A funny joke of civilization

Civilized jokes 1:

1, on one occasion, Mr. Shi Jun, director of the telecommunications department of IBM, gave a speech.

In order to let everyone hear, the staff specially installed a wireless microphone for him.

But he didn't want to wear it, so he began to talk:

Now the equipment is really advanced. I bought a fully automatic washing machine for my mother before, and she never used it. . . . .

After a while, the staff found that the microphone didn't work. After checking, I found that the original switch was not turned on, and Mr. Shi Jun smiled.

I know why my mother doesn't use the washing machine. She can't switch it!

For business reasons, a contractor intends to bribe a member of parliament with a new luxury car.

The congressman said with a straight face, sir, the usual code of conduct and my basic sense of honor don't allow me to accept such a gift! ?

The contractor said, Sir, I quite understand your position. Tell you what, I'll sell you this car for $65,438+00. ?

The member considered for a while and replied flatly:? In that case, I want two. ?

One summer, Jones went to explore the African jungle. Unfortunately, when he met a cannibal tribe, his heart cooled. Sigh at the sky:? Ah! Oh, my God, now I'm finished! ? Unexpectedly, the voice of God fell from the sky. No, you're not finished. Kill the leader in front with the stone under your feet. ? Jones did it at once. God just said:? Now you're finished! ? He looked around and found that more than one hundred Turks were staring at him with angry eyes.

4. Surfing on the Internet is getting higher and higher. Many companies have opened accounts, but often employees use them but the boss doesn't understand.

One day, the boss asked his subordinates, this? How to surf the Internet at home? Clerk: Connect your laptop to the telephone line, and then dial the number to surf the Internet. The boss immediately said, I know this.

In the evening, the staff's pager kept calling. After returning to Taiwan Province, the boss couldn't get online when he connected the telephone line. The clerk flew to see the boss's laptop tied with a telephone line and a beautiful bow, and dialed 96300 directly with the phone in his hand, muttering: What's the matter, is there such a loud voice again?

Civilized funny joke 2:

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who had a lot of land and found many long-term workers to work. The landlord built a number of single dormitories for long-term workers. One day, the landlord's counselor said to the landlord, "Landlords and long-term workers have some money in their hands these years. It's not cost-effective to let them live in your house and pay the rent every month. Anyway, they will live forever. You might as well sell the house to them. " ! Tell them that the house will always be theirs and they can get back the money they have saved in recent years. The landlord said, yes, what about the rent? The counselor said: manage it well and give it a Japanese name, called property fee! The landlord implemented it quickly and made a lot of money. The long-term workers are so happy!

After a few years, the landlord's village has developed into a town, and more and more rich people have no place to live. The counselor said to the landlord: the landlord and the long-term workers have been rich again in recent years. Let's build a new house for them and name it. They gave us money. We tore down the house, built a new one and told them to buy it and sell it to others. This time, some long-term workers have implemented it again.

A few years later, the landlord's village has developed into a big city, with more rich people and more valuable land. The counselor said to the landlord, "boss, let's tear down the houses of these long-term workers and build villas in this place." If the demolished land is built and sold to rich tycoons, it will still make a lot of money. The landlord said, "What if the long-term workers don't do it? "The counselor said: I will give them more money and make a name for monetization. I want to build a house next to our pigsty and make a name for affordable housing. I will build a carriage road and let them buy a house there. The landlord said: What if they don't have enough money? The counselor said: I borrowed it from our bank and gave it to them at 6 cents a year. I can still have money with this money, there is no risk. The landlord has realized it again. Long-term workers got the money, and the landlord's affordable housing was built until now. Long-term workers have to wait in line for the house and have been waiting until now. As a result, the long-term workers began to make trouble, and the landlord was a little panicked and asked the counselor what to do. The counselor said: Hurry up and inform the long-term workers that the house will fall in price. If we don't buy it, we will rent our pigsty to them. As a result, after so many years, all the long-term workers have lost, and they are still renting a house forever!

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