Parents' perception: Do you want to have a second child?

My son goes to school and my husband is on duty. Although the house is small, I still feel empty when I am alone. Many friends advised me to have a second child. Actually, I really thought about it more than once.

I grew up in a big family. My grandparents are all six or seven brothers and sisters. In my generation, almost every family has three or five sisters and brothers. When I was a child in my hometown, I was always a lively group of people. My parents never worry about where to play or where to eat.

As long as I can remember, I have known that family planning is a basic national policy. Although I envy families who can have more children, I never thought I would have a second child after marriage. When I was pregnant, I hoped that God would give me twins. With the birth of my son, China has a glorious one-child family, and I am even proud of it.

At the end of 20 15, as soon as the second child policy was released, I was ready to move, and my mind was full of what our second child looked like after birth. As long as I am free of thought, I am excited to imagine how to rearrange the corner of my home if I have a second child, and put a bed in the living room, put the sofa aside so as not to delay my stroller, change the cupboard in the big bedroom and add lockers in the dining room. Every day my husband says I'm crazy, so let me not be impulsive. My son, who is in the third grade, is watching as if he were watching my joke!

My parents-in-law are more excited about the policy of having a second child later than I am. They have planned our life after giving birth to the second child, how they divide their work, and even think about what to do at any time every day. My mother-in-law, who is nearly 70 years old, said that if she couldn't hold her, she would push it with a car and show it to her two children! It turns out that the countryside is so poor that seven or eight children can support it. Now it's better than before! I told my husband what my mother-in-law said. My husband just smiled and shook his head and slowly told me why he resolutely didn't want a second child.

First of all, I'm not young. As a standard elderly woman, her son is delivered by caesarean section, so it is very difficult and risky to have a second child. My physical condition is inferior to that of young people in all aspects. Needless to say, the pain of pregnancy is also hard for me. And postpartum recovery is very slow. How can I have so much energy to look after the children? Five months maternity leave, if you don't recover, you have to go to work and go home to have a baby. Even if I don't do any housework, the children still have to find their mother. My body will definitely be overwhelmed and sick. If so, can a second child still bring us happiness and happiness?

Although my parents-in-law still want to have grandchildren, the plan seems to be thorough, but her mother-in-law can't walk more because of degeneration, her father-in-law has a cerebral infarction, and her health is not as good as before, and she is going to be 70 years old soon, so she can't work too hard. Moreover, there are grandmothers in their 90 s in their hometown who need to go back to visit and accompany them at any time. The number of patients has also increased significantly in the past two years. Qian also told me that it is not realistic to ask a nanny to look after the children.

My husband said that we still have to talk about the education of the second child. You should also give remedial classes and special courses to other children. Transportation from all walks of life, and more importantly, family education, can we have so much energy after our busy work? If you choose to have a second child, you must be responsible for the child. You gave birth to him, but you can't educate him with your heart, just let him grow up with enough to eat and drink. We have worked so hard to train the boss, but the second child may become a mediocre person. My husband said that he would be sorry.

If you don't have a second child, the most important thing is the education of your son. Thirteen-and fourteen-year-old boys, who have just entered adolescence, have a lot of thoughts, great emotional changes, unstable psychology, eager for communication, understanding and encouragement, and are facing the senior high school entrance examination, so they are under great learning pressure. These two years are very critical periods in their lives, and they need the attention and guidance of their parents. Having a second child is bound to neglect the discipline of his son and have a negative impact on his studies and growth.

In the old family, a child was born almost every two or three years. Big brother began to do housework and see his younger brothers and sisters when he was four or five years old. That kind of brotherhood is profound. Now it is said that having a second child is a trick to the boss, but if the age difference is too big to grow up together, how much real understanding can there be if the two children are only related by blood? How deep can brotherhood be?

After listening to my husband telling me the reason, I finally calmed down slowly. Husband is right, the second child, others have their own reasons, we do not have children, but also after full consideration. Having a baby is not like buying food or keeping a pet. Never follow the trend. The second child is like a luxury for me after 70, and I can't afford it!

Work hard, pay attention to my son's growth and study, enjoy a leisurely life and accompany my elderly parents. Second child, I decided not to give birth again!

Author: Zilan

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