Two or three things between me and the train

if I gave you a story, where would you like to start?

my answer is-on the train.

I hope my story begins on the train.

of course, it is.

ricoeur once said, "If you think you can live without writing, then don't write."

In the foam of a long time, it seems to be full, but in fact, it has faded the feeling of writing, but there is always one thousandth of a second, like a sudden tingle, and the rusty brain sends a trembling electric wave to convey the whole body, telling itself-hey, look, this is the story you want. As far as I am concerned, the impulse of this drama often happens on the train.

I like taking the train.

I like waiting before the arrival of the train, the vivid hawking of the train attendants, the scenery whistling outside the train, and the stories that happened on the train. Naturally, I don't want it to interpret Agatha's fantastic journey on the Orient Express, and I don't have a meaningful memory as long as a railroad track in Yu Guangzhong's works. Even the couple in Chi Zijian's novels who waved their hands when the trains were facing each other were too dramatic.

The train in my story, the story on the train, belongs to me, only.

The first time I took the train, I was probably young, and I didn't have a strong stroke. I searched hard, but I only faintly felt the oncoming wind of the train, and that sentence was completely comparable to Columbus's impulsive cry of discovering the new continent-Ah! Train! The train is coming!

The story on the train really started one night when I was in the third or fourth grade of primary school. My mother took me back to Guangde from my grandmother's house in the city. It took only one hour to travel, but I have traveled today. There were few people on that train, and the carriages were empty. It happened that we were sitting diagonally opposite a mother and daughter. That girl hung her head and painted on white paper. Maybe my powerful pick up hot chicks skill was already revealed at that time. I like painting very much, and somehow, I drew with the girl. Because of this, the two mothers chatted. It turns out that they are from Hangzhou, girls are my age, and this trip has just ended and returned to Hangzhou.

I didn't want to describe in detail what we painted together that night, or what our mothers talked about, because it must be admitted that time has passed for too long, and what happened later seems trivial. What I want to say is that it must be of great significance to me at that time, because I met a friend from other places, and because I just learned to write letters at that time, encouraged by my mother, who is the deputy teacher of Chinese, we tore a long piece of white paper from the picture book, solemnly wrote down the contact information, and promised that we must communicate, continue to communicate and continue to be friends when we get home. That kind of sense of ceremony can be comparable to that of hanging by a hook for 1 years.

after what happened here, maybe it's time to write the story of our subsequent correspondence in detail. However, it seems that the promise was made in order not to be realized. I didn't write to her, and naturally I didn't receive her letter. What matters in many things may not be itself, but the person who happened. I always think that if I forget it later, there is naturally nothing to say. But the fact is quite different. The terrible thing is not that I didn't write a letter. The terrible thing is that I have always hung this matter in my heart and carefully folded the note in the drawer. It was not until many years later that my home was renovated that it disappeared. At first, my mother urged me to say something like "Did you write to that girl?" And "Since you promised to write, you should write." Later, I must have forgotten it gradually, but I seem to have been waiting for an opportunity, an opportunity for me to tell her something suddenly, or I want to write back, and I want to wait for a letter. I look forward to what kind of life girls of the same age in distant cities at that time lived every day, how they studied and what they liked to play. I also imagined countless times what kind of sensation she would cause in class when she received a letter from a distant city. Regrettably, everything is a vision, everything is an imagination, and it has always been the kind of heart that is willing to be passive, afraid of taking the initiative, but restless.

After three years of high school, I went to school in the city, and the frequency of taking the train was much higher than that of taking the bus. I even joked with my classmates that I was a person who took the train as a bus. The most chic time was after Saturday's class, I even put my schoolbag at school, with only enough money to buy a train ticket and the key to my home in my pocket. I rushed to the train station and went home without any burden, so that when I opened the door, I saw my mother looking puzzled. The saddest time was the night before I left for high school. My dog Xiaoya was stolen, and I cried all the way to school on the train with my sketchpad on my back, which laid the bleak tone for my three years in high school.

The most profound time was on the way back to school from home in Grade Two. I was sitting in my seat bored and looking around. I accidentally found the door of the train carriage, leaning against two teenagers and high school students. But at first glance, I knew that it was not a kind person, with a standard non-mainstream hairstyle and a guitar on my back. One of them seemed to be smoking. Originally, I just swept it unconsciously, because the alien observed it for a while and looked closely, only to find that the boy hanging around with slippers was actually an old friend.

