Jokes between literati and writers

Once upon a time, there was a toothpick walking on the road. Suddenly, it met a hedgehog, so it stopped and waved and said, ". . . Bus. . . "

One day, the toothpick was walking and found a dime on the ground, so I bent down to check it, and then my waist broke.

"Is my face oily?" "Reflecting light, I can't see clearly."

At a class meeting, the monitor wanted to know how many people came, but he felt that there were many people who didn't arrive, so he thought about it and said, "Attention, everyone, raise your hand and I'll count."

There was a man who especially liked exploring and went to the primeval forest. When he heard that there were poisonous snakes, he brought a knife. And a guide.

After a while, my arm was bitten by a snake, thinking that a poisonous snake could be fatal in an instant. In desperation, I cut my arm with a knife.

The guide said: This snake is not poisonous.

A man from the city rowed a boat to go fishing. He saw another man on another boat, opened the toolbox and took out a mirror. He was surprised, so he rowed the boat and asked, "What are you doing with that mirror?"

"That's my fishing trick. I use a mirror to reflect the sunlight on the lake. Those fish will swim to the surface when they see a little sunshine on the water. All I have to do is reach out and catch them on the boat. " "wow! Is this trick really effective? "

"Spirit."

"Do you want to sell that mirror? I will pay $30 for it. "

"Well, I sold it to you."

After paying the money, the city man asked, "By the way, how many fish did you catch this week?"

"You are the sixth."

A nouveau riche went to stay in a hotel in the city. After checking in, the waiter took him to a room. As soon as he entered the door, he shouted, "Do you take me for a fool? Is your most expensive single room as big as a cupboard, and there is nothing in it except a chair? "

The waiter said, "come in, sir, this is the elevator!" " "

Ma Daha met a man in the street and went up to him and said, "Ah! Oh, my God! How have you changed so much? You used to look red, but now you are so pale. You used to be tall and strong, but now you are short and thin. I can hardly admit you, A Qiang. "

The man explained, "I'm not A Qiang."

Ma Daha: "Look, I'm right, even my name has changed!" " "

One girl is nearsighted. She used to wear glasses, but since she got a boyfriend, she no longer wears glasses. Her mother was surprised and asked her why she didn't wear glasses.

She said, "Mom, he thinks I'm more beautiful without glasses. The important thing is that I will think he looks better. "

Having dinner with friends the other day, we talked about getting married. My friend's wife is older than him, so I asked him why he found one older than him.

The friend replied, "Who doesn't choose the big one for the same money?"

A couple was driving in a swamp in Lu Yu, and their car got stuck. It took them a long time to get it out. At this time, they saw a young farmer coming along a country road with some cows.

When the farmer saw the couple in trouble, he stopped and gave him 50 yuan money to help them pull the car out. The husband agreed, and a few minutes later, the car got rid of the mud. The farmer said to her husband, "Do you know that I have pulled nine cars out of the mud pit today? Your car is the tenth."

The husband turned to look at the farmland and asked incredulously, "When will you have time to farm?"

"I don't farm," the young farmer replied solemnly. "My main job of the day is to water the pit."

A doctor used to be a painter, but because of his bad reputation, he turned to be a doctor.

A friend asked him, "How did you get into the business?"

The doctor said, "If this painting is not good or wrong, people will see it clearly at first sight. I don't like people picking on me. It doesn't matter whether you are a doctor or not. If you treat the wrong disease and bury the dead, won't anyone see it? "

Just went on a blind date.

After lunch, another girl said to me: Leave a QQ number.

I said I don't use QQ very much.

She said: it doesn't matter, I don't use it much either.

A beautiful woman fell on the subway, and the handsome guy next to her kindly helped her up. Beauty shy: Thank you. What's your name?

The handsome guy smiled handsomely and replied, My name is red scarf. ...

My computer was hacked, so I asked a friend who knows computers for advice.

The friend said, "There are too many computer hackers now! These people are people with knowledge and culture. "

Me: "Of course, a scholar like you won't be a hacker. You are educated and belong to the' literati' type! "

At this time, the son on the side came to say, "Dad! The ink is also black! "