Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Kneel for the lines of Zhao Benshan's sketch "Blind Date" and "Blind Date 2", please 3Q.

Kneel for the lines of Zhao Benshan's sketch "Blind Date" and "Blind Date 2", please 3Q.

Zhao: Yes, here it is. What do you think my son has done to make me a father's wife? You said it was the 1990s, and an old man was still trying to get involved. He was angry with me when I said I wouldn't come. The boy is good at everything, but he has a little donkey temper. I don't blame him, and I smell like this. When the girl comes, I'll just hand in the letter and finish it ... Is it time? (looking at the watch) It's over. I'm early. Let me come at 8: 00, it's only 7: 60, and go for a walk there. Huang: Now that young people have come up with new tricks, let me be a mother and take care of her. Look, the old woman is talking about her son-in-law. Yes, this is it. You said the man was not old enough, but all the parts didn't work. Maybe it's time for a thorough examination ... something is wrong. Zhao: Oh, my God, here comes the girl. Wrong, wrong? Brother in law? Grandma, not so good. It must be my son's date. This is not good. Come on. Huang: Stop! This boy must think that I am my girl. I have to ask. I said young people ... Zhao: young people? Huang: What's your last name? Zhao: Xu. Huang: Yes, exactly. I said Xiao Xu. Zhao: Oh, it's fifty-eight. Hello, Xu? Hmm. Huang: You said this is not my aunt. I told you as soon as we met. Zhao: Auntie? Huang: Ah, I'm your aunt Ma. Why don't you tell Mao Mao to wait when you're dating a young man? This was taken as soon as we met. What's going on now? Are you ashamed? Turn around and show your aunt. Zhao: I can't turn back. Huang: Turn around quickly. Zhao: Don't look at it. Read the back and the letter. Huang: Let's talk face to face. Zhao: I won't tell you. Huang: If you let us look at each other, we have to look at each other. If you don't let me see it, don't say that my father-in-law didn't know your uncle at that time. Zhao: Oh, my God, the timing is not right, huh. Huang: Are you? Zhao: His father. Are you a pony girl? Huang: Her mother's old horse. H: Haha ... Huang: I should say I'm sorry. You said you were just hurt. Zhao: That's all right. Let's just say that brother-in-law and sister-in-law are joking. Huang: Why do you look so familiar? Zhao: Really? I think you look familiar, alas ... Huang: You look like Xu Laonian. Zhao: It looks like a fight. I haven't seen her for over 30 years. Can I meet her here? Huang: What a coincidence? Zhao: That's really strange. Huang: Try calling a nickname. Zhao: Yes, Maya! Huang: Dog leftovers! Huang: Gee ... Zhao: Gee ... He: Gee ... Zhao: Gee ... Oh, dear ... Huang: It's been more than 30 years. Zhao: Thirty-one years ... two weeks. Huang: So where have you been all these years? Zhao: I went to the Great Northern Wilderness. Huang: When did you come back? Zhao: I have been back for several years. Alas, you haven't aged either. Huang: I'm over fifty, but I'm not old. Zhao: You are over 50 years old and your hair is shining. Alas … Huang: I don't think you have changed much. Zhao: I'm not doing anything. That's all. Huang: Old faded son, how can I feel warm when I see you? Zhao: Really? I'm fine. I've been dreaming about you. Huang: Really? Zhao: Really, I don't paste you. I don't lie to you at all. Huang: Do you remember that when you were a child, you were so old? Zhao: That's right. Huang: One day. Zhao: What day? Huang: We went fishing in the river. Your trousers were washed away by the river. How did you get home? Zhao: Oh, how clearly do you remember it? Have you forgotten? When I was a child, I went to my Gua Tian to steal melons. After dinner, I went to my bed, where you slept and peed on the kang. Huang: It's all my mother's fault. You said she insisted that we didn't belong together, so she fired us, or ... Zhao: Otherwise, we would have arrived long ago ... Stop it, it's no use. Why do you say that? Angry ... Ma Ya. Huang: Oh, how old are you? I'm embarrassed to call you that nickname. Zhao: You seem to be alive again. Huang: Please sit down, please sit down. Zhao: Let's talk for a while. Huang: Sit down, you sit down. Zhao: I want to know something. Huang: What's wrong? Zhao: Your old man, my name is brother-in-law. Where can I work? Huang: Well, I climbed the chimney. Zhao: Construction workers also earn a lot of money. Huang: What? Zhao: Huh? Why? Oh, it fell. Huang: Where does your eldest sister-in-law work? Zhao: Ah, her unit is enjoying happiness, and no one can compare with her. Huang: What unit? Zhao: Underground workers. Huang: Underground workers? Zhao: The terrible prince gave it to her. She regretted going to that place and couldn't turn back. Huang: Then how did you come here all these years? Zhao: Being a father and a mother, I dare not spend money indiscriminately. I am too tired to work in the fields during the day. When I get home at night, I have to cook, sew, wash, feed the chickens and beat the dogs, and drive the pigs into the pen. I brought up all the children at once, and I will become an old bean. Huang: What do you mean? Zhao: It's dry and salty. How are you? Huang: Me? I'm fine. Zhao: Good? Widows have a lot of difficult things to do, and they don't have to pull enough carts. A woman's face is narrow (this word may be wrong), and her face can't be worn off. Huang: You said it was strange that this person knew someone. Zhao: Let's stop talking. Long live understanding. You've been alone all these years? Huang: Why don't you live by yourself? Zhao: I didn't think of that. What do you want? Huang: Cough! After this autumn, the crops have broken their stems and cut their ears, leaving only the stems. What makes you think that? Zhao: Hey, Mom, braised autumn corn smells better. Huang: Hey, you're old. You seem to have some ideas? Zhao: You said you didn't want to make a mess of people. I thought these two years had been good. I went back to my hometown, planted some land, raised some chickens and collected some chickens. The old couple had nothing to do, so they smoked a pack of cigarettes, drank some tea, pulled a piece of skin and ate some melon seeds, talking and laughing. How many! Huang: That's a good idea. Zhao: Whoever doesn't enjoy this blessing will get 250 yuan. Huang: Look, it's getting more and more exciting. Zhao: Don't think that I've forgotten after being single for more than ten years. Don't be angry if we enliven ourselves by opening to the outside world. If we work hard, we must do something real. Huang: From what you said, did you find the right one? Z: Here you are. Huang: Who? Zhao: I won't tell you. Huang: Then where did you take it? Zhao: It turns out that our place is hollow. Huang: What does it look like? Zhao: Wow ... I pity you. Huang: Pity me? Zhao: Really, poor elephant. Huang: Ah, yes! Is it Xiaoqin's mother? Zhao: Come on, your father is more difficult than me. Huang: Who's that? Zhao: Everyone knows who this is, leaving you ... silly. Huang: Stupid? Zhao: You don't know anything. Anyone who has had sex with someone knows that under normal circumstances, 80% people say stupid things. Huang: Old man, what the hell is 80%? Are you going to say it or not? You didn't say I could go. Look at your hard work. Look ... Zhao: Stop! I said, say it! Do not tell me anything. Huang: Who? Zhao: You. Huang: Oh, my God. Zhao: I didn't say this to my face ... what happened in the evening ... (I'm afraid it's wrong here) Huang: Laogu, Laogu, you said that you left me unprepared. Zhao: This need not be repaired. It's no use. What are you going to prepare? Come on, give me a happy news. Really, just do it, but if it doesn't work, it won't work. We don't care about that shameless thing. It's no use. What are you talking about? It's no use pulling that. I've been holding on for years ... Let's go. Huang: Don't worry. Zhao: What's the hurry? Sweating ... Go ahead. Huang: Here you are ... Zhao: What? Oh, souvenirs? Huang: Come on, wipe your sweat. Zhao: No need to repair it. It's no use. It's already done. What are you rubbing? Just say yes, just say no, forget it, come on, what are you wiping? Isn't it a waste of time to say no after wiping your sweat? Huang: I'm a little scared. Zhao: Who are you afraid of? Huang: I'm afraid of children's opposition and everyone's gossiping. Zhao: How did you get back from living? Where did the spirit of childhood go? Have you forgotten that when we were young, we often went to the next village to watch movies, and sometimes we went to Liushutang when we came back. You said you were afraid to leave. What you told me, your ability, you are still there ... Huang: Stop it! Zhao: When you get to the key place, you should pinch it. Huang: So you didn't hear it? Zhao: What are you talking about? Huang: Xiaohong's mother wants to remarry, and the child said she would commit suicide and hang herself. Xiaohong's mother gritted her teeth ... Zhao: What's the matter? Huang: I almost fell on the train track. Zhao: These children are really heartless and unfilial. Young people can flirt and hug, and the elderly can only rely on them. This is very irritating. Huang: Don't be angry. Zhao: Why don't you just say it? I'll go back if I can't. Huang: Old Qiu, if anything happens to these children, where do you think we can find regret medicine? Zhao: When you are young, you will be in charge of your parents, but when you are old, you will be in charge of your children. When can you contract for a period of time and make your own decisions? Huang: Me, this is my life. Zhao: You, you always believe in your destiny. That won't do. Huang: Old Qiu, if you really have this idea, just wait for me. Zhao: I am tall or low. Give me an accurate message, will you? Can you solve it? Huang: (Kuqiang) Next life. Zhao: Huh? Huang: See you in the afterlife. Zhao: That's it. One pole will reach 3000 years. Can it be delayed? Huang: It's difficult! (crying) Zhao: (looking around) What are you doing? Do not pull. I thought someone was singing. What are you doing? I didn't say anything. If I don't agree, I'll unplug it. Don't do this. The influence is not good. What will happen? I don't feel well when you cry. Don't cry. What are you doing? What about the police? Don't cry, I don't even have an ID card here. Huang: What are you doing? Why are you crying? Zhao: I don't want to disturb the sound. You didn't stop. Huang: You are so strange. Zhao: Fight poison with poison. Huang: Here you are. Zhao: What? Huang: Wipe your tears. Zhao: What are you wiping? It thundered, not rained. Huang: (continuing to sob) Zhao: Stop crying. What are you crying for? If you can really cry something, it will be ok. 1 1 has been a long time, and there is no second time ... Oh, what are we doing? Huang: Oh, by the way, aren't we here to pick up the children? Zhao: Don't delay the business, we are about to achieve great things. Here you are. This is a letter from my son to your daughter. Huang: This is a letter from my daughter to your son. Zhao: Is this different? Huang: What? Z: The wharf. Look at that. Huang: Don't look at children believing you. Zhao: Study and study. Huang: It is illegal to read other people's letters. Zhao: What crime did you commit? Huang: Violating national laws. Zhao: If I don't understand you, whose letters are divided and whose children's letters are put aside, being a parent's watch is equivalent to a leader's audit. Huang: I don't judge you. Zhao: Hey, my son told me that no matter who comes to your house, you should see it in person and see the opposite ... Huang: Yes, my girlfriend said so. Zhao: Then look. What are you pretending? Huang: Look! Zhao: Look! Huang: Look. Zhao: Why don't you read it ... This word is written (the letter is upside down) ... Dear ... Huang: Oh, my God, this is ridiculous ... Zhao: These children really dare to poke the words up. Huang: Mom … Zhao: Dad … Huang: This is a letter for us. Zhao: Well, something happened. Look down. Huang: The two old people have worked hard for half a generation ... Zhao: They have suffered a lot for their children ... Huang: The children have arranged to meet today ... Zhao: Bless the two old people and pair up ... What the hell are these two words? Huang: ... double; Right; Deputy ... Zhao: (smiling) I know them. Huang: God, you are so bad! Zhao: That's my son. I know why his father scratches his heart every day. Hey, where did this girl slip away this time? This matter must be solved. When you say you're married, everyone wants to eat candy!