I am a gossip-loving and jealous person. Since I was a child, I have annoyed more or less people because of gossip, but I have never changed my mind. Also because of jealousy, I am tired of more or less people, and it is getting worse. But for him, it doesn't apply, because he is a person who is willing to create gossip himself, and I only admired him since I was a child, even if I didn't want to admit it at that time.

He is my primary school monitor, a classmate who has only been in the same class for four years. He has a lot of labels on his body, congenital heart disease and a long centipede-like wound crawling on his stomach. Imagination is developed, and the previous class meeting class has always been his special session. He always tells stories to our class extemporaneously, and even the class teacher listens with relish. When I was in the sixth grade, I serialized a novel in the county newspaper, but the theme of the novel turned out to be online chat, and I didn't even have QQ at that time. After junior high school, we never went to the same school again, and he slowly lived in all kinds of rumors, chasing all kinds of girls, and even the girls in our class have pen pals, and he has been in contact with different schools since elementary school; In order to be a junior, I fought with people at school and was resigned as the president of the student union by the teacher. Then I took advantage of the opportunity to grab business with the only canteen in the school and sell all kinds of snacks wholesale. Gangsters Dangdang can also be admitted to the experimental class of the county high school, and gave up the opportunity to study in the city. As soon as they entered the high school, they became lawless, continued to talk about all kinds of girlfriends, and began to play music. They claimed to have established the first underground band in the county, and performed at the school party only to tell a girl who had always loved Barabara. At that time, they felt that the plot in all romance novels could be interpreted on him, and all kinds of gossip could be heard from all kinds of friends. Of course, not all of them are like this. In fact, I also know that his grades began to decline sharply after he skipped classes in high school. He was dismissed from the science experimental class by the teacher to the liberal arts class, and the seed player in the eyes of the teacher became a joke in his classmates' mouths, saying that he was arrogant and naive. When a girl who once had a crush on him for many years talked to me about him, she said that once he brought her into himself.

I am still willing to talk about him in my memory, enjoying his imagination, his wanton debauchery and his chic. Many years later, my friend told me that he was admitted to an ordinary one after repeating the college entrance examination, but he didn't finish his freshman year, so he dropped out of school to start a business. I didn't know whether it was a floating experience now, and I wasn't surprised, because I knew that this was him, and this was the teenager I met on the train in my sophomore year, leaning against the door and carrying a guitar. It was the last time we met. On that one-hour journey, I tried to pretend to pass by him casually several times, and then I said hello to him and talked about the current situation. But I, Huang Xun, a boring turtle, couldn't stick my head out and say hello to people. So, until I got off the bus, I still chose to get off at another door and left timidly, without even looking back at him. When I walked out of the gate of the railway station, I was just about to regret that when I didn't talk to him in the car, I was patted on the back. I always turned around with a strong reflex arc, not others, but him! He greeted me happily and said that he didn't expect to meet me here. I said to him, I didn't expect to meet you here. Why are you here? He suddenly smiled, realized that I was going back to school in the city, and explained to me that he was going to buy a ticket to Wuhu, so I'll talk to you next time. So he waved and left with his companions. My mind is full of doubts. It is clear that the next day is Monday, and it is clear that everyone has to study at night on Sunday night. What is he doing in Wuhu at this time? But think about it, this is him, and there is nothing to doubt.

talk to you next time, and when? Wave, it's good to meet you.

