The distant bridge

In Guangzhou in June, the sun is very fierce, and the sun burns your skin, causing a sudden burning sensation.

A thin figure jumped off the Liede Bridge, causing a slight splash of water in the flowing Pearl River.

People are still coming and going on the bridge, and cars are stopping and starting.

Three days later, Chen Yang’s grieving parents came from their hometown in Hunan and took back his urn.

1

Southwestern Hunan, connected to Yunnan and Guizhou on the left, has mountains and ravines, long-term transportation inconvenience, and lagging economic development.

Young men and women from various townships, towns, villages and villages dropped out of school early, like birds flying south en masse, fluttering their wings and diving into the scattered factory buildings in the Pearl River Delta.

There are also a group of young people who persist on campus. From the primary school in the village to the junior high school in the town, to the high school in the county, passing the college entrance examination, admitted to the provincial capital, and went to other provinces.

Chen Yang is the child who was admitted to the provincial capital.

2

Chen Yang has a brother and a sister, both of whom dropped out of school due to family poverty and went out to work early. Only Chen Yang in the family has been studying.

Chen Yang is thin and introverted. He doesn’t have many playmates in the village. During holidays, he mostly helps his parents herd cattle, cut grass and raise poultry.

Chen Yang’s home is located in the west of the village. There are two brick houses surrounded by a yard of thirty to forty square meters. The room is not big, and it seems crowded if there are just a few things placed. There is a narrow bed in the middle, where Chen Yang's mother and niece live. The bed against the wall in the main room is where Chen Yang's father sleeps.

Chen Yang has been smart since he was a child and has excellent grades. He gets certificates in every exam. My parents were happy to see the certificates, so they posted them on the wall of the main room. When Chen Yang was admitted to college, the entire wall of the hall was covered with certificates, and the faces that looked like laughing people looked like shining stars. Relatives, friends and neighbors all came to visit and praised her. Chen Yang's parents laughed happily every time.

Every time when Chen Yang went back for vacation, he walked to the entrance of the village, and the villagers would shout that the college students were back.

His parents were happy, his neighbors were envious, and years of praise slowly gave birth to a hint of arrogance in Chen Yang. He was quiet and submissive at school, but he would make a lot of noise to his parents when he got home.

Unlike other students who live on campus, Chen Yang is not excited about the arrival of the weekend. For others, weekends are rare family time, but for Chen Yang, returning home can only face a house with only four walls and parents who are trapped in a tired life.

Poverty is like ink slowly soaking in, which has dyed the whole family black, so black and shiny that water cannot wash it away.

The night after returning home, Chen Yang and his father slept together on the small bed in the main room.

For many nights, the moonlight squeezed in through the cracks in the door like a thief, and the chirping of insects and birds wandered with the night wind, sometimes near and sometimes far away. Chen Yang was lying on the bed without feeling sleepy. In a cramped room and a poor family, Chen Yang's heart seemed to be oppressed by a stone door, and he kept trying to raise his arms to prevent the stone door from falling.

Three

Finally passed the college entrance examination, Chen Yang was admitted to a prestigious university in the provincial capital.

The county held the annual "Love and Dream University" charity event, and Chen Yang was selected into the final list of 20 people. Most of the students on the list are from poor backgrounds and have excellent academic performance. Through the government, companies or individuals provide one-to-one financial support to students to complete their college studies.

Chen Yang was supported by a moderately successful private owner in the county who also came from a poor background.

On the first day of school, the sponsor drove Chen Yang and his father to Changsha to go through the enrollment procedures.

The sponsor will deposit the monthly living expenses into Chen Yang’s account on time, and there has never been a delay. The two of them would also chat about the current situation from time to time.

University passed quickly. Chen Yang graduated successfully and joined a company in Changsha. The newcomers arrived and the company was average, so Chen Yang was not satisfied. The sponsor happened to be in Changsha on a business trip. When they met for dinner, the sponsor encouraged Chen Yang to take a postgraduate entrance examination.

A year later, the good news that Chen Yang was admitted to graduate school reached his hometown.

Being admitted to a prestigious school again, re-entering campus, and getting a higher degree makes everything slowly take on color like a flower.

