Laugh at English before you finish your homework

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, and the other is a sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow, and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

Two birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a sparrow. Who can point out which is the swallow and which is the sparrow?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer

Teacher: Please talk about it.

Student: The sparrow is next to the swallow, and the swallow is next to the sparrow.

2. Fishing nets

"Can you tell me what fishing nets are made of, Ann?"

"Many small holes tied together with ropes," the little girl replied.

fishnet

"Ann, can you tell me what the fishing net is made of?" The teacher asked.

"Fishing nets are made of many small holes tied together with ropes," the little girl replied.

3. New teacher

George came back from school on September 1st.

"George, what do you think of your new teacher?" His mother asked.

"Mom, I don't like her because she said that three plus three equals six, and then she said that two plus four equals six ..."

New teacher

On September 1 day, George came home from school.

George, do you like your new teacher? Mom asked.

"Mom, I don't like it, because she said that three plus three equals six, and later she said that two plus four equals six."

4. Physical examination

In a physics exam, Nick finished the first question quickly, while his classmates were still thinking hard.

The question is: when it thunders, why do we see lightning first and then hear thunder?

Nick's answer is: because our eyes are in front of our ears.

Physics examination

In a physics exam, while the students were still thinking hard, Nick quickly answered the first question.

The question is: Why do we always see the lightning first and then hear the thunder when it thunders?

Nick's answer is: because the eyes are in front and the ears are behind.

Joke: Women.

A Sikh, an Italian and a Frenchman were drinking in a bar when suddenly.

A woman appeared in their conversation.

Italians say that in Italy, we regard women as guitars. We press the top & scratch our ass.

The French say that in France, we treat women like brandy. Let's smell the smell first Then lick it slowly. What about women in your country,

Mr Singh?

Asked the Italian.

In our country, we treat women like records. First, we play the front & amp/ When we're done, we turn it over & play the back.

1 A little boy asked his father, Dad, how much does it cost to get married? The father replied, I don't know, son. I'm still paying! ! A little boy asked his father how much it would cost to get married. Dad said, I don't know, because I am still paying the bill.

A Sunday school teacher is telling her students the importance of making others happy. "Now, children," she said, "have any of you ever made others happy?"

"Teacher," said a little boy, "I made someone happy yesterday."

"Well done. Who's that? "

"My grandmother."

"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother happy. "

"Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday and stayed with her for three hours. Then I said to her,' Grandma, I'm going home', and she said,' Well, I'm very happy!' "

The teacher of a Sunday school (a children's class held by the Christian church on Sundays to instill religious ideas in children) is telling the students the importance of making others happy. "Now, children," she said, "have any of you ever made others happy?"

"I, teacher," said a little boy, "I made others happy yesterday."

"Well done, who is it?"

"My grandmother."

"Good boy. Now tell us how you make your grandmother happy. "

"Well, teacher. I went to see her yesterday and stayed with her for three hours. Then I said to her,' Grandma, I'm going home.' She said,' Oh, I'm glad!

Dick is seven years old and his sister Catherine is five years old. One day, their mother took them to their aunt's house to play, while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour, and then at half past four, their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a beautiful cake and a knife, and said to him, "here, Dick, here's a knife. Give me this cake." Cut this cake in half and give it to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman. "

"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How can a gentleman do it?"

"They always give the bigger piece to others." He menstruation answered at once.

Dick said "Oh". He thought about it for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her, "Catherine, cut this cake in half." .

Dick is seven and his sister Catherine is five. One day, their mother took them to their menstrual home to play and go to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour. At half past four, menstruation led Dick into the kitchen. She gave Dick a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Here, Dick, here's a knife. Cut this cake in half and give it to your sister. However, you have to remember to act like a gentleman. "

Dick asked, "Like a gentleman? What did the gentleman do? "

He Jing immediately replied: "A gentleman always gives a big piece to others."

Dick said "Oh". He thought for a moment, then he took the cake to his sister and said to her, "Catherine, cut this cake in half."

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to put them?

Stan: In the bathroom.

Fred: But what do you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: blindfold them!

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where do you want to put them?

Stan: The bathroom.

Fred: But what do you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: blindfold them!

George knocked on his friend's door. When his friend's mother answered the phone, he asked, "Can Albert come out to play?"

"No," said mother, "it's too cold."

"So," said George, "can his football come out to play?"

George knocked on his friend's door. When my friend's mother answered the door, he asked, "Can Albert come out to play?"

"No," said mother, "it's too cold."

"Oh, then," said George, "can his football come out to play?