On the train, most people we meet are passers-by. For example, most of us have never entered the memory of countless trains, and there are few episodes that have left a mark on our memories, such as the girl who left contact information with each other but never contacted each other, or the old friend who met after a long separation and never met again, such as the teenager who waved away with his guitar on his back. The latter two are lucky, for the memory itself. But the wonder of the story is that it is not the luckiest thing to meet them. The impulse that inspired me to write now is not mainly due to them, but the gift that made you endure such a long space in front of you. It is precisely these that show the interest of other parts of the story.

when I was in college, I went all the way south to Guangzhou. My family is not rich, and I am always strangely stingy in some places. I have not chosen to fly, but take the train every time, which is often close to 24 hours' drive a day and a night, and what I want to emphasize is that I "take" the train. Because berth tickets are difficult to grab, I can only get a seat ticket many times. In the winter of my freshman year, I came home from school for the winter vacation. After half price, I kept a 98-yuan ticket firmly in my bag, because there were very few fellow villagers I knew at school, and I was basically alone on the train. I usually chose to spend more than 2 hours reading a novel on the train. I read all three volumes of 1q84 on the train before and after. On that train, I was alone as usual, but I didn't read a book afterwards. Because as soon as I got on the bus, I heard the girl next to me talking into the phone with an accent I am very familiar with. As you know, I am a very introverted person, unwilling to take the initiative to associate with others, but that time, I was very excited, and then I opened my mouth to tease that sister.

"Please, are you from Xuancheng? I hear your accent is very similar."

I expanded her hometown to the whole city in my heart.

"Oh, I'm not"

Her answer threw cold water on me.

"haha, I'm sorry, because I heard your accent on the phone like Xuancheng, and I thought you were."

"Ah, I'm not from Xuancheng, but I'm from Guangde."

I went there. At that time, my heart was ecstatic, and I was still a direct fellow countryman. This sister's hometown is really accurate.

So, we skipped the tearful meeting between fellow villagers, the train started, and we chatted.

It turns out that she is a senior in a neighboring school who is one year older than me, and because she didn't get a berth ticket, she chose to take a hard seat. Although we are fellow villagers, our only experience in the same school goes back to kindergarten, but this does not prevent us from chatting. She studies well, and the schools are 985 and 211. Unfortunately, her university headquarters is adjacent to mine, but she is not in this campus. As a senior, she spoke to me about the vernacular of Guangzhou, the weather in Guangzhou, and some things about college clubs. What impressed me most was that she was very excited to introduce me to the club reception she had just organized at school. For me, who was only a rookie at that time, I was completely addicted to the audience. As a result, it always seems to be a particularly long trip home. At that time, we unconsciously arrived at the station and the train station platform during the chat, and we also met our parents. After a few words of greeting, say goodbye. Although parents don't know each other, my mother can even tell her parents' work units and names a few days later. It turns out that she chatted with her friends about this. After a few words, she found out that she was a friend of a friend, and then she sighed with emotion that the county was small.

To tell the truth, it was very pleasant and exciting to get along with each other one day and one night. After all, I got to know my fellow villagers in such a far place in Guangzhou, but one day and one night was too short. Everyone seemed to think of it as a temporary coincidence, and they were just traveling companions. Although we said that we would contact each other and meet again after returning to school, we didn't ask each other's contact information very tacitly. Even I didn't know if we had asked each other's names at that time. So, I gradually forgot that when I mentioned that school by chance, I might even talk to my friends on a whim. Hey, you know, I once met a teacher elder sister here on the train home. As far as I am concerned, she may be just like that little girl in the third and fourth grades, only once.

Next, the time is condensed into one sentence: One year later, I was a sophomore, and a few years later, I was a senior and graduated.

when I became a college student village official, I made a choice actively or passively, because I chose to take the exam and because it was the only one who wanted me. There are 12 village officials in the same batch. At this time, recalling the self-introduction of colleagues in the organization department for the first time, none of us should have predicted what would happen later. I am a particularly slow-witted person. In a new environment, I always show more rejection to the outside world, but I have to resist with my heart. Like a double-faced villain, on the one hand, I introduce myself and tell myself that I should take the initiative to be cheerful, on the other hand, I hold myself back now, unwilling to meet new people and touch new things. Perhaps it is this mentality that makes me always feel that I am wretched and passive in Nuo Nuo, which is not enough. Fortunately, I have encountered many such situations, and I have gradually adapted myself. So, when I got along with my colleagues at first, I kept my own pace.

Even after several months, I was still so far away from my new colleagues. At a party, we were brought together as volunteers. When people get together, they always want to chat. It is most painful for people like me who are not familiar with each other and don't know how to talk about it. But fortunately, most of us just graduated from college, so it should be the easiest to talk about college. So, because when we introduced ourselves for the first time, we already knew