a promotion, and my efforts were not recognized.

So my position is the same as when I first entered the company, and you are still by my side ... "

His wife listened to his confession with tears in her eyes.

"Now I had an accident. When I wake up and find you still by my side, I have something to say to you ... "

She hugged her husband by the bed and sobbed deeply. Then, the husband said:

I think ... you let me down ... "

6. The dean sent a student to find the cadre of Class A in Grade Three. ...

Student: "report, find the monitor of your class!" 」

A: "He's not in. 」

Student: "Then ~ find the vice monitor of your class. 」

A: "He's not here either. 」

Student: "Is there discipline in your class? 」

Class A: "I just went out to talk. 」

Student: "Hey ... then come to the stock manager." 」

Bang bang bang!

Class A burst into applause. ...

7. Xiao Wang was walking on the road and saw a frog.

Suddenly the frog said, "please kiss me, sir, and I will become a princess. I will give you a kiss."

Xiao Wang stopped, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket and walked on.

The frog said, please kiss me quickly. I want to stay with you for a day. You can do whatever you want.

Xiao Wang took the frog out of his pocket, looked at it, smiled, put it back in his pocket and walked on.

After a while, the frog said, well, well, I'd like to stay with you for a week. Please kiss me quickly.

Xiao Wang took the frog out of his pocket again, looked at it, smiled, put it back in his pocket and walked on.

The frog said, what's the matter? Isn't a week enough? How long do you need?

Xiao Wang took out the frog and said,

I'm an engineer and I don't have time to fool around with women, but it's cool to have a talking frog.

8. A Hua tells A Gou ..

Today's exam ..

I kick you. You have to look at me. ..

It's time for the exam. ...

Jane kicked the dog. ..

A Gou replied ...

.

.

Meow ~ ~ ~

9. Super composition of fifth-grade girls in primary school

Topic-me thirty years later

Xiaomei, a girl in the class, wrote: The weather is good today. I take my children to Da 'an Forest Park to play. We are driving Leslie bought by my husband, with a big diamond ring on our fingers and a gold necklace around our necks. I took my lovely children for a walk in the park, and people everywhere envied me. Suddenly, a smelly, muddy and homeless old lady rushed out of the road. Let me take a closer look ~ ~ ~ Oh, my God! She turned out to be my fifth-grade Chinese teacher! ............

10, a beggar wrote two lines on the ground.

One row is: asking for help. ......

The other row is: asking for help or something. ......

1 1, alas, it's hard to sell cucumbers when couples have more these days. ..............

12, CET-4, a classmate is going to roll the dice to do multiple-choice questions.

He said: 1234-ABCD!

Q: What should I do if I throw it at 5 or 6?

Say: Reward again!

13. As a man, you should be a man like King Kong, masturbating for the woman you love on the tallest building in the world. ............

14, the last thing you want to happen when you barbecue: 1. Cook the meat with you; 2. Charcoal plays cold; 3. Clams are autistic; 4. The barbecue grill is cracked; 5. There is no kindling; 6. Meat and shelves engage in small groups; 7. Sausage meat plays gangster with you; 8. Black wheel puncture; 9. Onions play dumb with you; 10. Corn will play hardball with you!

15, you said: I love you 52 1

He also said: 365 per day

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Result = 886

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