Why do we always feel good about ourselves?

997 (Reverse Stat Cards)

Why do we think we are above average and feel good about ourselves?

See:

There is a concept in social psychology called "self-serving bias".

Its definition is that individuals tend to conduct self-awareness in a way that is beneficial to themselves.

Once upon a time, Freud had a classic joke. A husband said to his wife, "If one of us dies first, I think I will move to Paris."

There was also a survey in 2008 that found that 49% of married men believed that they had more responsibility for their children's education, but only 31% of their wives agreed. Similarly, 70% of wives think that they cook a lot, and 51% of husbands also think that they cook a lot.

In addition, there are driving skills, work ability, ethics, virtue, intelligence... Deep down in our hearts, we all believe that we are better than others. Self-serving bias will appear from time to time when comparing yourself to others.

Therefore, I often hear others say that someone - I don’t know where the confidence comes from...

Feeling:

About, I don’t know where it comes from. Self-confidence... This self-confidence comes from self-serving bias.

Not necessarily, it may be that you really don’t understand that person very well, or that your understanding is not three-dimensional and comprehensive enough.

When you hear other people say those things, just shut up and just understand what's going on. Even if you say it, you may not like to hear it. Well, don't say anything, just listen quietly. The other person may just want to find someone to talk to. Moreover, one person's feelings for another person may not be as simple as one sees them.

As for self-serving bias, yes, it exists. Just have a string in your heart to remind yourself, at least it will prevent you from falling into the pit of feeling good about yourself.

Take every step well.

Thoughts: How does self-serving bias work?

Four aspects:

1. Attribution bias - good, attributed to one's own efforts and abilities; bad, attributed to bad luck

2. Greater dedication/ability than average - I think I am better compared to others

3. Blind optimism - Even if 50 marriages have failed, I still believe that my marriage will last. Happiness

4. False Universality and Uniqueness - We overestimate the universality of our opinions and weaknesses (false universality), while underestimating the universality of our abilities and character (false uniqueness)

This blind optimism reminds me of “self-efficacy”.

Self-efficacy, the degree of confidence people have in their ability to do something well.

So how can you tell if your level of confidence is not overconfidence?

At first, treat this confidence as something other than overconfidence. Even if it appears to be overconfidence in the eyes of others, don’t regard it as overconfidence in your own mind.

Try to do this, and don’t give up easily when things get difficult, but work hard without self-doubt or distraction. If so, before this thing is done, the original confidence should be classified as overconfidence.

When that time comes, it seems that I won’t care about being overconfident anymore.

If you are afraid, you will be afraid. If you don’t go all out, you will hinder yourself.

Self-handicapping is another concept in social psychology.

Self-handicapping is when people set up obstacles to prevent themselves from achieving success.

People will eventually care about their own image.

They will also deliberately create some external obstacles to pave the way for possible failure in the future to protect their self-image.

As for writing about self-serving bias, writing about self-efficacy, and writing about self-handicapping, what is the use and where can it be used.

I don’t know, I just know that these are pitfalls and must be avoided.

My own knowledge tree has many loopholes, and some subjects have not even been planted at the root.

I don’t know if this self-serving bias has anything to do with evolution.

I don’t know, if there is any relationship, how did the self-serving bias form in the evolutionary process? (Remember to go back to school and look for books on evolution, cognition, nerves, and the brain)

OK:

Do the housework with him in the future.

Before setting goals, remind yourself of self-serving bias and don’t feel good about yourself.

Do your best to do things instead of creating various external obstacles for yourself to protect your image when you fail.

Don’t worry so much about your self-image. You are not as important as you think.

[1] Hou Yubo. Social Psychology [M]. Beijing: Peking University Press, 2017(3).

[2] David Myers. Social Psychology Study [M]. Translated by Hou Yubo, Le Guoan, Zhang Zhiyong, etc. Beijing: People's Posts and Telecommunications Press, 2017(11).