Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - What are the stories of men who have been able to bend and stretch throughout the ages?
What are the stories of men who have been able to bend and stretch throughout the ages?
1. Han Xin's crotch humiliation
A young man among the Huaiyin butchers insulted Han Xin and said: "Although you are tall and like to wear swords, you are actually a coward." And again in public. He insulted him and said: "If you are not afraid of death, stab me with a sword; if you are afraid of death, crawl under my crotch."
So Han Xin looked at him carefully, lowered his body, Lying on the ground, she crawled under his crotch. People all over the street laughed at Han Xin and thought he was timid.
2. Gou Jian, the king of Yue, suffered hardships by lying on the firewood
In 496 BC, King Helu of Wu sent troops to attack the country of Yue, but was defeated by King Gou Jian of Yue. Helu was also seriously injured and died. Before that, he told his son Fucha to avenge him. Fu Chai kept his father's words in mind and stepped up his military training day and night to prepare to attack Yue.
Two years later, Fu Chai led his troops to defeat Gou Jian. Gou Jian was surrounded, had no way out, and was about to commit suicide. At this time, the counselor Wen Zhong persuaded him and said: "The minister of the State of Wu is greedy for money and lust, so you can send someone to bribe him."
Gou Jian followed Wen Zhong's suggestion and sent him to bring the treasure. Bribing Bo_, Bo_ promised to go to see the King of Wu with Wen Zhong. Wen Zhong met the King of Wu, presented his treasure and said, "The King of Yue is willing to surrender and serve you as your servant. Please forgive him."
Bo_ also spoke for Wen Zhong. Wu Zixu stood up and objected loudly: "People often say that 'to cure a disease, we must eradicate the root cause.' Gou Jian is far-sighted, Wen Zhong and Fan Li are smart and capable. If we let them go this time, they will find ways to take revenge when they go back!"
At this time, Fu Chai thought that the Yue State was no longer in danger, so he ignored Wu Zixu's advice, agreed to the Yue State's surrender, and withdrew his army to the Wu State. After the Kingdom of Wu withdrew its troops, Gou Jian took his wife and doctor Fan Li to the Kingdom of Wu to serve the King of Wu and herd cattle and sheep.
Finally won the favor and trust of King Wu. Three years later, they were released and returned to China. After Gou Jian returned to China, he was determined to become stronger and ready for revenge. He was afraid that his desire for a comfortable life would sap his ambition for revenge, so he would rest his head on the weapon at night.
Sleeping on a pile of straw, he also hung a gall in the house and tasted the gall every morning when he got up. The soldiers outside the door asked him: "Have you forgotten the shame of three years?" ?" He assigned Wen Zhong to manage the country's political affairs and Fan Li to manage the military.
He personally went to the fields to work with the farmers, and his wife also spun and weaved. These actions of Gou Jian moved the officials and people of the Yue State. After ten years of hard struggle, the Yue State was finally well-equipped with troops and food, and turned from weakness into strength.
But King Wu Fu Chai blindly strived for hegemony without considering the people's livelihood. He also believed his uncle's bad words and killed his loyal minister Wu Zixu. In the end, Fu Chai succeeded in his struggle for hegemony and dominated the princes. But at this time, the Wu State seemed to be strong, but in fact it was in decline.
In 482 BC, Fu Chai personally led the army northward to compete with Jin for the leadership of the princes and allies. King Gou Jian of Yue took advantage of the elite troops of Wu to attack suddenly, defeated the Wu soldiers in one fell swoop, and killed the prince friend.
After hearing the news, Fu Chai hurriedly led his troops back home and sent people to ask Gou Jian for peace. Gou Jian estimated that Wu could not be destroyed at once, so he agreed. In 478 BC, Gou Jian personally led troops to attack Wu for the second time. At this time, the state of Wu was at the end of its power.
It was unable to withstand the strong attack of the Yue army and suffered repeated defeats. Finally, Fu Chai sent someone to ask Gou Jian for peace, but Fan Li insisted on destroying the state of Wu. When Fu Chai saw that he could not make peace, he regretted that he had not listened to Wu Zixu's advice. He was so ashamed that he drew his sword and committed suicide.
3. Sun Bin pretended to be crazy and acted like a fool
Sun Bin and Pang Juan were classmates. Pang Juan later became an official in Wei State. He thought that his talents were not as good as Sun Bin, so he secretly sent someone to invite Sun Bin. The state of Wei monitored it. After Sun Bin arrived in Wei, Pang Juan fabricated charges and sentenced Sun Bin to death and tattooing.
Gouged off Sun Bin's knees and tattooed his face, hoping to bury him in the world and not be known to anyone. Sun Bin pretended to be crazy and avoided a fatal disaster. Later, Sun Bin fled back to Qi State. King Wei of Qi admired Sun Bin's talents and put him to great use.
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4. Liu Bang surrendered
At the end of the Qin Dynasty, Liu Bang and Xiang Yu defeated the tyrant Qin Shihuang. Xiang Yu wanted to be the emperor, so he proclaimed himself the "Overlord of Western Chu". In order to consolidate his position, he canonized Liu Bang as King of Han. Liu Bang had no choice but to accept the canonization.
On his way back to his fiefdom, Liu Bang burned all the plank roads leading into Shu, indicating that he had no intention of expanding eastward and to guard against surprise attacks by others. Here, Liu Bang got the general Han Xin.
So, Han Xin suggested "secretly assassinating Chen Cang" to help Liu Bang defeat King Zhang and also defeat Xiang Yu, the overlord of Western Chu. Just imagine, if Liu Bang refuses Xiang Yu's canonization, he will be executed for "the crime of deceiving the emperor". Obviously, Liu Bang's concession was a wise choice.
5. Sima Qian wrote the "Historical Records" angrily
Due to Li Ling's incident, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty accused Sima Qian of "wanting to suppress the two masters and lobbied for the mausoleum" and falsely accused him. The crime of false accusation is a crime of great disrespect and should be punished according to the law. Facing the punishment of Dapi, he died out of admiration for justice. Although his reputation could be saved, the book was not completed and his reputation was not established.
This death is like the death of a drop in the bucket, no different from the death of an ant. I think of King Wen deducing the "Book of Changes" while in prison, Zhongni writing the "Spring and Autumn" when he was in trouble, Qu Yuan writing "Li Sao" when he was exiled, and Zuo Qiu, who was blind, writing "Guoyu".
Sun Bin practiced the art of war after being tortured by Binji, and Lu Buwei was demoted to a place where "Lu's Spring and Autumn Annals" was handed down. Han Fei was imprisoned in the Qin State and wrote "Speaking of Difficulties", "Lonely Anger" and 300 "Poems", which were probably written by wise men and saints to vent their anger. ?
Finally, in that era when "Zang's maids and concubines can still lead to execution", Sima Qian resolutely chose to redeem himself by corruption. At this point, Sima Qian was burdened with the ideal that his father could not complete throughout his life, and he was not shy in the face of capital punishment. In perseverance and humiliation, he completed the mission that belonged to Tai Shigong.
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