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Humorous short stories

Husband: "In my opinion, Columbus had absolutely no wife. Otherwise he can't find any continent. " Wife: "Why do you think so?" Husband: "If he has a wife, before going to sea, she will definitely ask, where are you going?" Why are you going? Go with who? How long will it take? Why? Wife: "Of course Columbus should make these things clear! "

2, newly married, the wife complained to her husband: "Parents are too anxious, urging us to have children every day, saying that we should have grandchildren early." The husband comforted: "Mom is a little anxious, and Dad didn't say anything!" " My wife said gloomily, "Dad didn't say anything in his mouth, but he held Sun Tzu's Art of War in front of me all day."

3. Girlfriend: Can we break up? Boyfriend: No girlfriend: Why? Boyfriend: Just like the buns in this canteen. If you take a bite, will people change it for you? Girlfriend: But you are not as good as I thought. Boyfriend: Just like the buns in this canteen. You wanted to eat meat buns, but you took them by mistake. You took a bite, but you didn't want to change it for you. Did you throw them away? Make do with it. Girlfriend: Oh …

We work in a hotel. One day, the guest in the room (Mandarin is not standard) called the waiter (a pure little girl): "Waiter, send me a box of jasper." Later, the guests saw a box of chicken wings she sent, which was a mess.

If I can do this one day, I will ask foreigners to take the CET-4 and CET-6! Classical Chinese is so simple that all questions are answered with a brush, which is very cheap for them and annoying for me. Everyone has a knife and a tortoise shell, and Oracle Bone Inscriptions is engraved on it. The topic of the thesis is on Theory of Three Represents. The listening is all Jay Chou's songs, and nunchakus has only been heard once. Reading comprehension is about Zhouyi. The oral test requires singing Peking Opera, and the experiment includes jiaozi!

6. The married man said to the family lawyer, "I am determined to divorce. My wife always goes to the bar of 1 1 every night. " "So? That's unforgivable. What is she going to do? " Asked the family lawyer. "Go and get me back!"

7. Two people were bickering, and suddenly a person next to them said, "You are really full and have nothing to do!

8. A gentleman went to take a driver's license test. During the oral examination, the examiner asked, "You saw a dog and a man in front of the car. Did you run over the dog or the man?" Without thinking, the gentleman replied, "Of course, he ran over the dog." The examiner shook his head and said, "Come back next time." The gentleman is not convinced: "I don't run over dogs, do I run over people?" The examiner reprimanded loudly: "You should brake."

I ate in a restaurant yesterday. A buddy ordered pig's head rice and a buddy ordered pig's foot rice. When the waiter brought the rice to the table, Brother Yi said, "Wrong, wrong, he is a pig's foot and I am a pig's head."

10, sitting in the office, said to the business runner, "How nice it is to run a business, romantic and chic."

The person who runs the business said to the person sitting in the office, "How nice it is to sit in the office. It's warm in winter and cool in summer. How dare I compare with you! "

1 1. When I was in primary school, I once had a Chinese class and read an article by Qiu. The teacher asked me to stand up and read aloud. One of them was "He looked at it with angry eyes", which was later read as "He looked at it with angry eyes". The teacher corrected: "It is angry". At that time, I was out of my mind and watched it again: "He looked at it with angry eyes." At that time, the teacher said, "I still spray stones!" "

12, who invented the baby, an alien creature, completely unable to communicate, naked, without any documents. The standby time is extremely short, charging every two hours, and the power consumption is amazing. It is impossible to return the goods or get three guarantees. It randomly needs a lot of peripheral accessories, and the ringtone is annoying. The voice system and operating system need to be installed slowly by yourself, and they are also limited purchases.