Meaningless humorous jokes

A collection of nonsense humorous jokes

Lead: Sometimes, a joke can clear a person's nervous mood and bring a pleasant effect. The following is a set of nonsense humor jokes I compiled. Don't miss it.

A collection of nonsense humorous jokes

1, A: Dogs are human friends and the most loyal. Some dogs have a master all their lives. Not too poor, but more valuable! What people lack now is the dog's simple, honest, loyal and capable character. How can the advantages of dogs be directly passed on to humans? I think the most direct way is to make up for what is missing!

B: Sister Ni, after a long talk, you want to eat dog meat!

2. When my son entered the room and squinted, I suddenly became angry: smelly boy, did you do this to your father?

Son: What's wrong?

Lao Zi: I am your Lao Zi, and you just look at me?

Son: What's wrong with despising you?

Lao Tzu: Nima, if your mother hadn't made me kneel, Lao Tzu would have slapped you in the face?

3. When mom came in: Hey, come to mom's and make you something delicious.

The son turned around and said, mom, people have goose bumps. What delicious food did you buy?

Mother picked up the poodle: What's the matter? Did I talk to you? Come and eat. Ignore him.

Son: Mom, what do you mean? Am I inferior to it in your heart?

Mom: Poodles, of course. You are single dog. You can compete with him.

4. Tang Yan? Sister Guanyin, help! Help! ?

Guanyin:? Why are you in such a hurry? Is there another demon who wants to eat your meat?

Tang Priest:? No, no, no?

Guanyin:? Why is this?

Tang Priest:? The stock market plummeted and I lost all my money. I can't live. I asked sister Guanyin for help. ?

Guanyin was furious. She threw the jade bottle in her hand into Tang Priest's face and whipped Tang Priest with wicker. I just forgot to lose money, and you still tell me, let you tell me, let you tell me ...?

5. Cui Hua went on a blind date and asked a question. Whoever meets her standards will associate with her. The question is: How long does it take you to run 1000 meters?

A fat man said:? I can run in a minute! ?

Cui Hua disdain way:? That's hypocritical. Next! ?

Another thin man came up and said, I have about three minutes, which is within the normal range! ?

Cui Hua smiled:? Great! ?

Another local tyrant said:? I didn't run a kilometer, but I ran around my 1000 meter yard in a sports car for about ten seconds! ?

Cui Hua happy way:? I hate honest people like you! ?

6. Brother, people say that my father paid the debt. Do you think that's right?

Of course it is correct.

Well, pay back the money your father owes me!

What did my dad owe you when you were wearing open-backed pants?

A ticket for my father's grave was blown to your father's grave and burned in Tomb-Sweeping Day this year? Do you think your father owes me anything? Oh, by the way, that face value100000?

Get out?

Honey, I will give you something with gold and treasure. Do you want it?

Woman: Honey, it cost you money!

The man took a box out of his pocket and said, here you are!

Woman: Nima, golden voice and throat treasure? Get out. . .

I haven't seen my second grandpa for many years. I met him at the entrance of the village that year, and I took the initiative to say hello to him. Grandpa two, do you still recognize me?

Grandpa's body is still so strong: ah ah, don't look at my age. I am deaf and blind. Who are you looking for?

? Grandpa, it's me.

? You are the third child of the Liu family! ?

? No, I'm Si Er from my hometown! ?

? Are you fourteen years old this year?

? I am twenty-five years old! ?

? You went to Mongolia, where did you go with a bag?

? My son is on my back! ?

? It's heavy, isn't it Let's leave now. What village are you from?

My voice has been raised by eight degrees: I am Si Er from my hometown! ?

? Oh, it's Si Er. I didn't recognize him. I am old, deaf and blind, but I have a bad memory! ? .

9. Big Zhang:? Don't you want to play the stock market? Why did you buy lottery tickets?

Xiao Wang:? The probability of stock rising is lower than the probability of winning the lottery! ?

10、? Boss, something is wrong! Many of our brothers died everywhere. They died in the street. What should we do?

