A face-saving joke

One day, Zhuge Liang sent Zhang Fei to negotiate with Cao Cao's people. Only gestures are allowed in this negotiation, not words.

Cao Cao's men drew a circle in the air, Zhang Fei made a gesture of three, Cao Cao's men made a gesture of eight, and Zhang Fei patted his ass and ran away.

Cao Cao's subordinates said to Cao Cao: I said I wanted national reunification, but he insisted on three pillars. I said there were 800 thousand troops, and he scared away.

Zhang Fei told Zhuge Liang this way: He asked me how many pieces I could eat in such a big cake, and I said three pieces. He asked me if eight would do. I didn't want to die, so I ran away.

A polar bear stayed in a daze on the ice, and when he was really bored, he began to pluck his own hair. A ..........................................

There is a man who looks like an onion, crying as he walks.

Once upon a time, there was a game. One day, he felt his head itch, so he scratched it a few times and burned himself to death.

On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana in front suddenly feels so hot. He said, it's too hot, I want to take off my clothes. As a result, he skinned it. As a result, the banana in the back fell down.

There is a hide-and-seek club whose leader has not been found yet.

Hold out four fingers. What is it? Fourth, bend four fingers. What is this? Wonderful ~!

Once upon a time, there was a loaf of bread walking in the street. He felt hungry and ate himself.

Once upon a time, there was a marshmallow who went to play ball for a long time. He said, "I'm so tired that I feel soft."

One day mung beans committed suicide, jumped down from the fifth floor, shed a lot of blood and became red beans; It has been squeezed dry and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally turned into black beans.

One person has a bad stomach. One day, he went to the Stomach Hospital and said to the doctor, "I pull everything I eat, eat watermelon and pull cucumber!" " The doctor thought about it and said to him, "I think you have to eat shit!" " "

The dung beetle family went to the countryside for a picnic. Dung beetles's mother asked, "Honey, did you bring food?" "What to eat, don't you see cows all around? Let's go there and wait. " As a result, the dung beetles family drowned. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Xiao Huamei: "Mom, I'm not feeling well today. Can I not go to school? " Big plum: "What's the matter?" Xiao Huamei: "I feel so sore all over, really."

Fat made a girlfriend and broke up in less than a week. A friend asked why, and Pang said, "She said … she felt so tired after seeing me for a long time …"

A person always farts at work, and colleagues can't help but say, can you be quiet? Then I saw him sitting there trembling and asked him what he was doing. I have tuned it to vibration now. ...

One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. He was very sad, so he kept crying, crying, crying .............................................................................................................................................................. ~ ~ ~

One day, a rice ball was walking in the street, sweating like a pig, and it became porridge.

Three people-China, American and Japanese-went to the desert to play. Without water and food, they are dying. Suddenly, they saw a bottle. Thinking there was water, the Americans opened it and flew out an elf. They promised everyone three wishes.

American: I want to drink enough water and take a lot of dollars home.

Japanese: I want to drink enough water, hug women and go home.

China: I want Erguotou. After drinking-

I want more Erguotou. I'm drunk again-

Where are my two friends? Call them back.

Americans and Japanese came back and were very angry. Continue to walk in the desert.

Seeing another bottle, the Japanese opened it. Another elf flew out and granted everyone three wishes.

Americans and Japanese are afraid that China will make a wish first, as they just did.

China: Give me a bottle of Erguotou. I’m going home.

Tinker bell: There is another wish.

China people: You have nothing to miss. Let's go

My English teacher always likes to ask questions in class. Whenever someone is asked to answer a question, he always asks: Can you? Means you can.

One day we learned the word born, the meaning of fertility, and then she gave an example: a sow can give birth to ten piglets at a time, and then let a boy translate. After the boy stood up, the teacher did not forget to ask: will you? The boy replied: I won't.

After ten seconds of silence, the whole class laughed.

One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit.

He announced: "children, we can wash the fruit together after picking it, and we can eat it together after washing."

All the children went to pick fruit.

As soon as the assembly time came, all the children got together.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what do you have?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked them."

Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? "

A-Ming: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit."

An international student is taking a driver's license test in the United States, and the sign ahead suggests turning left. Not sure, he asked the examiner, "Turn left?"

A: "Yes", so ... I hung up. ..

A gentleman went to test his driver's license. During the oral examination, the examiner asked, "You saw a dog and a man in front of the car. Did you run over the dog or the man?"

Without thinking, the gentleman replied, "Of course, he ran over the dog."

The examiner shook his head and said, "Come back next time."

The gentleman is not convinced: "I don't run over dogs, do I run over people?"

The examiner reprimanded loudly: "You should brake."

There are five eggs in the refrigerator. The first said to the second: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao ~ ~ It's terrible ~!

The second said to the third: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao ~ ~ It's terrible, it's terrible ~!

The third said to the fourth: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao. ...

The fifth egg heard it: get out ~! Lao zi is kiwi fruit ~! ! !

There is a classmate named Huang Jiajian in my high school class.

One day, I didn't go to class. When the old class came into the classroom, I saw that his seat was empty.

Just asked: Hey, where's Huang Jiajian?

After the whole class laughed, they all called him Huang Gupo.

In the past, the exam teacher handed out papers, and the girls at the back took one more and shouted, "Teacher, I have it, I have it." As a result, the boy sitting next to him said, "It's mine, it's mine."

Another time, I went to buy breakfast and found that my usually unsmiling boss was also waiting in line, so I was very nervous. After greeting, I summoned up my courage and said to the chef, "Master, please give me a steamed stuffed bun and two breasts!" " ~ ~ ~ Woo ~ ~ It's the first time in two years to hear the boss laugh so loudly ~ ~ ~ Depressed ~ ~ ~

The political teacher once said in a lecture, "Let me give you an example." Then he felt wrong and said, "Give me an example."

In junior high school, the teacher asked the translator. Who is this person? A classmate translated: Whose man is this? The whole class laughed and the teacher was speechless.

Please describe the conversation between two mice in the wheat field, so as to warn people as mice and make them realize the importance of environmental protection. Require more than 800 words

A classmate wrote:

"Squeak, squeak, squeak?"

"cheep! Hey ~ ~ Hey, hey, hey. "

"cheep! Cheep! Cheep! Hey, hey, hey! "

"Make cheep? Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep. "

"cheep! Opportunity ... squeak, squeak, squeak. "

"Squeak, squeak, squeak."

"... cheep! ! ! !"

"Squeak, squeak, squeak."

"Make cheep? Squeak, squeak, squeak. "

"cheep! Squeak, squeak, squeak. "