How to "fight with children"

What are the psychological laws to overcome bad habits? Automation to reduce bad habits. To overcome bad habits, the premise is self-control of behavior, and self-control must first realize the behavior to be controlled. There is a child who often "gnaws his fingernails", gnaws his fingernails in class, gnaws his fingernails as soon as he puts down his pen when doing his homework, and automatically gnaws his fingernails as soon as he finishes speaking in the group meeting. Other students laughed at him, and he felt ashamed, but he couldn't change it. He once made an appointment with his classmates to slap him whenever he was found chewing his fingernails. As a result, he was slapped countless times, and the classmates who slapped him were bored, and his bad habits did not change. Later, his parents learned this method from psychology books and taught him.

Do 6 negative exercises every day, chew your fingernails in front of the mirror for 3 minutes, rest 1 minute, and repeat 3 times. When eating, you must "appreciate" your ugly behavior of biting your fingernails in front of the mirror to enhance your disgust. 10 days later, he got rid of his bad habits. Breaking bad habits is always continuous with the behavior of contacts with "antecedents". Before a bad habit, there is always an event or behavior that seems to be the forerunner. We call it antecedent event or antecedent behavior. They have a considerable impact on bad habits, and even determine their consolidation and continuation.

For example, as soon as some children are questioned by teachers or speak in public, they nervously reach out and touch the back of their heads, or pat their heads and blink. Its predecessor was public speaking and nervousness. To guide children to overcome the bad habit of touching the back of the head and squeezing their eyes, it is necessary to eliminate the connection between them so that the antecedents will no longer cause bad habits. In this regard, parents can guide their children to take three countermeasures. First, try to avoid antecedents. For example, to eliminate the tension caused by children speaking in public. This needs more enlightenment and exercise. The second is to consciously stop the behavior that began to appear. For example, when you want to raise your hand and touch the back of your head, you should clench your fist and tell yourself, "Never put your hand over your shoulder." Bad habits can be overcome through repeated practice.

Consciously do behaviors that are incompatible with bad habits. For example, putting your hand in your pocket is incompatible with your fingers, and putting your hand behind your back is incompatible with touching the back of your head. Consciously do behaviors that are incompatible with bad habits immediately after the antecedent events. Over time, bad habits can also be overcome. The consequences of changing bad habits. Habit is also influenced by the result of habitual behavior, which can be regarded as a reward for habit and divided into two categories: punishment and reinforcement. Pain, frustration, embarrassment, fear and other adverse consequences are punishment, while the beneficial consequences such as meeting needs and gaining appreciation are reinforcement. Punishment can inhibit and weaken the occurrence of behavior, and strengthen the behavior that can be consolidated and used. Therefore, as long as we control the result of behavior, we can control behavior. The key to overcoming bad habits is to make them always have bad consequences.

Some children always refuse to get up early after school, so parents make a long-awaited phone call every day, prepare breakfast and coax their children to eat in different ways, and the children keep losing their temper. These parents often ask sadly, "How can I get my hateful son to get rid of the bad habit of not eating breakfast well?" Find out the root of bad habits and prescribe the right medicine. Some children's bad habits are caused by the interference of emotional activities. For example, if he is wronged and no one understands and comforts him, he will suck his fingers and mouth, and he will be nervous and unable to relax himself, which is likely to make the child form bad habits such as stuttering, blinking, nervous coughing and clearing his throat.

If parents don't relieve their children's mental troubles, they just blame their children and try to correct bad habits by exerting pressure. Perhaps the more severe the measures, the more serious the consequences will be. Going to the hospital for examination, the doctor said that the child was in good health. So my father thought Gaga was not doing well in school and developed the habit of lying and staying in school. In fact, this is the result of Gaga's excessive care and weak personality by her grandmother. He was afraid of being separated from his grandmother and could not adapt to school life, which led to "school phobia". For children like Lei Lei, we should mainly seek the help of teachers, give him more care, gradually guide him to exercise, and give him praise and encouragement in time.

When the emotional troubles are relieved, the habit of lying and staying in school will be eliminated. Therefore, when you find a child's bad habits, you can certainly try to correct them. If the effect is not good, the child still can't change. Parents should pay attention to their children's emotions, find out the root causes of emotional distress, help their children unload their psychological burden, establish confidence in themselves, and restore their past calm and cheerful. In this way, bad habits are eliminated. Of course, the use of provocation should be moderate and should not insult children. Otherwise, the child will be anxious, and the loss will outweigh the gain. Therefore, educating children is to "fight wits and fight bravely" with children. Smart parents must master various methods to make educational means and purposes complement each other.