Humorous copywriting that makes people laugh without losing money

1. Today, I met and chatted with a well-known old Chinese medicine doctor. After hearing about my profession, he suggested to me: In your profession, you should drive less and take public transportation more in summer. Or walk, drink less drinks, no beer, let alone red wine, drink more boiled water, try not to use air conditioning at home, exercise more, and don't eat out, especially seafood. I nodded... The old Chinese medicine doctor continued: After all, you earn too little money, so save as much as you can! Don't put a burden on your family...

2. I went to withdraw money today, and there was a man behind me who kept staring at me. I was so nervous that I entered the wrong password several times, so I turned around and said to him: Why do you want to rob me? He said: I just want to see how much money you can withdraw by putting your ID card in.

3. Yesterday, my husband sent me back to my parents’ home, and I was very excited. When I arrived at the train station, I said: I can do it by myself, don’t worry, you can go back first! Husband: It’s okay. I won’t worry if I don’t watch you get in the car. I shyly said: Oh! It's cold, everyone is fine! I'm such an adult, don't worry about me... Husband: Don't talk nonsense, I'm afraid you won't leave...

4. A little bird wearing a body armor danced happily on a big tree. At this time, a hunter came and killed the bird with a "bang", and the bullet hit the bird's heart. Question: How can a bird get killed while dancing in a bulletproof vest? Answer: Doing a striptease.

5. The father tutored his son in Chinese and asked him to use the word "bird" to form words. Son: Bird Feather. Father: Yes, come again. Son: Bird head. Bird song. Bird man. Father: Very good. Can you make a sentence using these words? The son looked at his father: You are a bird man. You don’t have many bird feathers. You shake your bird head all day long and whisper in bird language.

6. My cousin is 8 years old this year. The year before last, my cousin’s family formed a remarriage family. His current mother is very kind to him, but he refuses to acknowledge this relationship with his cousin and never calls her mom or aunt. Yesterday his classmates asked him, who are you, that aunt? Answer: Roommate...

7. The baby pig asked his mother in confusion: Mom, we are both human beings. Why is it that the baby dog ??is favored by his master, but I am ignored by him? The mother said: My son, my dog’s father is a police dog and a civil servant, and your father is an otaku. This is an era of fighting for fathers!

8. I went to the supermarket to buy bananas today. I saw that there was no price tag, so I asked the salesperson, how much does this banana cost?

5 yuan per pound, why is it so expensive? Imported ones are of course more expensive. At that time, I asked where else bananas could be imported without importing them... Is it a bit embarrassing?

9. I am a 21-year-old girl with a weird mother. During the holidays, she joked to her that she wanted to get married and asked her to pay attention to me. One day, my mother came back from the vegetable market and said very happily: "Mom has found a pork seller for you. He is as old as you. He will not be afraid of rising pork prices in the future." This is not gc. Later, I passed by the vegetable market one day and saw my mother buying meat. I walked over and heard the pork guy said: Mother-in-law, I left two kilograms of ribs for you... What does mother-in-law mean? 10. I went to see my grandma. She asked me if I had found a job. I said that I had found a job. I was so touched. It turned out that my grandma had been worried about me.

The next day, grandma was chatting with someone else, and they talked about me. Then grandma said: Don't look at this child's ugly appearance, he can find a job...Grandma, I am here, give me some face! 11. If your girlfriend tells you: Husband, I have a stomachache. Don’t answer: drink hot water. If you answer, it means you have to buy her a bag to smooth over the incident. I can't answer: I'll take you to the hospital. If I go, it means you have to pay for registration fees, medical expenses, medical expenses, plus a big meal. Remember: My girlfriend said: Husband, my stomach hurts. You have to answer: Stop being ridiculous, how can you have a stomach?

12. There was a buddy in the dormitory with a carefree personality. One night when everyone was sleeping, they suddenly heard a bang and woke up. When they woke up and looked at the ground, they saw that he had fallen to the ground and was still there. molar. We watched him silently for a minute without any response, and then we decided to fall asleep. Just five seconds after we lay down, the climax came, and we heard him lying on the ground and saying: Damn, It turned out that I was the one who fell.