? Boss, you'd better make an idea. This must be a violent poisoning incident! ?

? What can we do? Move this place! Save your strength and have more children! When a fly falls, thousands of maggots are born ? The big mung bean fly said with a head jar voice.

1 1, flies are noisy all day, disorganized and disorderly. So I decided to choose a leader, and finally unanimously elected a big mung bean fly as the person in charge. What is the reason? Knowledgeable and omniscient? .

Everyone asked Mungbean Fei to make a speech for his election. Mungbean Fei was very modest and said modestly: I am diligent, see? Shit? A lot, around? Toilet? I know everything. I don't know anything. By who? I don't know! ?

12, Dalin met a friend at the railway station and met a middle-aged man holding Dalin in the waiting hall. Dude, my wallet was stolen, and the fare to go home is similar. Can you give me some?

Dalin knew at a glance that he was a professional beggar and asked with a smile. Where are you going?

? Henan! ?

? How much is the ticket?

? 500! ?

? How much is that?

The middle-aged man said shyly: Not much, ten dollars short! ?

Dalin thought about it and said, in that case, I'll learn from Lei Feng! ?

The man immediately beamed and stretched out his neck waiting for Dalin to pay.

Dalin said:? I'll give you a ride. Come on, bring me that 490 yuan. I won't count if I need ten dollars! ?

? You are so cruel! ? The middle-aged man turned and left.

13, investigation team: someone reported that you took a female classmate to open a room. Is that so?

Miss Wang: It's not a room, but I help her with her homework alone?

Investigation team: What happened when someone reported you kissing a girl in the office?

Miss Wang: I was whispering to her, but I got too close and accidentally bumped into her?

Investigation team: Then you put your hand under the girl's skirt during the exam and were photographed. How do you explain this?

Miss Wang: This?

Investigation team: Say it!

Miss Wang: Huh? Actually, I took that exam just to find out the answer?

14, I traveled to Africa and passed a cannibal tribe. Seeing a woman cutting something, I was curious and wanted to go and have a look. I asked him: What are you cutting? Woman's answer: I just caught a corrupt official who escaped from China, and now I chop him up for the patriarch! I asked again: Is this the only meat stuffing with no other ingredients? The woman smiled and said, young man, you look like a layman. Don't scream here? Meat stuffing? We all call him? scum of society

15, Second Brother: Did you say that, teacher? Good memory is better than bad writing? As long as you do more, you will get something!

Teacher: Is that why you took cheat sheets in the exam?

16, just stepped onto the overpass, a breeze blew, and the short skirt of a girl in front was blown up, and suddenly the spring was suddenly released. The second brother wiped his mouth after reading it and said, it seems that nature is man's best friend!

17, Husband: Wife, you must know that you must eat more and eat well during pregnancy. So that children can have enough nutrition?

Wife: Bullshit! It's me. I am pregnant. You ate and disposed of everything, didn't you?

18, Lao Li was brave and seriously injured, and leaders at all levels came to visit.

The mayor said that Lao Li is a model for the people of the city;

The county magistrate said that Lao Li is the pride of the people of the county;

The mayor said that Lao Li is the banner of the whole town people;

The village chief said, Lao Li, let me apply for a minimum living allowance for you.

Lao Li, who had been silent for a long time, finally spoke: village head, you are still good to me!

19, Xiaoming: Teacher, are you biased?

Teacher: What's wrong with me?

Xiaoming: When a girl goes to the toilet, you always follow her. Why don't you come in with us when our male classmates go to the bathroom?

Teacher: Because I am a female teacher. .....

Xiaoming: Do female teachers only care about female classmates?

Teacher: ... get out. ...........

20. Boy: Principal, I want to complain!

Principal: Well, what's the complaint?

Boy: The head teacher is too eccentric. ....

Principal: Eccentric? That won't do, you should treat your classmates equally!

Boy: That's right. .....

Principal: By the way, what does your head teacher do?

Boy: She often takes a bath in the public bathroom with her female classmates, but never with our male classmates. ....

Principal: Get out. .......

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