Ask for some jokes or riddles about snails and Altman

1. A snail was walking on the road and a turtle ran over him from behind. Later, the snail was taken to the hospital for emergency treatment. When the snail regained consciousness, the police asked about him. The snail replied, "I don't remember, everything was so fast ..."

My son didn't study hard since he was a child and didn't know anything. The day before yesterday, I took my son out shopping. My son found a snail in the food court. He picked it up, looked at it and found it dead. After walking for a while, my son found another one. He picked it up, looked at it and found it was still dead. Further on, there are more and more dead snails. My son felt something was wrong, so he ran over and asked me, "Dad, look, why are there so many dead snails here?" I looked intently and almost fainted. I shouted at my son, "What dead snail? This is the leftover snail shell. Don't pick things up! "

3. There is a naughty child. When he was eight years old, one summer night, he was alone at home. Suddenly he heard someone knocking at the door. He opened the door and saw that it was a snail ~~ Suddenly the snail said, "Can you give me a bite to eat? I am so hungry! " The little boy kicked him away ~ ~/kloc-one summer night after 0/0 years, the child heard a knock at the door again. He opened the door and saw that it was still a snail! ! Suddenly the snail said, "Why did you kick me?" ! ? ~~~"

In other words, the butterfly showed its love to the snail and the bee, weighed it for a long time, gave up the first love, and the bee finally chose the snail. The bee is puzzled and asks: You! ? Why did you break your oath? Why did you choose a stupid and ugly snail and give up flying with me? ! The butterfly replied faintly, because the snail has a home and you still live in the dormitory.

One day, a turtle saw the snail in a hurry by the roadside and said to the snail, "Come on up, I'll show you a paragraph!" " ",the snail climbed onto the turtle's back; After walking for a while, the tortoise saw a snail in a hurry and said, "Come up, too. I'll take you there! " "So the snail climbed up, too. The snail saw the snail and said, "Hello!" Then the snail said, "You must sit still, this fucking turtle is too fast!" "

6. Forest Games, Duck Race, Rabbit Hurdle, Frog Triple Jump. Finally, the snail tried to climb to the finish line, cursing while climbing: it was obviously a marathon, and he lied to me that it was 100 meters!

7. Mother snail said to the little snail, you are not young, son. I'll take you to the village next door for a blind date tomorrow. The little snail asked inexplicably, mom, mom, I'm only 12 years old, and I haven't reached the legal age for marriage. Mother snail said, when we arrive, you will be big.

8. King Wang Guoxuan at the bottom of the sea must weigh 65,438+000 Jin. The tortoise wanted to run for office, but she was only 99 Jin, so she turned to the snail for help. The snail said, "I can help you, but when you become king, you must make me the prime minister." The tortoise agreed. Snails were found during the election. "What are you doing? ? "Snail is busy quibbling:" Don't get me wrong, I'm telling a story to the tortoise! "" "

9. On Christmas Eve, Tom's parents are still working, and little Tom is alone at home. Suddenly there was a quick knock at the door. Little Tom wants to know who will come so late. He ran to the door and opened it, but there was no one outside. Little Tom is even weirder. Who is it? A prank? Damn it! When he was about to close the door, he saw a snail on the ground. At this moment, the snail said, "Please give me a bag of biscuits!" " "Tom is very angry. You bother me and want me to give you cookies? Thinking of this, he kicked the snail into the garden and closed the door. Eight years later, on another Christmas Eve, Tom's parents were still at work and Tom was alone at home, which reminded Tom of snails. Suddenly there was a quick knock at the door. Tom ran to open the door. No one was there. He looked down and saw the snail. He was about to say, "Do you want cookies? "I'll get it for you!" The snail spoke first: "Why did you kick me?"