Please tell me some English jokes! Want Chinese! ! ! Not too much! Urgent! ! ! ! ! ! ! Be original, Yi Dong’s!! urgent! ! ! !

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad . How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

He won

Tom: John Ni, how is your little brother?

Johnny: He is ill and bedridden. He was injured.

Tom: That’s too bad. What’s going on?

Johnny: We played a game to see who could lean out the farthest out of the window, and he won.

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A kid bit me ," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

"I'd know him anywhere," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

His ear is in my pocket.

Ivan returned home with a bleeding nose. His mother asked, "What happened?"

"A boy bit me," Ivan said.

"Can you recognize him when you see him again?" Mom asked.

“I recognize him wherever he goes,” Ivan said. "His ears are still in my pocket."

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday ?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more . But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

Good boy

Little Robert asked Mom wants her two cents.

"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You are such a good boy," my mother said proudly. "Here's your two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady?"

"She's a candy seller.

”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk. "

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

Drunk

One day, the father went home with his young son. This child is at that age where he is interested in everything and always has endless questions. He asked his father: "Dad, what does the word 'drunk' mean?" "Well, son," replied the father, "look there are two policemen standing there." If I saw them as four, then I would be considered drunk. "But, Dad," said the child, "there is only one policeman there!" ”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat- trap, sir," replied the boy.

Hospitality

Since there was no cheese at home when the guests were eating apple pie, the hostess apologized to everyone. The little boy The boy quietly left the room. After a while, he returned to the room with a piece of cheese and put the cheese on the guest's plate. The guest smiled and put the cheese into his mouth and said, "My child, your eyes are bigger than your mother's." Good. Where did you find the cheese? "On the mousetrap, sir." said the little boy.

Little English Jokes

Last Friday I wore an Adidas shirt to play ball. When an old lady saw it, she laughed at me and said, "Do you

know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex. I have been thinking about sex all day long.

Sex, the abbreviation is Adidas) "I was surprised how he reacted so quickly and had such strong association. When I was rich, an old American next to me helped me out. He said, there is a very famous choir Korn, and one of their signature songs is A.D.I.D.A.S. (All day) I dream about sex) So, this allusion is familiar to many Americans

You can know the details! Next time it will be you who makes fun of the Americans

Simple English jokes The translation is as follows:

1.ass and man

Donkey and the person who buys the donkey

A man wanted to buy an ass. He went to the market, and saw a likely one. But he wanted to

test him first. So he took the ass home, and put him into the stable with the other asses.

The new ass looked around , and immediately went to choose a place next to the laziest ass in

the stable. When the man saw this he put a halter on the ass at once, and gave him back to

his owner. The owner felt quite surprised. He asked the man, "Why are you back so soon? Have

you tested him already?" "I don't want to test him any more," replied the man, "From the

companion he chose for himself, I could see what sort of animal he is."

中文：A buyer went to the market to buy a donkey. He picked up a donkey that looked nice, but he wanted to take it for a try. He took the donkey home and put it among his other donkeys. The donkey looked around and immediately went to a lazy donkey. So the person who bought the donkey immediately put a bridle on the donkey and took it back to the donkey's seller. The seller felt very strange. He asked the buyer: "Why did you come back so soon?" The buyer said: "No need to try again. Judging from the kind of friends he chose, I already knew he was What's going on.

"

2. The Looney Bin

The Lunatic Asylum

Late one night at the insane asylum (lunatic asylum) one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"

Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted , "I did not!"

One night, in the lunatic asylum, a patient said: "I am Napoleon!" Another said: "How do you know?" The first person said: "God told me

I said it!" After a while, a voice came from another room: "I didn't say it!"

Notes:

(1) Looney ( Slang) madman

(2) inmate (n. roommate, roommate (especially in hospital, prison))

(3)insane asylum

3.A mother mouse

A mouse’s second language is also important

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she

spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and

the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat

was so terrified that it ran for it's life.

Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you

understand the value of a second language?"

A mother mouse took her children out for a walk. Suddenly she saw a cat staring at the bushes.

The mother mouse called to the cat: "Woof" , woof, woof." The cat was very frightened after hearing this and ran away as fast as she could.

The mother mouse turned back and said to the child complacently: "Now you know the importance of foreign languages. ”

These are all simple~~~~