Four

With the help of scholarships, grants and some usual work-study programs, Chen Yang can gradually take care of his daily expenses.

Graduate students do not have to sit in class every day. They spend more time working on projects and writing papers with their tutors. The tutors also provide monthly living allowances.

It was a time of freedom. There was no need to see the sorrow of the situation in his hometown, and there was no humility of receiving support. In the sky where Chen Yang lived, the dense dark clouds began to crack and the sunlight penetrated.

Chen Yang began to participate in some on-campus sororities, where there were boys and girls.

During social activities, this thin boy mostly chatted with everyone, occasionally telling lame jokes.

March 2017, the time when fate began.

Chen Yang finally met the first right girl in his life.

In the eyes of everyone, Chen Yang is a dry river, but in front of this girl, Chen Yang is a wanton ocean.

Love is always similar at the beginning, always resenting the short time and the lack of words.

Interesting things in learning, trivial things in life, big things seen and heard, little hobbies... they all become the seasoning of oil, salt, sauce and vinegar, cooking the feast of the relationship between the two.

The girl said that Chen Yang was so thin that people felt lovable.

From then on, inside and outside the campus, and in the streets of Changsha, there were many pairs of lovers, rubbing each other's ears.

Five

Graduation season is here in a blink of an eye. Chen Yang, who graduated from a prestigious school with excellent grades, was spotted by a state-owned enterprise in Guangzhou and offered an attractive salary. Chen Yang did not hesitate to go south to Guangzhou. , the girl who loved him also followed.

The strange city and the huge flow of people make people feel novel and frightened.

Work is like a giant beast that devours time, mercilessly eating away lovers; society is like a Shura Temple of purgatory, with bloody blades cutting into pieces the emotions and desires of mortals.

An epidemic broke out at the end of 2019. Countless people were isolated in different places and separated from each other.

The girl’s parents objected to her going south again and asked her to stay in her hometown to take the public examination.

As girls get older, marriage becomes a top priority.

A woman can be as hot as lava when it comes to love, or she can be as calm as ice when considering marriage.

Chen Yang’s salary is over 10,000 yuan, and the house price in Guangzhou is over 20,000 yuan. Chen Yang said "Don't bully young people into being poor", and the girl thought about it painfully.

Pain begins with the current situation; pain also begins with choice.

After Chen Yang saw the breakup letter sent by the girl, the whole world seemed to be thrown into a blender and turned upside down. It's like the sweetest piece of candy in a child's mouth has been pried away by life; like the straw that a drowning person is clinging to has been ruthlessly pulled away. The child who had the candy taken away was angry, helpless, and hysterical; the person who had the straw pulled away was fearful, desperate, and extremely perverse.

In early April 2020, the nationwide epidemic lockdown was lifted. Chen Yang came to Guangzhou with difficulty. In Guangzhou at this moment, the sun is no longer bright, the trees are no longer green, and the crowds are no longer happy.

Chen Yang’s calls every day went unanswered, and his messages went unanswered. For more than a month... Chen Yang finally realized with horror that he had really lost his life. My lover lost the sweetest piece of candy.

What is despair? From life to death, from love to hate.

Six

Chen Yang wrote in the last diary of his life, "At the end of my life, I hate you. I worked so hard to realize our future, to realize It's really funny that I can say that I don't love you anymore if I don't love you. It turns out that in your opinion, this kind of behavior is just a clown. Do you think this is the process of losing my acceptance in life? He said, why should I lose it? Why can't I persist? Just like this, I have lost my expectations for life, I have no strength, and I don't want to work hard.

I know there are many important people and interesting things in life, and I will meet people who really care about me. But I'm sorry, those who love me, I will also be a selfish person. "More than a month has been as heartbreaking as several years. My heartbeat no longer moves with you, because it no longer beats at all." ”

On June 26, 2020, Chen Yang sent his last text message, “If I can’t see you today, I will arrive in Shenzhen North at 6:37, or you insist not to face our past, I feel really bad, if I lose my light, I will die.”

Three hours after the text message was sent, Chen Yang jumped off the bridge.

Seven

Guangzhou Liede Bridge is more than 600 kilometers away from Chen Yang’s hometown, and these more than 600 kilometers have become the farthest distance between Chen Yang and his parents.