If you have anything to say, save it for the grave-sweeping.

Every year in Tomb-Sweeping Day, the family goes on an outing to worship their ancestors. In Foshan, we call walking away and worship ancestors as mountains. One verb is hiking and walking, which means you should go out and feel the breath of spring on this day. Worship the ancestors and worship the mountains is even more grand. Chongshan does not highlight the word "ancestor" but refers to the mountain in general. First, in ancient Chinese, "mountain" means "grave" and "mountain worship" means "grave worship". Secondly, in spring, because of abundant rain, trees grow vigorously. People I don't know help each other every year. Besides sweeping graves, they also clean up the hills.

I have a lot of slang about Qingming, and one of them is "Let's talk about it before crossing the mountain" (if you have anything to say, leave it to the mountain), which is particularly impressive.

At that time, I was very young, interested in new things and especially fond of asking questions. My mother was also tired of my questions, so she said to me, "Let's talk about it before crossing the mountain."

So I believed it, and waited for the worship of the mountain with great expectation. My mother slapped me decisively and said, "Shh! What about you? Does Gary want to scare the old man to death? Are you going to piss your dad off and find a chance to visit the grave now? )"

I was very wronged. It was obviously my mother who asked me to leave a message when I went to worship the mountain. Now, instead of telling me, she told me that it would make my father angry. Tears flowed down like broken beads, but I knew I couldn't cry out loud, or I would face "braised pork with rattan" (to describe my ass being opened).

The child is so real. My mother explained to me afterwards that "I'll talk about it before I go to worship the mountain" doesn't mean that I really said it when I went to worship the mountain. The subtext is that I'm bored and don't want to talk to you now.

Now that I have grown up, I think of that experience and smile from time to time. Friction is inevitable between people, and when the two sides do not give in to each other, the conflict will gradually escalate. Only when one party gives in first can the dispute be resolved. But it's not that easy. No one will admit cowardice without going down the stairs. Therefore, it is logical to walk out of the mountains and take ancestors as "mediators".

Imagine, when the two sides were about to be tense, one side suddenly said, "Let's talk about it first." In this case, will the atmosphere be much easier? Although this sentence means admitting cowardice, admitting cowardice is not equal to weakness, but choosing to compromise. The other party will get the message when they hear this sentence, and will not pursue it hard.

This subtle and euphemistic expression is very popular in China society. It is not as simple, rude and direct as western society, but it can be as strong as wine but not spicy. Today is Tomb-Sweeping Day, so please take your drink to the grave. I remember, "Before you leave for worship, talk about it first. One kilometer (don't) scare the old Doubai Mountain. "